Will you live together (cohabit) with your b/f before marriage ?

Posted on February 4, 2010. Filed under: Man-Women Issues | Tags: , , , |

These days , it is quite common for two people who are unmarried to live under the same roof .

Some of them have stayed too long together until they even have children.They are like a family unit minus the legality or marriage certificate.

It was a taboo and shame in the olden times but people have come to accept this practice as a matter of fact in the new millenium.

If you are the traditional ,moralistic or religious type, it is wrong to do that and unacceptable and they believed it is a grave sin before God.

There are the pro’s and the con’s not only on religious or morality aspects but also on the perceptions of how the men would treat the women.

There is a nagging doubt within the women if she is doing the right thing or not.

Will the men respect those women ?

It has been found that most men in such a circumstance often tend to keep the status quo and do not register their marriages.

Living together have it’s advantages
They can cut or lower their cost of living.Two can live cheaper than one.

Moreover, it is like a trial marriage to see if they are compatible with each other.

In the long run , it is the women who will lose out as the men may get tired of them and then leave without ensuring any child or financial support to them.

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Working mothers count their blessings

Posted on June 25, 2009. Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , |

Everyone should count their blessings. Whether you are a full time housewife or a working mother , you should count your blessings and thanks God for those blessings.What you have and enjoy , others are not so fortunate and have not.

In this present world, being a full time housewife is a luxury only the rich can afford.

For the millions of ordinary women, they will have to work to put food on the table and to help their husbands to pay off those bills or send their kids to college.

One income is not enough to sustain a family unless you want to live in the rural areas or in the jungle and plant your own food and live a very simple and Spartan life.

There was a case of a Russian billionaire who gave up all his billions and went to live in the wild with his family.

The house had no electricity and no modern amenities. They felt more happy this way. His money brought him many problems.

People wanted to kill him or kidnap his wife and children because of his money.He had a large contingent of bodyguards and followed him where ever he goes. There was always danger to him and death lurks in every corner.

He got tired of this kind of life and gave up all his money and chose a simple life away from civilization.

Working mothers are thankful to others for making them able to hold a job.They are thankful to the baby sitters ,care minders or their parents,the teachers, neighbours and many others .

Every woman has the prerogative to choose their path. Whether they want to be a full time mother or a working mother. Each will have to make a sacrifice and trade off.

Working mothers should look at the positive side. There are so many things to be thankful about .

They get to have time alone .They get to have interactions with other adults. They earn a paycheck and have financial independence .They have an identity other than just a ‘mom.’

They set an example for their children to follow and the children can become more independent and self reliance.

Still has any regrets about being a working mom ? Time to move forward and don’t look back.

Related topic,

10 tips that work for working mothers – Family


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Do you fear being single ?

Posted on December 14, 2008. Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , |

You are probably so busy with your working life that you do not have the time to think about your single status and each day will pass uneventfully until you realized that you are knocking on the 40’s door. Time flies very fast.

The problem only manifest when you gather with friends or on new year or Christmas occasions and find that they have love one’s besides them while you have nobody besides you.

You may sometimes wonder if there is something wrong with you or that there is something wrong with the men .Could be that your expectations were too high ?

Maybe, you are just unlucky not to attract any man and you have resigned to your fate or destiny .Your failure to find someone is not because you have not tried but that you did not find the right kind of suitable man .

You will rationalize and justify your single status and think that you can enjoy your single life and can live without a man .You are now self sufficient and able to support yourself financially and do not have to depend on a man for your needs.

It is not by choice and you have witness your friends suffer from bad relationships and you fear to venture there.

We should not look at those bad examples but we need to look at the positive one’s. It is better to have love and failed than not to love at all. No one is perfect and we learn from our mistakes .

You should not have fear but to enjoy and be happy with your single status.
The more you fear, the more you will become desperate and this will make any man flee as fast as their feet can carry them. You would appear to be very needy and to most men this is a turn off.You need to be confident about yourself just as you expect your man to be confident too.

Having to taste the fruit of marriage is better than just looking at it from afar.We can overcome the fear of being single but what is the real meaning of life ? Are we like those worker ants or honey bee’s whose existence is merely to work and gather?

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A woman’s internal conflicts.

Posted on December 6, 2008. Filed under: Women Issues | Tags: , , |

The modern day women have been liberated from the shackles of the old feudal system and is allowed and free to choose her own destiny.

All bias and prejudices were removed and they were given the same rights as the men in those develop countries.
Women were no more chained to the kitchen or imprisoned in their own homes.

This freedom to choose her path to live the life she wants have given her a lot of headaches and heartaches. They are now playing the twin roles of a woman and a man and it is causing them undue strains , dissatisfaction and pain .

They are unhappy about their twin roles and this has caused them internal conflicts which paralyzed them and probably ulcers in their stomachs.

They have attained success in many fields but many of these single minded career women had to give up a family life and those that had a family life , found it lacking and unsatisfactory or unfulfilled due to their busy and heavy schedules.

Many of these new generations of career women would have to decide for a successful working life or to have a happy family or to juggle their life as best as they can.

How do you judge the success of a woman? Is it by her achievements or job or is it being the good wife and mother to her kids.

What exactly is a woman’s role in the modern society?

The traditional feminine roles and lifestyles have evolved and women today found that they not only have to excel in their work but also as a good wife and mother.

The traditional roles and stereotyping of a woman and her expectations are quite deeply rooted in our society. Though women have made amazing advancements through the ages,the men are still lacking behind.

Whether you are a stay at home mom or a working mom , it is all about perceptions and if you are happy and contented with the multi roles you are playing now , you should carry on and not bend yourself over somebody’s perceptions of an idealistic and successful woman.

Be happy ,for you only live once.

Reference and thanks to :-


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‘It’s Not Where You Live, It’s HOW You Live’,

Posted on August 17, 2008. Filed under: News | Tags: , , , , |

She is a 52 year old single mom ,Julie Oke ,who had to bring up 7 children on her own ,four of them are quadruplets, two boys and two girls. The quads have secured places at Manchester University, Goldsmiths, Queen Mary University of London and Cambridge. This is a testament of her hard work,will and her philosophies in life.

Today, many married couples are foregoing having children or they can only afford one or two. Raising one kid is too much work for them and cost too much in the present world.The rich are having fewer kids while the poor are breeding like rabbits.

Her eldest son is a doctor , a daughter is a nurse and another son is a lawyer. They would be able to contribute to her finances or otherwise it would be impossible to attain what they have today.

I have personally seen those families who are deprived ,having a very hard life but their children all grew up to become professionals . It is their environment which made them worked harder and study harder to better their living standards.

On the other end, those children from well to do families became just mediocre, and lack the interest to worked harder as they could enjoy all the trappings of a good life which money can buy.

There was no incentive for them to worked harder but rather they started enjoying those material things at an earlier age.Some of them got engaged into those harmful activity like drugs abuse.

Their parents could afford to send them to the universities even though they were not inclined or disinterested in studying. This is only my generalization and there are smart children from the rich too.

Being a single parent is tough ,let alone raising 7 kids. She did not ask for any help or depended on state benefits. She sacrifice and worked hard and her burden was very heavy and today she reaped the success from her sacrifices,blood , sweet and tears.

Compared it to a certain country where the people expected handouts from the government and they are not ashamed to receive those aids. They became a clutch to them and were like a disabled person .

I too came from a very poor family and my eldest brother did well to bring us all up. My father was only a lowly lorry driver and my mom had to wash other people’s clothes all day and night to make ends meet. All of us stayed in a rented single room and that was all we could afford.

Being poor did not prevent my father from marrying a second wife and having another 6 children. That makes us a football team . LOL! The second wife passed away and the 6 children came over and resided with us.

Today ,there is a company executive, a dentist, an engineer , an accountant , a nurse and two businesswoman in my own family. Thanks God for His blessings.

I believed it is not about material things in this world but the lack of it that will spur us to greater heights. It is not what you have but what you do with that little that you have got.

Reference and thanks to ;-


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Can You have Sex Everyday ?

Posted on July 24, 2008. Filed under: Man-Women Issues | Tags: , |

If you want to spice up your boring and dull sex life , you can make a pact with your spouse to have sex everyday . Try it and see what is your record of the number of days of having sex everyday. Throw the challenge to your partner and see if your love life and the quality of your life will improve for the better.

You may have to overcome some of your sexual inhibitions or sexual taboo’s. Many men do not relish having sex with the wife when she is having her periods. Some women may get more horny during her periods and there is no harm having sex . It is just some psychological and social taboos in some society which consider it dirty or unclean .,

A couple in the UK set themselves to the challenge of having sex for 101 consecutive days . Everyday , you will have to put aside some time and effort to share your intimate moments together.

Most modern working couples have every thing except either time or money or both. If you have kids, it is even harder to spare more time for each other. There is no time to speak or chat with each other let alone having the time for sex.

After they come back from work , they are already a spent force and all the juice is used up. All they want to do is to fall down on to the bed, roll over and fall asleep after doing some light house chores or putting the children to sleep.

The number of times you have sex in a week can tell the health of your marriage. Sex is like the barometer of your marriage health . The more you do it , the more healthy is your marriage . If you are doing it every week , your marriage is very healthy and strong. On the other scale , if you are only doing it once a month or three months or more , then your marriage health is very poor.

A study from the Kinsey Institute found 18-29 year olds have sex, on average, 112 times per year, while 30 to 39-year-olds manage it 86 times. Those in the 40-49 year old bracket do it 69 times per year.

You will have to explore and try out different ways of making love to each other . For you cannot do the missionary position everyday or you will get tired of it. You could try out some wild sex, kinky sex or try it any where except the bedroom. Wear some sexy outfits and use some sex toys to spice up the excitements and fun.

Be more adventurous and explore all those caves and nooks and make life more interesting . Everyday is not the same . There will be up and down days but no matter what happens, you must share your love intimately everyday and this is the best time of the day where you only have each other and nothing comes in between.

There will be times when you feel you are not in the mood for sex and so sex becomes a chore or a duty.

You are only human and have limitations .The quality of your sex life may suffer. You will be doing it like robots after sometime ; without much enjoyment and it may even become a tedious task and without any meanings.

Everything done in moderations is good and any thing excessive is bad for your health . The experience will make you a better and understanding person.

Can you go the distance ? Dare to take up the challenge?

Reference and thanks to ;-


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Don’t Marry A Career Woman Or A Lazy Man !

Posted on July 21, 2008. Filed under: Man-Women Issues, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , |

If you are a man , you will have to decide if you want to marry a professional career wife or a full time housewife. Women do not have to face this problem.There are pro’s and con’s and the men will have to decide which one will complement and enrich their lifes.

If you are a woman, you will want to avoid this lazy man because he will not want to change and will only want to live in his kind of lazy world where you are at his beck and call. He is mommy’s pet or a child husband.

These two articles are very informative, interesting and amusing to read and was published in Forbes.com. After reading them , you can form your own opinions whether which woman would make a good and better wife for you or who would you prefer.

Don’t Marry Career Women
By Michael Noer

Don’t Marry A Lazy Man
By Elizabeth Corcoran

This is not a simple issue but a very complex and controversial issue and there are no outright winners or losers.

Before you contemplate about getting married , you will need to understand what are your aims and purpose of getting married and the benefits you will enjoy whether you marry a professional wife or a full time housewife.

Getting married have it’s social and health benefits.You get to live longer with healthier life and well adjusted kids growing up in a loving family.

Which category of woman would you choose as your wife?

This will depend on your mental , emotional and psychological outlook of what you expect from a wife and whether you still hold dear to those traditional values in life.

Would you prefer the modern day wife or the traditional wife ?

The traditional wife is more preferred by most men because they get to control things and are treated better by their wife. They are like Kings in their own castle. The modern emancipated women would have no way with traditions unless it suited them and they will only chose those traditional practices which favoured them and reject those practices which debase or demean them to a second class citizen.

The modern men will have to change and adept to the modern women but sadly the men have been left far behind in their social and emotional developments .

If you do not know which one will make a better wife, go ahead and marry the one you love and not worry about if she is a professional or a full time housewife. Some day down the road, she may decide to become a full time wife and there is possibility if your career shoots through the roof.

Another interesting topic would be;-

Don’t marry a very beautiful girl or a very rich man.

That would be another day to discuss this topic.

Reference and thanks to ;-


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The Working Mums – From The Daughter’s Perspective.

Posted on July 16, 2008. Filed under: Uncategorized, Women Issues | Tags: , , |

To be a human being is not easy as some people find life hard and difficult. What with the cost of living going up and the pains and the pangs of the daily struggle to survive the rat race and to move ahead of the pack. Animals do not have to worry or care about what others think of them. They eat and sleep and survive on instincts.

Not only being a human being is hard but being a female is even harder as society expects alot from the females and they are always in the spot light and the criteria judging them is even more stricter and higher than for the males.

With today’s living standards , a woman is expected to juggle her hectic career and home and being not a super woman , many of them will have to choose either career or home or somewhere inbetween.

Somewhere will have to break if they decide to hold two jobs inside and outside the home. The children will grow up lacking the close touch and the special rapport even though they may have every material things or facilities which their parents can afford and provided them to enjoy in this world.

Society or the social prevailing conditions do not expect the males to perform the roles of mothering and bringing up their children.

Are material things a substitute for mother’s love?

Any tangible things cannot replace the intangibles. It is that something special or shared moments that cannot be replaced with those ‘extras’ in life.Those moments that are like priceless moments captured and frozen in time and forever etched in their memories . It is these moments or their legacies ,where we will always remember them when the other person is gone.

A career minded mum may never feel for the daughter’s needs or ignore them as she becomes obsessed with moving ahead in her career. She would override the daughters psychological and emotional needs in her upbringing.

These women have the luxury of choosing a career or a full time housewife. Others may not have a choice as they are too poor and have to eke out a living to bring up their children .

It is just like rearing battery chickens in cages. You give them the food , water and a place to stay and allowed them to grow up in that environment without the ever presence of the mother figure to teach, play and share their childhoods.

Being a mother is no mean and easy feat. She will have to depend on her intuitions and instincts to survive the rigours and walk through that difficult terrain which is called motherhood.

When their daughters grow up , they will find that there is no special bond or close rapport with them . When they were young, the mothers were hardly around or were around and then disappeared as quickly as they came into their world.

In Malaysia, many working couples who can afford to hire a nanny or helper , have an Indonesian maid to look after their kids and do the household chores. She is like a Godsend help to them to manage their lifestyle.

Since the mothers are always busy , the children spends alot of time with the maid and learns from her and becomes their pseudo mothers in some cases.

What happens when the children grows up?

In those formative years , they have formed an opinion of their parents and since when they were young , their parents were not always there because of their hectic schedules; when their parents are old and look forward to their children, their children will be like them too and having their busy schedules or the lack of inclinations and do not have the time to visit or entertain their aged parents. It is Karma. The chickens have come back to roost. You reap what you sowed.

You have struggled hard and given them a good life but have you ever thought that it is not all about money or things but personal human values and be there for them when they needed you.

Some of us may not be able to change history and have to live with our handiworks while others can still decide which way they want to travel.

I do not blame my mother  for not being there for us as we came from a very poor family and she had to supplement the income by being a washer women and she had  to slaved every minute of her  waking life to help put food on the table . We did not have a choice . We grew up and will always love her no matter what.

What do you want from life?

Reference and thanks to ;-


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Women Think Of Shopping – Men think Of Sex.

Posted on June 15, 2008. Filed under: Uncategorized, Women Issues | Tags: , , , |

IF suddenly all the women in the world do not do their shoppings, all the stores would have to close down and declare bankrupt.

Alternatively , if all those stores would be closed down , then women would brood all day and being unhappy and joyless.(This is just my generalizations only.)

Almost all their businesses derive from the women’s wants and needs.They buy for themselves,for their children or for their husbands, fiance’s or boy friend’s need.

Men and women are wired differently . For the women , they do not think of sex as often as like the men .They are said to think about it every 52 seconds, while the subject crosses some women’s minds just once a day.

Three out of four young women think about shopping nearly as often as men think about sex, according to a new survey by cosmopolitan.co.uk .

This is not shocking as women derives more pleasure and sensations when buying their most wanted new dress , handbags or shoes . They ponder about that new dress, hand bags or shoes every minute .

Some will develop fetish for them and their cabinets will be full of new dresses , handbags and shoes , almost bursting to the seams.They have so many dresses to choose from and yet they sometimes said they have no dress to wear for that particular occasions. All they need is another new dress specially for that occasion.

I told my daughter, if she finds any attractive new dress, hand bags or shoes , just get it even if the price is a bit steep or else she will suffer the mental torture for 24/7 and when she finally makes up her mind to buy it , that item could have been sold. Thereby adding more miseries to her life.

Most girls are dress,shoes and handbag addicts while some are make-up and accessories. They may buy on the spur of the moment or when they is a bargain sale. Women are addicted to shopping while men are addicted to porn.

Sometimes, they buy and they just hang it up and not wear or use them at all.Or they may wear or use it once or twice and then consigned it into their museum.

The men do not really understand why women would have more than 20 pairs of shoes and for some women , it can be a collection into hundreds and thousands. Same goes for bra’s, they are always buying and supporting and making those bra companies richer.

The only shortcomings for a girl is the lack of generous funds because her shopping maybe crazy at times and may go above and beyond her financial means. Spending her boy friends money gives her more pleasure than anything else.LOL!

Today , the modern women are earning more than the men and it is no more a problem. She can splurge most of her income anyway she deems fit.

Price may not be an issue with her, as long as it is the most sought after item. She may not feel it expensive and justify her rationale in possessing that item. She may even buy several of different colours to match her other accessories.

Related article

Shopping better than sex

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How To keep Your Man Happy ?

Posted on June 9, 2008. Filed under: Man-Women Issues | Tags: , , , |

Psychologist Dr Judith Meyerowitz believes that women should start treating their husbands like their pet dogs if it is a happier marriage they are after.

Before you want to marry, you should learn how to keep a pet dog first. After you have obtained the necessary skills, then you can graduate from the dog to the man.

It involves the same skills to keep him happy. It does not require much skill because those dogs are just simple creatures and if you treat them nice, you will get much pleasure from them. Just use your common sense and keep a spare bone handy when he becomes grouchy.

You should not always chain the dog or keep him locked up in his kennel or doghouse. He needs to have some freedom to exercise and do his own things.

You may not like what he is doing but the dog enjoys his own activities even if it appears to you to be silly. He may like going out with his friends, watch some porn, ogled at some other bitches, or whined about everything or anything in life.

Dogs do not know how to keep a neat and tidy place. They will mess all around and prefer it that way. There are certain places where you should not touch and just leave it as they were or you would incur their wrath.

They are not bothered by the aesthetics but by the convenience of where they can find their things at easy reach, and not hiding it out of sight.

They have a single-track mind, half of that mind is filled with trash and porn, and this caused them poor memories. Give them some leeway here and when they are happy, you will be happy too.

Dogs are brought up to think that food only comes from the female hands. They expect you to cook and care for them like their mothers.
Liberated dogs have better understandings and share the chores.

Those stay at home dogs are more chauvinistic and do not venture there except to expect their foods on a platter. They deemed it as their rights.

After you have learned those living skills, you need to make some adjustments because real dogs can be more fun than those pseudo dogs
The real dogs have no problems expressing their affections in public.

They may miss you when you are gone and would immediately rush to the door to give you a few licks and rub their bodies against your feet.

They do not play mind games with you or feel guilty when they did wrong. When they kiss you, they really meant it.

Finally, you can train the real dogs unlike those old dogs that cannot learn new tricks.

If you want to be happy with your man, treat him like a dog but do not expect too much from him in return. He may have ingratitude..LOL!

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