Why does sex changes a relationship?

Posted on March 25, 2010. Filed under: Man-Women Issues | Tags: , , |

Can a man and a woman be good friends and not be sexually attracted to each other ?

Will those emotional forces be unleashed and run riot when they are together in the right place and time .

Will their humanly instincts of procreation’s come forth and take them to where they do not want to go ?

These are the questions where there are no definite answers. Some will succumbed to those emotional forces which they are unable to control .They do not know what they are dealing with .

Sex may mean different things to different people .But once when sex happens between two very good friends of the opposite sex, the relationship is bound to change

The men or the women would feel differently towards each other. It will no more be the same and they will be unable to revert back to the old levels of friendship.

Sex means commitment to some men. If they have sex with prostitutes, they know it is just a mere transaction.

If they have sex with their woman friend, it brings on a different meaning in the relationship.It changes the dynamics of a relationship.

He will feel the need to love, provide and protect the woman . This is just an instinct in men , except for those conman who are only after sex .

When a man have sex, waves of love will generate from him towards her.He will mostly agree to everything you asked from him after you have had sex with him.

Of course most women would not do that because it would feel like they are prostituting themselves.

Even though men are not as emotional as women , they have emotions too. Sex brings on a different emotions to them.

They will have to ponder if they want to stay at his level or commit themselves to the woman.

Yes! They are also scared that the women could be using sex and pregnancy to bait them into a marriage or commitment.

If you want to maintain the close friendship level , you should not cross the thin red line.

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Are you a doormat ?

Posted on February 27, 2010. Filed under: Man-Women Issues | Tags: , , , |

There are givers and takers but unfortunately, some givers give so much of themselves that people will take advantage of them and they will become doormats or people pleaser.

Usually, it’s not intentional , but it does happen.

You become a doormat when you agree to do something you know is wrong and/or don’t want to, just because they want you to.

You should be so happy to be around this person, that you go against your personal beliefs and feelings.

You let them walk all over you even if there is dirt on their shoes.

You really need to evaluate your relationship with him . It will not get any better but will only get from bad to worse.

Don’t be obligated to do for others because you are afraid they will get mad.

Don’t go out of your way to put your life on hold in order to cater to others, so much that you may cancel appointments or never have time for yourself?

Set out your own limits and boundaries.

Do not always conform to his opinions.Don’t keep your opinions and feelings to yourself.Air them out.

Find your own voice or you will be forever be controlled by him.The more space you give him , the more he will exploit it .

Understand what is wrong being a doormat. Don’t sacrifice your time and energy for something you don’t enjoy doing and treat yourself the way you want to be treated.

You are slowly being suffocated and he relished what he is doing to you .

You need to get out before depression hits you . You don’t deserve all those treatments.

Love should not have any pains .If there is ,then it is not love.

You will one day regret wasting your time and energy on a fool who does not deserve you .

Where is your self worth and self respect?

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A man’s word is not cast in stones!

Posted on February 26, 2010. Filed under: Man-Women Issues | Tags: , , , , |

A man’s word is not ‘cast in stone’ unlike God’s word.

What a man said is only valid at that particular moment or maybe 24 hours or 1 week and after that it is no more valid or has become inapplicable.

Many women kept those words said by men for 20 or 30 years and some till even their dying days.It is so dumb to believe those words said by man like the Gospel truth.

What they said at one moment can be forgotten in a few minutes or hours and they conveniently do not remember them after wards and go about doing their usual thing without a care.

While the women are carrying those hurts every minute of their walking life.
Those hurtful words are like arrows shot at their heart and remains there for eternity untill someone comes and take them away.

Words said 2 months ago does not apply anymore.Circumstances have changed and to know whether they have changed, you need to go there and probe him.

Breakups are common among the youngs because they are inexperienced and do not know how to handle those pressures.It does not mean that you are not suited or incompatible with each other.

In time , if they are fated to be together, they will make up again.

Breaking up does not mean that you will walk away forever from that person.There are many people who make up after they breakup when they realized their follies.

Relationship is not an easy thing and you don’t just lie on the bed and everything will solved by itself.

You need to have understandings , love and the capacity to resolve all those contentious issues.

People are not machines and they have feelings and emotions. They can be influenced and swayed by emotions and certain actions of another individual.

The ground is not always static for it can shift according to those external forces.

Sometimes ,what you hear or see is not what you get.

You not only have to hear what is spoken from the mouth but you also need to feel with your heart what that person wants or means.

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Would you marry a porn star ?

Posted on June 18, 2009. Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , |

Just weeks before her wedding,Haylie Hocking, 27, only found out that her fiancee, Jason Brake made adult films and she has canceled the wedding.

She discovered his secret when her friends organized a hen party and wanted to hire a male stripper. She stumbled upon a movie clip and saw him in a porn movie.

If you were in that kind of situation , what would you do?

Would you rather come clean before your partner and confess all your dark secrets rather than let them discover by themselves and all hell breaks loose ?

If you want to be fair to him/her, you should come clean . It is better before the marriage than after the marriage.

Most people dare not come clean because they are scared of losing their partners. They love them too much and losing them because of some foolish things they did in the past is regrettable.

If it was in the past, it should be forgiven .After all ,there is nothing one can do to change the past and what has happened.

I guess it wasn’t his day and they were not meant for each other.

It can come as a rude shock if you discovered that your soon to be married partner has a sordid past.

Will your love be strong enough to weather the storm in your life ? Can you forgive him/her and pretend that nothing has happened ? Will you be able to accept him and live with the stigma and shame?

It is a hard choice and many people will not be able to grant forgiveness nor accept those tainted with unsavoury past.

If she had known his secret and are willing to have a relationship , it would be a different matter.

Some people can fall in love and marry hookers, gigolos and porn stars .

These people are able to accept them because they love them as a person and what they does , is not important to them.

Some may accept them only if they are retired and some may think of it as a job . obviously , not everyone thinks alike.

Reference and thanks to :-

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/5549158/Woman-cancels-wedding-after-finding-fiance-was-porn-star.html

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Married to a Man and in Love with a Woman,

Posted on June 6, 2009. Filed under: Women Issues | Tags: , , , |

Living Two Lives: Married to a Man and in Love with a Woman is an interesting book written by suburban mom Joanne Fleisher.

Some women have a secret life or living two life’s. They are struggling to come out of their closet and have no where to turn to .

They cannot get any help from their heterosexual friends who may not know anything about this issue or from the gay community because they don’t feel a part of that community yet.

It is harder for a women to come out and declare that she is gay and once she comes out in the open , the marriage will be under intense pressure and will not last.

More often than not , they will have to go separate ways .No matter how accommodating her husband is , he cannot fill the role of her lesbian lover.It is not about him but her.

For such couples, there are three choices. Stay in the marriage and remain unhappy, stay in the marriage and carry out an affair or let him go and live your own life.

Most would select the last choice. They can still be friends as they are still the parent of their children. They may have changed but the love for their children will remain the same.

Once ,they come out in the open with their decisions, a big weight is lifted off from their shoulders. They are now free and unshackled from their chains. They will find their life peaceful and serene and will not be troubled anymore with their guilt .

Being gay can be a problem in some parts of the world or where the society cannot accept this concept. Even Christians are divided about gays.

I do not think that we should discriminate against gay Christians but to accept them whatever their sexual preference are.

Who are we to judge them ?

We cannot change them and only God can. We should leave it to God . To ban them or to have nothing to do with them is wrong.

How much do you understand about gays ? Most probably zilch!

Reference and thanks to :-

http://www.oprah.com/slideshow/oprahshow/oprahshow1_ss_20061002/8

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Marrying for money …

Posted on June 1, 2009. Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , |

If only life is that simple and we don’t have to face with making hard and difficult choices.

To marry someone who has money but no love or to marry someone you love but who have no money . Will love triumph over money ? This is a dilemma.

During the feudal era, a woman had no choice, she was given into marriage whether she loves him or not. She will have to accept her fate and her new role as a wife and mother of his kids.

The traditional marriage too shared the same characteristics. She will learn to love her husband after she gets married to him.

The modern women have been freed from this culture and is allowed to choose her mate for herself. Presented with a choice, she would need to decide long and hard.

A marriage that is without love can be a very difficult union. She may enjoy a materialistic lifestyle but she would find an emotional emptiness or a lack of emotional fulfillment. A marriage in pursuit of riches will find other areas lacking. She cannot have it all.

Later she may find that she is just a trophy and maybe traded in for a younger model. Her husband could be the controlling type who will make her life miserable.

Everything becomes meaningless and superficial .She feels like being imprisoned in her own home .

Being rich , he will have a higher standards and a higher expectations of you .It would be simply impossible to satisfy his whims and fancies and in time , he will get fed up and leave for a newer model.

Those who marry for pure love will be happier, contented and emotionally fulfilled. Even though they maybe poor,the love will sustain them and they will enjoy closer rapport with each other. As long as their love is intact, everything would be fine and marvelous.

There is an analogy about a marriage between beauty and riches and why it is never good.

Beauty does not last and it will fade and depreciate in value over time, while money can grow and appreciate.

When money is gone , beauty will leave because there is nothing more for her in that relationship. So too will he when her beauty is gone .

A union of beauty and riches will only last when those conditions exist and when one is gone , there is nothing to hold the marriage anymore.

Reference and thanks to :-

http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/relationships/article6365533.ece

http://thomashawk.com/2007/10/why-marrying-for-money-is-never-good.html

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IF YOU tell your wife she is ugly….

Posted on May 31, 2009. Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , |

Malaysia will soon be the only country in this world to persecute the men for telling their wives are ugly!!!! I do not know if other countries have this law yet .

You Malaysian men better watch what you tell your wives..LOL! She may carry a recorder on her to record your words and you are in the sin bin.

Malaysia’s director-general of the Women’s Development Department, Dr Noorul Ainur Mohd Nur ,said laws are being amended to reflect the seriousness of those remarks – when uttered by the husband in his attempt to humiliate his wife.

If the parliament amend the law and include this clause, those Malaysian men are in for a hard time. The Malaysian parliament consist of mostly men representatives and do you think those men parliamentarians will pass this amendment?

I suppose for now the only word is ‘ugly’ but later on may add more negative words to this clause…LOL!

Emotional abuse is not only about telling your wife is ugly,it is a psychological warfare where the men attempt to degrade and humiliate the women.

The methods of emotional abuse include causing fear by intimidation, threatening physical harm to self, partner, children, or partner’s family or friends, destruction of pets and property, forcing isolation from family, friends, or school or work.(Wikipedia)

With the modern technology , text and cyber -bullying became the new form of emotional abuse.

When some one is angry, all kinds of hurtful words just pour out from their mouth without any brake. You should not take to heart , those hurtful words because they don’t really mean it.

Some men continuously criticize you, humiliate you, or undermine your self-esteem. They come from an emotional abuse family system and do not know it is wrong.They were brought up in that kind of environment . How to blame them ?

Reference and thanks to :-

http://tnp.sg/news/story/0,4136,203560,00.html?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_abuse

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Why do so many men seem to avoid marriage?

Posted on May 23, 2009. Filed under: Man-Women Issues | Tags: , , , |

“A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.”

That sums up the difference on how each sex view marriage.

Before a man is ready for marriage, , he would need to have a stable job, healthy , psychologically and mentally conditioned for marriage , wealthy enough to afford the wedding receptions and be ready to give up his Wild, Wild ,West ways .

In some cultures, it is the woman’s side which provide the groom with dowry’s or pay for the wedding receptions.

Money is the chief impediment to being married. Everything needs money and when you live by yourself , you will find that every single thing will have to be bought .When you were living with your parents, you need not spend a single cent . Everything you need was provided by them. How life with one’s parent is such a bliss!

Being married to a girl , means that he will have to give up part or all of of his freedom or independence , sharing his decisions and taking on an increased in the responsibilities of a spouse, ,children and home.He becomes the provider .

The traditional women and some modern day liberated women does not realize that burden as they come to expect the guy to bear that responsibility and it is his job. Some of them take it for granted.

To a working women , she can always quit her job anytime when she does not feel like working or if she was fired from her job. She has no problem with that as she can always depend on her husband to support her. To her, the job is just a temporary stop gap measure.

The men do not have this choice. They have to work till they are old or cannot work anymore.

If they are single , they do not have to worry about the family or home or kids and can just spend their life anyway they want.

When a woman marries, she is likely to focused on herself , her wants, wishes, dreams and desires. He is like her passport to a great life and assumes that he will share her dreams as well.

Today, women are working and the household expenses are lightened by her contributions. Some husbands pay for all the bills but do not give her any allowances since she is working .

Basically what she makes, she spends on herself or on the kids and only grudgingly help pay the bills when the husband is broke.

There are many obstacles in a man’s path to matrimony.If money is not a problem , there is the problem of her.

Will she be a good mother and wife and make his life worth living ?

Will she be like those high maintenance type? They worries about not being able to afford the good life for her and provide her with the luxuries of life.

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He wanted her to return the gifts and money

Posted on May 21, 2009. Filed under: Man-Women Issues | Tags: , , |

Man demands ‘break up fee’s’ from ex girlfriend and for all those gifts and money spent on her. Otherwise he would upload her naked pictures and sex videos online.

What a cheap sauerkraut and low life creature !

She reported to the police fearing the man would make good his threat.

This is a very unfortunate incident and she has only herself to blame .

Why did she agree to have her naked pictures and sex videos with him?

She put herself in a disadvantage position and open herself to blackmail.It is easy to take pictures with the camera phone and video .

Sometimes, one party may secretly video the events without the other party aware of it.

Such happenings are very common these days with all those mini spy cameras.

These days whenever you are in a public place or even in somebody’s home , you will have to be careful when you are changing your clothes or naked. Check the mirrors and for any suspicious looking objects .

When you are on good terms , every thing would be hunky dory but human relationship is a complex matter. There are ups and owns in any relationship.

Today a friend but tomorrow an enemy or vice versa.There are the good times and there are the bad times.

You should always protect your interest and never compromise your integrity and welfare. It is a mistake many girls do not realize that the good times may not always last.

When the relationship is over after you have tried your very best to salvage it , you should come to terms with it and move on.

For some girls, they would return his things or throw them away and be not reminded of him . He is history.

For a man to demand back his money, gifts and a break up fee’s is ungentlemanly and down right obnoxious and repugnant.

He should cut his losses and vamoose from her life.There is no honour and it would only bring more shame and discredit to his name.

Let her go ,for the anger in your heart burns you more than her.

Reference and thanks to :-

http://news.asiaone.com/News/AsiaOne%2BNews/Crime/Story/A1Story20090521-142838.html

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The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.

Posted on May 14, 2009. Filed under: Man-Women Issues | Tags: , , |

Cooking to please your man seems like an outdated concept which rightly belongs to your great ,great grandmother’s time or the dinosaur age . Is it a grandmother’s tale or a myth?

With the modern day feminist , they do not even cook for themselves as they can enjoy all kinds of foods that are available in their society.

There are all kinds of prepared ,instant and fast foods which just needed to warm up and ready to be eaten.

These fast foods are less nutritious and fattening , contributing to the obesity problems world wide. Home cooking is the best as it is clean , nutritious and wholesome.

Most young girls have no inclinations to learn cooking and the secret family recipe’s from their mothers will soon be lost forever.

Most of us grow up loving our mother’s favourite cooking’s . The men would expect their wives to be an extension of their mothers personalities and hence would do the cooking .It is an expectation of her gender roles in a family.

Some women are just lousy cooks and it is their fate that they sometimes marry those men who loves cooking or are ‘chef ‘materials.

The smart and intelligent women would know that cooking is a skill , she would need to perfect it in order to capture the man’ heart in the long run.

People may change in time but the ability to enjoy good food will never change.

It can add more value to her appraisals and appreciations when she can cook as well as looking beautiful and charming. It is a double bonus.She is pretty and edible too…LOL!

With the present credit crunch, eating out is not always practical and the ability to whipped up a cheap , nutritious and delicious meal is an asset.

Not everyone believes in this adage that the way to a man’s heart is through the stomach.

It may take more than just cooking and food ,for true love is more than that. It would depend on the type of guy you shack with.

Good woman, good food and good wine will make an endearing and romantic interlude.

A woman who can cook better is a plus plus than a woman who cannot cook.Period!

Related topic.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1181378/Want-woo-dishy-man-Let-make-crumble-suggestion–A-new-book-reveals-cook-way-mans-heart.html

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