Why does sex changes a relationship?

Posted on March 25, 2010. Filed under: Man-Women Issues | Tags: , , |

Can a man and a woman be good friends and not be sexually attracted to each other ?

Will those emotional forces be unleashed and run riot when they are together in the right place and time .

Will their humanly instincts of procreation’s come forth and take them to where they do not want to go ?

These are the questions where there are no definite answers. Some will succumbed to those emotional forces which they are unable to control .They do not know what they are dealing with .

Sex may mean different things to different people .But once when sex happens between two very good friends of the opposite sex, the relationship is bound to change

The men or the women would feel differently towards each other. It will no more be the same and they will be unable to revert back to the old levels of friendship.

Sex means commitment to some men. If they have sex with prostitutes, they know it is just a mere transaction.

If they have sex with their woman friend, it brings on a different meaning in the relationship.It changes the dynamics of a relationship.

He will feel the need to love, provide and protect the woman . This is just an instinct in men , except for those conman who are only after sex .

When a man have sex, waves of love will generate from him towards her.He will mostly agree to everything you asked from him after you have had sex with him.

Of course most women would not do that because it would feel like they are prostituting themselves.

Even though men are not as emotional as women , they have emotions too. Sex brings on a different emotions to them.

They will have to ponder if they want to stay at his level or commit themselves to the woman.

Yes! They are also scared that the women could be using sex and pregnancy to bait them into a marriage or commitment.

If you want to maintain the close friendship level , you should not cross the thin red line.

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Aversions to oral sex ?

Posted on March 1, 2010. Filed under: Man-Women Issues | Tags: , , , |

There are still some countries which have archaic laws against oral sex or sex against the natural order of things. You can be fined , caned or jailed.

Some women do not enjoy oral sex or feels no benefits from it.

It could be their strong inhibitions or taboo’s in their culture or mental blocks or some sexual traumas which prevented them from enjoying it.

When a woman is made to feel that she has to perform oral sex because it is her duty to her husband/boyfriend, because he wants and enjoys it, or because she’s being controlled, she loses any real desire and therefore any chance of ever enjoying it herself.

Withholding oral sex on her or manipulating her would backfire on you.She would resent your attitude and would kill off her sexual desires for you.

Do you want to have sex with her for your own selfish desires or to pleasure and make her orgasm.

Ideally , it should work out both ways but when one partner has an aversion to oral sex, there is nothing much you can do about it but to accept it in your stride.

You should put her at ease without any expectations
or insist on oral sex. Allow her to choose when ,where and what she can do together.

It is like dancing. She may not like those fast numbers but prefer those slow one’s. You need to respect her , give her the control and encourage her efforts.

Encourage her to come out of her timidity and give her encouragement when she does the right things.

You need to teach each other about your bodies and the pleasures it brings but if she does not like it, you should not force upon her .

Go along with her wishes as this would make her feel love and appreciated and she won’t feel pressured to perform.

reference:-
http://justmemarissa.wordpress.com/2007/10/03/oral-sexovercoming-my-aversion/

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Are you a doormat ?

Posted on February 27, 2010. Filed under: Man-Women Issues | Tags: , , , |

There are givers and takers but unfortunately, some givers give so much of themselves that people will take advantage of them and they will become doormats or people pleaser.

Usually, it’s not intentional , but it does happen.

You become a doormat when you agree to do something you know is wrong and/or don’t want to, just because they want you to.

You should be so happy to be around this person, that you go against your personal beliefs and feelings.

You let them walk all over you even if there is dirt on their shoes.

You really need to evaluate your relationship with him . It will not get any better but will only get from bad to worse.

Don’t be obligated to do for others because you are afraid they will get mad.

Don’t go out of your way to put your life on hold in order to cater to others, so much that you may cancel appointments or never have time for yourself?

Set out your own limits and boundaries.

Do not always conform to his opinions.Don’t keep your opinions and feelings to yourself.Air them out.

Find your own voice or you will be forever be controlled by him.The more space you give him , the more he will exploit it .

Understand what is wrong being a doormat. Don’t sacrifice your time and energy for something you don’t enjoy doing and treat yourself the way you want to be treated.

You are slowly being suffocated and he relished what he is doing to you .

You need to get out before depression hits you . You don’t deserve all those treatments.

Love should not have any pains .If there is ,then it is not love.

You will one day regret wasting your time and energy on a fool who does not deserve you .

Where is your self worth and self respect?

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A man’s word is not cast in stones!

Posted on February 26, 2010. Filed under: Man-Women Issues | Tags: , , , , |

A man’s word is not ‘cast in stone’ unlike God’s word.

What a man said is only valid at that particular moment or maybe 24 hours or 1 week and after that it is no more valid or has become inapplicable.

Many women kept those words said by men for 20 or 30 years and some till even their dying days.It is so dumb to believe those words said by man like the Gospel truth.

What they said at one moment can be forgotten in a few minutes or hours and they conveniently do not remember them after wards and go about doing their usual thing without a care.

While the women are carrying those hurts every minute of their walking life.
Those hurtful words are like arrows shot at their heart and remains there for eternity untill someone comes and take them away.

Words said 2 months ago does not apply anymore.Circumstances have changed and to know whether they have changed, you need to go there and probe him.

Breakups are common among the youngs because they are inexperienced and do not know how to handle those pressures.It does not mean that you are not suited or incompatible with each other.

In time , if they are fated to be together, they will make up again.

Breaking up does not mean that you will walk away forever from that person.There are many people who make up after they breakup when they realized their follies.

Relationship is not an easy thing and you don’t just lie on the bed and everything will solved by itself.

You need to have understandings , love and the capacity to resolve all those contentious issues.

People are not machines and they have feelings and emotions. They can be influenced and swayed by emotions and certain actions of another individual.

The ground is not always static for it can shift according to those external forces.

Sometimes ,what you hear or see is not what you get.

You not only have to hear what is spoken from the mouth but you also need to feel with your heart what that person wants or means.

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Man’s roving eyes.

Posted on February 24, 2010. Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , |

We humans are born with a roving eye. In one study , it was found that woman’s eyes are more roving than the man . The difference is that, men do it too obviously than the women.
Woman’s roving eyes are even more dangerous.

The way a man looks at a woman and a woman looks at another woman is not the same. She would scan her in a split seconds and her mind would quickly assessed her. Whereas man only focused on certain parts of her body

Don’t blame the men . It is not that they don’t love you but up to that point, their mind is taken over and they lose control of it.

Many women are embarrassed in public when their men gaze lasciviously at other women without blinking and some even salivating in their mouth.

It is disconcerting when your man does that. You can tell him your feelings but it is impossible to tell him to stop ogling at those sexy and pretty urns. It is his nature.

Some women want to control their men from looking at other women.you need to understand and accept them as they are.It has nothing to do with you .

Men are imbued that way for the human species to survive.

What happens in man’s brains when a “pretty” woman comes into view is that the part of the brain called the visual cortex (VC) automatically registers her presence and, without conscious thought, his eyes turn to assess her.

A thing of beauty is a joy forever. Who does not enjoy looking at a pretty thing? It is just looking and nothing more.

Some look from the corner of their eyes, some stare, some ogled and some are fixated and many women have a problem dealing with this behaviour.

Why blame the men ? The men are visual creatures. Even a pretty thing can be stale after sometime and they want to see new things.

Reference:-
http://searchwarp.com/swa59039.htm

http://www.buzzle.com/articles/roving-eyes-heartache.html

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Will you live together (cohabit) with your b/f before marriage ?

Posted on February 4, 2010. Filed under: Man-Women Issues | Tags: , , , |

These days , it is quite common for two people who are unmarried to live under the same roof .

Some of them have stayed too long together until they even have children.They are like a family unit minus the legality or marriage certificate.

It was a taboo and shame in the olden times but people have come to accept this practice as a matter of fact in the new millenium.

If you are the traditional ,moralistic or religious type, it is wrong to do that and unacceptable and they believed it is a grave sin before God.

There are the pro’s and the con’s not only on religious or morality aspects but also on the perceptions of how the men would treat the women.

There is a nagging doubt within the women if she is doing the right thing or not.

Will the men respect those women ?

It has been found that most men in such a circumstance often tend to keep the status quo and do not register their marriages.

Living together have it’s advantages
They can cut or lower their cost of living.Two can live cheaper than one.

Moreover, it is like a trial marriage to see if they are compatible with each other.

In the long run , it is the women who will lose out as the men may get tired of them and then leave without ensuring any child or financial support to them.

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Why do women fall for those total morons or creeps?

Posted on February 3, 2010. Filed under: Women Issues | Tags: , , , , |

Women find them more exciting and appealing as compared to those good guys who are predictable , boring and unassertive.

They become a challenge to women ,thinking that they can change them from their wild ways.

Those bad guys are more macho , assertive and they go straight for the kill. They don’t beat about the bush .They openly showed their intentions

They showed their intentions early and give clear signals what they wanted in the relationship.
They do not want to be viewed as a friend but as a boyfriend.

While those good guys take too long and are too timid to move on a higher level.The girls will assume that you are not interested in them and give you up.

In any early relationship , the girls would be able to to tell in a few seconds if the new boy is a ‘friend’s’ category or a ‘boyfriend’s’ category.

Once she has decided, then the boy who is in the friend’s category will find the going tough..

Some women secretly want to be laid so bad but are afraid to be called sluts and their self esteemed is increased when they are desired sexually .It brings out the women in them.

If you are going fishing , you will need to learn the rules of dating. You need to take risk and show that you are interested in her and not just for the friendship or you will be treated like a friend and nothing more.

Bad guys may reach the first base but it is the good guys who will roam home.

A woman is not without her senses .Eventually , she knows which is the one for her .

There are guys who are just for flirts and fun’s only and guys who can provide them a financially and emotionally secure environments.

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Falling for internet love scams.

Posted on August 5, 2009. Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , |

It is only words but many women are taking in by those sweet promises of love and marriages and throw caution to the wind.

There is no free lunch in this world. If something looks too good to be true, most probably it is a scam or con job.

The bait is very enticing and most swallow it hook ,line and sinker. They are caught and only realized it when they have parted a substantial amount of money and received nothing in return .

Never part with your hard earned money no matter what. Don’t be a fool.Do not listen to all those sob stories or get rich quick stories because they only want to steal your money.Do not be too trusting .

This woman fell in love with a British man over the internet and was cheated of Rm20K.

The man told her that he is sending an engagement ring, a gold wrist watch, a gold necklace for her and her mother, a camera handphone and some clothes, £10,000 (RM59,207), a laptop and a rose.All she needed to do was pay the courier service fee of RM16,379.29.

If he can afford to send all those gifts, won’t you be suspicious if he asked you to pay the courier fees?

Would it not raise your suspicions that it could be a scam ? It is like informing you have struck the first prize lottery for XXXX millions and you need to pay the tax to claim it.

There are even internet programs that are used to lure those lonely women to get their personal details and then steal their bank or credit card passwords.

Some of those women not only lose their money but also conned of their sex.

In the internet age, it is better to be safe than sorry. Be wise and hold tightly to your money. Only fools will part with their money.

Reference and thanks to :-

http://news.asiaone.com/News/Latest%2BNews/Tech/Story/A1Story20090805-159224.html

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Runaway brides.

Posted on July 29, 2009. Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , |

Many Singaporeans and Malaysians chose to marry foreign Vietnamese brides because they are not as demanding and materialistic as the local brides. Some of them are ethnic Chinese, born and bred there.

Most of those middle age bachelors are from the rural heartlands because it is difficult to seek a wife, as many girls have migrated to the larger towns to work.

Vietnamese brides are simple and hardworking people and they can accept whatever conditions in their new country .

Those living near the border with Thailand would marry Thai girls.

Everything will be fine at first but marriage is not easy when they come from vastly different cultures and sometimes may not be able to communicate with each other except with sign language.

When they don’t get what they wanted from their spouse, those women may take whatever is available and abscond .

It is better than the poverty which they faced back home.They came from a war torn country and faced lots of hardships during the war.

Marrying outsiders offers them a chance to escape from their poverty or a life of prostitution to survive .

They will go to those matchmaking companies who will arrange the Vietnamese girls to come over and if they like what they see, the deal is done.

It is like the traditional customary practice,where you only get to see her for a short while and agree to marry her. You will only know the real person when she becomes your wife.

The matchmaking companies will not guarantee or vouch for her character or background.

She maybe tainted goods and you will be unlucky if you chose the wrong one.

Marrying a mail order bride is not without risk. Those brides could still be married in their home country or not legally divorced or in some sort of emotional entanglements with their ex’s.

Those foreign brides may run back to their own country and you will not be able to trace them . Even if you can trace them , there is nothing you can do about it.

Those men should check the girls background but it is easily said than done because it would incur a large amount of money to hire PI’s.

Even some of them have to pay by installments to those matchmaking agencies.

They can only hope for the best or they will never marry in this life.

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I am tired of being a man ,I want to be a woman again.

Posted on July 22, 2009. Filed under: Family Issues | Tags: , , |

Do you sometimes feel like you are the man in the house ?

You make all the major decisions and pay for everything in the marriage .Your man appears to only piggy back on your back and adding to your problems.

You want him to pull his weight in the relationship but he seems to be oblivious of your feelings and discontentment’s.

Instead of being understanding and helpful , some men may even constantly criticize , complaint ,emotionally abuse and have a higher expectations from her.

The journey is long and you can get tired and you need to rest sometimes and expect him to carry you when you feel weary and weak.

You are tired of carrying all those burdens on your shoulder and want him to help lighten them.

You maybe paying for half of everything in today’s marriages and in some cases, you may even pay for everything.

After paying for so many things , you expect some gratitude from him but instead you feel lousy about his selfish behaviour and would have preferred if he showed some understandings about your needs and learned how to nurture and take care of you .

You feel that you have given a lot to the relationship but he only knows how to take but does not know how to give in return.

Blame it on their mothers who pampered them and did not train them properly.

It can be very weary carrying the whole world by yourself all the time and sometimes , you need to rest and allow him to help you but help is not forth coming.

You think of your parents time when the man is the sole provider and the woman the house minder. The gender roles were distinct in those times.

With women getting higher educations and better paying jobs, the role of women in our society has taken on a different role. They are now the breadwinner as well as the housewife.

Even though some men take on a greater role in the taking care of the child and home, a greater proportion of the household chores are still being borne by the women.

Women want equality and they want to prove that they are just as capable as the men in every fields.

In the process, they compete against men and men are confused with the new role of women in the society.

Today’s women act like men or assimilated some of his characteristics but yet want to be treated like a traditional type of women.

The modern women want independence and equality but deep down they want to be taken care off like a traditional women with the men paying for everything.

It is like having the best of both worlds. Some women reverted back and fro from the old and the new world whenever it suited them.

If she is from a lower paying job, her man would look after her but if she is from the other higher end, the man is not expected to pay for her upkeep.

The way to avoid these pitfalls is to work out the details before marriage or put a certain percentage of their incomes into a joint account for all those bills and mortgages.

I see some Christian couples do that and they have a very good relationship and money is not a problem or can cause any misunderstandings or bad feelings.

When you are in love, you just want to live together and do not want to discuss the nitty gritty stuff before hand. There could be serious troubles if you go into too much details.

If there is love, everything will be fine and you won’t mind paying for everything.

When the honeymoon is over and reality sets in ,you begin to see his faults .

He is not the golden God you worshiped and let him walked all over you but only a statue with feet of clay.

Related story,

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-pay-for-everything-myself-why-doesnt-my.html

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