Grandparents denied access to their grandchildren.

Posted on May 21, 2009. Filed under: Philosophy Of life | Tags: , , |

Many grandparents are raising their grandchildren at their homes .With the current economic depression kicking in , we may see even more grandparents raising their grandchildren .

The parents are retrenched or they cannot meet their expenses and had to fall back on their parents.

The increasing incidence of parental
substance abuse, child abuse and neglect, incarceration, divorce, and desertion are the other factors which culminated in the grandparents having custody and raising their grandchildren.At their age, they should be looking at retirement and a relaxing life.

Grandparents play a major role in their grandchild’s development. They can give their grandchild the loving and supportive start early in their life.

They are given a second chance at parenting again. With their vast experiences , knowledge and time , they would make better foster parents to their grandchild.

When their children got married, they may need their parents help to look after their child. Some may just require their help on a short term.

Some may have no choice but to leave their children totally in their care due to economic and financial reasons.

Most grandparents spend a lot of time and dote on their grandchildren. They have more time, patience and understandings than the child’s parents who are always too busy with work and other commitments.

Being a grandparent can be a joyful experience and very satisfying. By helping them grow up in a secure environment, the grandparents experience a sense of self renewal.

It is what keeps them young in thought and body.Usually the grandchildren is the apple of their eye and literally , they live for their grandchildren. They also give them emotional fulfillment.

When the grandparents are denied access to their grandchildren ,or taken away from their care, it can be very hard and inconsolable.

This comes about when the parents divorce and the children stays with the mother who cut off her ex and his parents.

Some grandparents may spend large sums of money to fight in the courts for access to their grandchildren.

There are others who may never see their grandchildren again or at the mercy of the child’s mother.

If they are good, doting and co-operative grandparents, the mothers should not deny them access .

Put yourself in their shoes and you will sense their frustrations and helplessness. There should be a compromise and respect for each other.

It is normally a rocky journey when the parents divorce and some of them can be very intransigence , unreasonable, irrational and do not allow the other parent or grandparents to have access to their kids.

Such shortsighted actions can be detrimental to the child’s development and the special relationship with their grandparents.

Why deny your child the grandparent’s love and support? Do not be selfish and think only of yourself.

If you sow bad Karma you will reap more bad karma. Do not use your child as a pawn to hurt your ex or his /her parents. You should try to compromise with your ex and do what is best for the child’s welfare.

I do not have much recollections about my grandparents. My paternal and maternal grandfather died when I was very young and I don’t know how they look and even do not know what is their name. I can only remember my maternal grandmother but there was no close bond between us.They did not play any meaningful roles in my life. This is really sad.

That is why , we need to change and become more involved with our grandchildren for theirs and as well as for our benefits.

To guide , nurture and to offer them lots of love and affections and to make a great difference in their life.

A friend is better than an enemy. It is wise and prudent to have a cordial relationship with your grandparents -in-laws unless they are from Hell.

They have done no wrong to you nor to their grandchildren and to punish them by denying access to your children is pathetic and terribly wrong.

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Do Children Bring Happiness ?

Posted on December 12, 2007. Filed under: Family Issues | Tags: , , , |

What is your purpose of marrying? Why do we have to marry? We all have different reasons for marrying. The chief reason why I want to get married is to have companionship and to have children .To know what it is like being a parent. We need to have children so that they will carry on ours and our fore fathers legacy. Children are a blessing from God. A marriage without children is not complete. The children are the bond between the parents. It is the fruit of the union of two beautiful souls who want to come together to live God’s way.

Can you imagine a marriage without children? There is no joy without children. How many infertile parents crave for a child and yet cannot conceive. How many couples have children but lose them before they ever grow up. This is a fact of life. Love your children and treat them well.

But according to a study, having children makes men less satisfied with their life, while women only enjoy motherhood once their offspring are packed off to schooll.

Having children is not without its sacrifice. They need to be looked after and cared for. No doubt caring for them maybe a burden but one in which I think is well worth the efforts and the sacrifice.

When we were small our parents took care of us. Now it is our turn to take care of our children. The man may not be satisfied with life especially when there is a newborn as the wife will devote much of her attention to the newcomer.

The man may feel sidelined and ignored but this is unavoidable. This the time when the man is called upon to exercise in his fullest capacity to love his wife and the newborn. It is the beginning of a new relationship in a marriage. He needs to make some changes in his life .I think children are a joy whatever age they are.

A woman will enjoy motherhood everyday as the children grow up. Each day bring other new dimensions into her life. Without those children, I don’t think there is any purpose in life except to work like a robot everyday. Sometimes I think I live for those children. Take them away and my life I would be dead and meaningless.

Between the ages of three and five, children made mothers less satisfied with life, while being the father of a child under five “significantly reduces”‘ life satisfaction.

Caring for a child from three to five is a back breaking job. This is the time when they start to run and learn things and still not being able to be trained properly in discipline. I don’t think the father will have any effects. Most fathers leave the parenting decisions and care giving to the mothers. They are not much involved in the growing up years. The most, they will just play with their kids when they are free.

Women with children aged five to 15 were happier than those who did not have children. Even children of school age brought no increase or decrease in happiness for men.

When they become teenagers, it is a different kind of worries. The mothers can communicate and bond with their children and form a lasting relationship in the early years. To see them grow up and bloom into good and matured adults is a satisfaction and fulfillment of parenthood.,

The study was carried out by the Institute for Social & Economic Research in Colchester, England, surveyed nearly 4000 couples between 1996 and 2003.

Do not be weary to labour for your children for when you are old, they will accompany you to the end of the world. I will walk with thee…to hold your hands and to carry you where you want to go.

Children are a joy, delight, happiness and pleasure. Nothing in the world is more valuable than our children.

The pitter, patter of those small feet is the best music no money can buy.

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Is Daddy Your Hero ?

Posted on December 5, 2007. Filed under: Family Issues | Tags: , , , , |

Many kids today just know daddy is their father and someone who is distant in their life.

Who do they look up to? Their hero can be anybody except their father. It could be some famous sports personality like Beckham or other famous football stars or singers or movie stars.

Children of today are growing up without the influence of their fathers. Their grand fathers may play a part in the child’s growing up years as they have the time to look after them. This is an unfortunate situation.

Fathers today are being away from the families due to work and work related matters and it is sometimes not feasible to take them along or stay near them.

Many families have broken down and are being run by a single parent. After the divorce, the children usually stay with the mother or even if the custody is given to the fathers, it will either be his mother or some other step mother looking after them.

I too grew up in a fatherless environment. My father is no more and has since passed away. We seldom see him and he was not close to us. Fathers should spent more time with their kids and be like their friends as they grow up.

You will develop a strong bond with your kids into adulthood. .There will be mutual respects for each other. Do not be judgmental with him but to help him up when he falls down.

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Do You Bribe Your Kids?

Posted on November 22, 2007. Filed under: Family Issues | Tags: , , , , |

 From small, our kids are imbued with the bribe culture. When they grow up, bribing is a way of life..LOL! You cannot blame the present generations for offering bribes to those coppers on the road.

Most mothers are guilty of this crime…LOL! What else can they do if their kids do not want to eat or do as they are told? You either give them a carrot or the stick. A carrot is much better than a stick. Surely, you cannot allow the child to belt out his karaoke talented voice till your ears are sore.

Children are smarter than before because they drink those milks which has every kind of ingredients, vitamins and added on’s ,they become babies with super intelligence.

Just eating the main meals may not be enough. We may have to give them a bit of everything so that they will receive plenty of nutritions.. In the process, we also give them some junk foods  and improved their stomachs efficiencies  and abilities to  to fight off those bad viruses and will not be easily sick.

Meal time is really a torture for some mothers. The children are  fussy eaters or the mother’s cooking is terrible …LOL! They eat all kinds  of things inbetween meals and those funny mothers expect their children to take the whole load  down.

 Their kids get tied to the chair while they become the torturers of babies.  If the babies do not want anymore, it means that they are full but most mothers are scared or starving their little kids and force them to eat until it comes out through the ears or nose..LOL!

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Lesbians-Test Tube Babies-Irrelevant Men

Posted on November 18, 2007. Filed under: Family Issues | Tags: , , , |

If those lesbians have their way , men will be irrelevant except as a producer of sperms or good for stud purposes only.

Children will be brought up without any male influence in their life . What kind of children will they be in the future ? Can you imagine a world where there is no masculine influence on the children?

They may look at other male role models but it is not the same as having a real father. Fathers play a big influence on the children’s developments. They grow up with a balance mind. Girls grow up and learn about men from their fathers. Fathers have a very special relationship with their daughters.

There are some cases where the children grow up without knowing their fathers because they don’t play an active part in the growing up years. These are the absentee fathers.

Can a state legislate laws to enable lesbians to become officially a single parent through the test tube process?Do you agree ?

From a moral and religious stand point it is unethical but from circumstances and pragmatism, the state has no alternatives except to legalize those test tube babies.

Many women are not getting married due to many reasons but their motherly  instincts are too strong to ignore. It should not be taken into context that those babies will grow up without any male influence. The other male families may become their extended families. To say that those children will be totally devoid of male influence or fatherly influence is erroneous.

Do those who oppose the law still lives in the Dinosaur era? Not allowing women to have test tube children is consigning those women to live a lonely and old spinster life ,not of their choice.

To marry or not to marry is a right of every women. Do not expect a woman to marry the first jerk that comes along . Or marry for convenience sake to have children and then divorce.

With many women marrying late or not marrying at all , the birthrate will fall and the country will soon be a nation of grumpy old men. Who will support them when the young are only few…..?Look at Japan and Singapore. They are encouraging the women to have more babies and give more incentives , otherwise the country will falter .

Those who opposed are just short sighted and not looking at the problems of the modern day women but only through their bigoted views from a religious and patriarchal point of view.

Let women decide their own future….

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