Handling disagreements

Posted on February 22, 2010. Filed under: Man-Women Issues | Tags: , , , |

Life is not without problems . If life has no problems then life is too boring and unchallenging.

Relationships have it’s up’s and down’s and men and women are different creatures from different planets.

Conflicts appear even if the relationship is great. Sometimes it is inevitable for misunderstandings to appear. They may be related to money, spare time, friends, family or career.

You need to know how to handle those problems or you will be in for a very hard time.

Sometimes ,the problem cannot be solved there and then. Your stands could be rigid or you do not give ways or want to compromise at the heat of the moment.

You should take a time out and let things cool down abit before you can become rational and ready to talk.

If you have anger, it is not wise to talk because harsh words would be spoken and you may regret it.

Don’t pressure a guy because most guys are not good at expressing themselves.

He maybe standing on the edge of the cliff at that particular moment and you may tip him over.

He could lose control and lash out physically at you . Guys are brought up that way. If the mouth cannot speak , the fist will do the talking.

Some women have a very loose or long tongue which they cannot control and this inability to reigned in their tongue may caused them injuries and in certain cases death.

They should know when to shut their mouth when they see their man are very agitated.

A wise, experienced and matured man would walk away from any heated disagreements with his partner.

You do not talk when you are irrational , angry or feeling hurt. When the other person is like being possessed, it is best to stop and walk away.

When you have cooled down, calm and your normal self , you will see things differently .

You should not seek instant solution or gratifications but to discuss it at another place and at another time.

Those heated and bias feelings would have cleared up and you could discuss it in a more rational and calm way.

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Will you live together (cohabit) with your b/f before marriage ?

Posted on February 4, 2010. Filed under: Man-Women Issues | Tags: , , , |

These days , it is quite common for two people who are unmarried to live under the same roof .

Some of them have stayed too long together until they even have children.They are like a family unit minus the legality or marriage certificate.

It was a taboo and shame in the olden times but people have come to accept this practice as a matter of fact in the new millenium.

If you are the traditional ,moralistic or religious type, it is wrong to do that and unacceptable and they believed it is a grave sin before God.

There are the pro’s and the con’s not only on religious or morality aspects but also on the perceptions of how the men would treat the women.

There is a nagging doubt within the women if she is doing the right thing or not.

Will the men respect those women ?

It has been found that most men in such a circumstance often tend to keep the status quo and do not register their marriages.

Living together have it’s advantages
They can cut or lower their cost of living.Two can live cheaper than one.

Moreover, it is like a trial marriage to see if they are compatible with each other.

In the long run , it is the women who will lose out as the men may get tired of them and then leave without ensuring any child or financial support to them.

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Beware The Office Piranha’s And The Crocodile Dundee’s!

Posted on January 5, 2008. Filed under: Social Issues | Tags: , , , |

The piranha is the dreaded South American carnivorous fish that can pick you clean in a few minutes with their razor sharp teeth.. They swim in a group and when they smell meat or blood, they will attack in a frenzy.

In the office, there are also piranhas who watch out for those bosses or high flying colleagues. They will attack and bite and they do not care if they are married or single. If you swim where the piranha live, then your life is in peril. LOL!

The piranhas will purposely get pregnant by you and you will be hooked for life or pay support for their children sired by them or if you did not meet their demands , they will set out to destroy you.. Pity those men who are weak and easily succumbed to those man killers.

When there is an office party and alcohol is flowing freely, the piranhas and crocodiles will appear and surface and woe to those men or women who have a tad too much and became drowsy. Here comes your friendly piranhas and crocodiles who would dance the whole night with you till you don’t know what hit you.

If you want to know, what an office piranha looks like, you can follow this link;-




Similar to the piranhas are the crocodile Dundee’s. The office maybe a good place to look for a mate but could also be a dangerous place for those who are married.

Not all offices will see a piranha or croc, while some offices will have plenty.

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Britney Spears “Blackout.”

Posted on January 5, 2008. Filed under: Family Issues | Tags: , , , , , |

Why are they so rigid and must play by the rules set by the court?

Surely, justice can be tempered by mercy. Can two adults not see eye to eye for the sake of the children’s welfare? Why should they use the full brunt of the law to dictate how a family live?

Those two people should settle amicably between them but instead had to go to court. Once when those lawyers took over, this is expected, everything by the book.

What is wrong if the mother wants to keep the children for a few more days? The children are in no danger. I feel very sorry for her for this guy is really so hard on her .Whatever they are fighting for, it is only the children who will suffer .

If you think of your children , you will never deny them of their mother’s love. There is always a compromise between warring couples but this couple has gone beyond reconciliations and want to fight to the finish.

A court commissioner on Friday gave sole physical and legal custody of the former couple’s two little boys, 2-year-old Sean Preston and 1-year-old Jayden James to Federline and suspended the troubled pop star’s visitation rights.

This is like a death sentence for any mother and it is worse than death. It is very sad and heartbreaking to have to come to such a decision. In some divorces, the man may threaten the woman and won’t allow them to see their kids.

Why is the man so selfish? They are immature and plain stupid to see beyond their shallow minds. They rather see their children grow up without a mother’s love. Their mind is full of revenge and want to torment their ex to no ends.

The children will miss their mothers and will cry day and night for their mothers. It will be a pitiful and pathetic sight and will wear the fathers or whoever is taking care of those kids. Some fathers just use their children as pawns in the battle with their wives. Sometimes, it is just about pride and ego or money and properties.

When the children grow up, they will seek their natural mothers. There is no way you can stop them. There have been cases of marrying across the international borders and separated children.

I think she should pull herself up and make things right and she will get to see her kids. Or fully concentrate on her career and know that her kids are well taken care by their father .It is like sending them off to boarding schools. Or get married again and have kids.

Whatever happens, it is destiny. Dig in and just hang in there! Winter will soon pass..

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The Alpha Women – Hunter Or Hunted ?

Posted on January 1, 2008. Filed under: Women Issues | Tags: , , , , , |

Should they be the hunter or the hunted? There are two types of hunters You can go after the prey with a gun and shoot them straight like a man or you can go and set a trap for them to fall in.

Women belong to the second kind. They lay the traps for the men to enter, hoping that they will be caught. Like the spider said to the fly,” Come into my parlour…..!”

Today’s men are more soft and more effeminate and laid back expecting the women to do everything for them, even in the chase.There is a kind of role reversal already in the process, where the men are becoming like women and the women becoming like men. Women has become more dominant and aggressive while the men are becoming more timid and shy.

They know what they want in life and when they have found success in their careers, nothing is impossible for her. She will do anything to achieve her aims even being coy about her income so as not to frightened off the men.(The Miranda complex)

If you are going to wait for the hunter to come for you , you may have to crane your neck till they are stiff and you won’t even see his shadow. Those that come into view would run away quickly when they realized that you are a T-Rex. LOL! From a far , you looked like a cute koala bear but when they are near , they can hear the roar of the T-Rex..(pee in their pants!)

They are head hunted by another kind, those business or corporations which want them to lead their organizations.

A man chasing a girl is like climbing Mt. Everest while a girl chasing a man is like going through a Japanese paper wall.”

When a man is chasing a girl , the girl will throw every kind of obstacles in his path when she has no love for him.If she likes him , all the doors will open for him.He will be guided by her through the labyrinth into her heart.

My reply to Hot Alpha Female’s posts on

The Modern Alpha Female – Atrracts Not Chases Her Ideal Man


Hi Hot Alpha female,

This is the best response I find among all your posts. There are many points which I do agree with you wholeheartedly.

[Girl! I don’t know why you say you don’t hold the same view as me because I’m not exactly saying that two people should be dependant on each other. I’m saying that it’s a bad thing if two people come together as half a person, try to get someone else to fill their own emotional needs.]

Thanks for your clarifications.There is no good or bad thing about wanting others to satisfy our own emotional needs.We are all different and there are some who are strong and there are those who are weak.We cannot blame the weak because they were born that way. Some people need a clutch to walk.

[Its kind of like a girl getting into a relationship because she wants to have someone to love her, because she doesn’t love herself. That I think can be destructive, because it can mean that she will date anyone and everyone who can fulfill that need, but may not be good for her.]

During the old times, girls were match made and they don’t date or really get to know the groom before marriage.it was only the words of the introducer or matchmaker to testify to the groom’s good character. Many olden day marriages were successful unlike the present when the divorce rate is up.

After marriage,they only develop feelings and love for each other. Fast forward to today , with premarital sex and live in couples, they would feel stale with each other. What is there to discover in a marriage when they have already eaten the forbidden pie? Nothing is anymore interesting to them.Sorry, if I seem to contradict your points.It is just from my perspective and you may not accept them . It is O.K with me.

[ I absolutely believe that we are not meant to go through this life alone and that everyone deserves a partner to walk through life with. I believe that loving another person in an intimate relationship, magnifies the quality of your life and is an absolutely essential part in having a full and fulfilling life.]

This is a sage saying from you .

[I believe that when you get into a relationship that you cant have the same mind frame of “yeah I’m single I’m independent, you are totally and completely separate to me”. I think that there is definitely compromise and adjusting, where two people kind of share something special and build a third entity between them, which is the “relationship”]

To have a successful marriage is to know how to compromise. You meet each other halfway or you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours. In most of the successful marriages , the men usually allow the women to make most of the decisions about the home and family. They will just go along so as not to cause any conflicts or disharmonies. What is important is she is happy.A happy wife is better than an angry wife. LOL!

[For instance in my case, I’m really looking for someone who has extremely positive outlook on life, is ambitious and passionate about what he does. Now as an Alpha female I would happily date someone who was earning less than me but who had those qualities. Because to me that’s more important than all the money in the world. I would not look down on him just because he is earning less money that me, but I would respect him equally and see him more as my match because its his characteristics that I’m looking for that equality for. If that made sense. I guess having someone who is already extremely successful and therefore may be making more money that you is attractive to me BECAUSE it shows that he has had the drive and ambition to attract that into his life.]

It could be a fallacy to think that a very successful man could be ambitious and passionate in everything he does. Some people just have the drive only when it comes to making money . It is a form of compulsive addiction. It consumes all their energies and there is nothing left for you .Nothing else matters to them. Not all rich men are interesting, only those who know how to balance their life. Money does not buy happiness.

The rich only want to talk about money and more money making opportunities. Other pursuits are a waste of their time . For time is money to them. The rich have no time for the poor people except for those who can give them jobs or contracts. I rather not rub shoulders with the rich. They love money more than anything. Their love of money is the root of all evils. Girls are just playthings for them to enjoy and then discarded. If you love them , they will think you love them for his money only.

Ambitious is a double edged sword. It can cut him or cut you .You want him to be ambitious and he can go overboard and neglect you. LOL! I don’t think living with an ambitious mate is fun. He works too hard and other areas of your life will suffer .

Passions is another quality which can misfire. You may think he has passion in his job but sometimes , his passion can be for somebody other than you . LOL!

Ambitions and passions are just a phase in a man’s life. It is like a candle burning at both ends. It will burn out faster and in the end, only love remains .For true love do not fade or die.

[Part in parcel of attracting the right man, is not focusing on trying to find the perfect man for you. I mean why would a guy want to be with you? What makes you so special? These are questions that I ask myself, so that I can stop focusing on trying to find someone that fits a perfect mould and focus on ME being the type of person that my ideal guy would want to date. In many ways that is a very empowering feeling.]

Why does a guy fall in love with a girl?

It is the physical attractions and chemistry. They are attracted to each other and then love blooms.

A guy would say a girl is good as long as she is not sluttish. Any other good points about her are just a bonus. Guys are just simple.It is not the guy’s problem.The final decision belongs to the girl.

[In the dating scene there is something empowering about letting a guy chase you. You of course do your best to attract him, but its more like a seduction rather than a full frontal attack. It also means that you know if a guy is really interested in you. I mean if he doesn’t bother to make the calls or schedule dates with you .. then hes not worth your time.]

It is not that the men are not interested , it is that they get conflicting signals from the females .Some of the females just put too high a price and expect too much from the men.The women’s attitude of waiting for the best man is the cause of her lukewarm feelings or uninterested demeanour. If she has the right attitude towards a man , then it won’t be a problem.

She would say .” OK! I want this guy and I will put my heart into it.”Rather than thinking of him just as a spare tyre to be discarded when the better one comes along.

After much back and forth,I think you are well equipped to net the type of mate anytime you want. No problemo for you!

If you have a problem , then you would have to scoop out your brains and come like little children.

Just as God asked us to come before Him like little children. Why little children? It is because they can be easily taught and receive new things unlike adults who who think they know everything but they in fact know so little.

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Going Fishing For Men.

Posted on December 27, 2007. Filed under: Women Issues | Tags: , , , |

Fishing is a predominantly male activity and few women are interested in fishing or find it an interesting hobby. They are only in it because of the influence of their boyfriends or dads. Otherwise, don’t expect a single woman to take up fishing as a hobby. The mere thought of those wriggly worms is enough to turn them off. LOL!

Women are only interested in one kind of fishing, the fisher of men. In fishing, you need a lot of patience and know where those fish live. You can fish in the ponds, lakes, rivers or the wide open sea and the deep oceans where those big fish live.

If you are a river fish, then you should look for another river fish. You don’t look for the shark or the whale. The Chinese saying,” Bamboo door with bamboo door and iron door with iron door.’ You should find your partner who is on your same wave length, same background and similar financial status. The Chinese are pragmatic people and marriage from the same class will ensure your marriage will last and not beset with too many problems which can cause a breakup.

You can go fishing in the lakes and rivers with a minimal cost, just a fishing rod while if you want to catch those big fish, you would need more capital. Hire or rent a boat for your fishing expedition.

If you are looking for a big fish, you will need to invest more on your beauty regimes and those expensive boutique dresses and accessories. Going to those high class parties or official functions to be noticed or being seen .You cannot be the plain Cinderella and expect the Prince Charming to notice you.

A woman needs to know what kind of men she wants and where to look for them. There are many types of men out there and she has to choose whether she prefers fresh water or salt water fish.

He has to be compatible with her personality or sometimes they are attracted to the complete opposite, the extrovert marrying the introvert and vice versa. When they are in love, it does not matter and after marriage, they will find they have many bones to chew on.

If you are fishing for a man, do not over emphasize on his financial side. As long as he can provide a comfortable life, that is reasonable enough. You will be looking for a man who will love you for who you are, warts and all, someone who can accept you even though you are not perfect. He will make you happy and be there for you when you are blue. He will be understanding, be considerate and will share your intimate thoughts and feelings without any bias and prejudices.

If you are looking for those qualities in a 20 something men, you will be sadly disappointed as most men of that age are like green horns and they need to learn from experience on how to treat a woman or understand a woman. Men are like rough diamonds. They need a woman’s touch to make them shine. That is why married men have more appeals than single and unmarried men.

A man is like an oyster, you need to place a small tiny bit of sand into his shell and he will grow a beautiful pearl for you. The oyster shell is not beautiful, but what is inside of him is like a treasure chest. It needs to be cultivated and incubated like the sand into a beautiful pearl. Your words and your wisdom will make him into a finer man.

By what standards do you judge a man? Will you judge him by the worldly standard or the religious standard?

Don’t expect the men to come in a nice present all wrapped up beautifully with red ribbons. Inside the present you will find only a lump of clay and it is up to you to mould them into a beautiful pot or figurine.

Like the fish you caught , you need to descale him (get rid of his bad habits) dress him up , add some spices, ginger and other ingredients and he would taste yummy. LOL !

If you are going fishing for this kind, you will need a good quality tackle and a strong hook and line ,so that he will not escape .The struggle to reel him in is the  most exciting part of the game. Good luck!If you catch any small fish , just throw them back into the water.

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Why Men Promise To Call But Won’t ?

Posted on December 8, 2007. Filed under: Man-Women Issues | Tags: , , , |

You meet some handsome and charming guy you like and you exchange pleasantries and he promised to call you when he is free. You wait and wait and the call never come. You wonder why he did not call you. Why do men say one thing and do another?

There can only be two possibilities. Either he lost or misplaced your phone number or he is not into you. A lot of guys will say they will call you out of politeness or social etiquette. If a guy is interested in you, he will make that call to hear your voice. Maybe , he is already taken by someone.

At that moment, they may be chasing another target and you are only on their reserve list. You can find out by calling them and if they don’t take up your bait, it is as good as throwing their names into the history bin and move on.

Fate sometimes can play a hand in meeting again. Cupid may shoot arrows and it may find the target this time. If you are interested in him , you could be where he frequents and give him more chances to know you .

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