Will you wait to be wealthy before you can have a child?

Posted on February 16, 2010. Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , |

A child is a gift and blessings from God. If you are pregnant and give birth to a baby ,you are blessed.

Some people would plan to have babies only when they are financially capable.They want their child to have the best things in life.

They want to wait for all the conditions to be right before they want to have a baby but fate does not give them this luxury .

By the time ,they feel well off to have a baby ,they would have crossed their expired dates and they would use their wealth to get a baby by the IVF method or use surrogate dad and mom to achieve their aims.

In the process , how much must one accumulate enough to have a child? Is it really for the child or is it for the parents enjoyments.

Does this mean that those who are poor should not have children?

Having children is not about wealth or giving up the good life.

It is about the sacrifice and joy in raising them. A poor mother may work hard and suffer lower standards of living to support her child but she finds joy and fulfillment being a woman and a mother.

What about those people who are rich but are too preoccupied with their careers and have no time for their child?

Will having a child makes them better parents because of their wealth and materialistic wants ?

What good is materialistic things when you cannot give a mother’s love and spend time with your children?

Children do not need all those materialistic things but only those basic needs like love, care and concerns.

The human factor is more important than all those inhuman and materialistic needs.

If you feel it is the right time , by all means go ahead because it is your life.

It is just a matter of arranging your priorities in life.
Different people have different priorities.

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Do you value money and material comforts more than your family ?

Posted on December 23, 2008. Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , |

Are you a slave to the money God and the material God ?

We all know what is slavery and no one would like to be a slave .Yet many do not realized that they have been working their butt’s out to earn a decent living and providing for some material comforts to their families.

In their quest for wealth and material comforts, they have forgotten about their family values. They become like ants and work from dawn to dusk everyday of their life. There is nothing left for their wives and children .

Their priority is to make money to give their family a comfortable life and nothing else matters. They become workaholics and slaving at their job until they grow old and realize that their children have grown up without knowing them or their wives left them for another men who could shower more love on her.

Some men have the false notion that they need to be a good provider and everything would be fine.They expect their wives and children to take care of themselves and they forget that their wives are human beings and need intimacies and love.

Their life are lopsided and unbalance,for they concentrated 90% of their time to work and only 10 % to their family. Such an arrangement is unsatisfactory and will affect their families as they have neglected their wives and children’s welfare.

They may have provided the financial means to live a good life for their families but they have totally neglected the relationship on a personal level and human developments.

Marriage is about balance and you cannot devote too much of your time to career and a little to your family life. Both are equally important and to ignore one will be detrimental to the other.

They need to seek a balance so that they would have a balanced life, less of a materialistic life but a happier and closer knit family life.

Many thousands of Malaysians cross over into Singapore daily to work because of the good pay. They make good money but it comes at a high cost to their families.

Their wives are so lonely and depressed because their husbands are consumed by work and have no time for them. Their husbands are so tired mentally ,emotionally and physically that all they wanted to do is sleep and rest when they are not working.

They may even suffer ED due to their heavy work load and sex maybe unsatisfactory.The lack of intimacies may ruin their marriage. Some of the women may turn to others for their needs.

Children, deprived of love and affection, are the ultimate casualties. They grow up with an absentee father who do not have the time or inclinations to spend time with them or play with them or involved with their daily affairs while they were growing up.Some of them may mix with some bad hats and grow up to be delinquents in the society.

The cycle is completed when the father grows old and the son is too busy working and has no time for him or he does not care if he existed or whatever happens to him.

You may make more money and have more material comforts but is it worth the breaking up of your family or the poor quality in your relationship with your wives and children?

It is still time to change course if you are working too hard and not paying attention to your families.Money is not everything in life.We need to live a balance and fulfilled life

The love for money is the root of all evils and another may say the lack of money is the root of all evils. Whether it is the love for money or the lack of it , money does not guarantee you happiness.

In the end , for all your sacrifices and toils, you would be known only as an automaton or an ATM or automatic cash dispensing machine devoid of any personal feelings.

When you are old and useless, you will be send to the scrap heap because you are terminated and do not exist anymore.

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The Bigger The Family The Better …

Posted on August 21, 2008. Filed under: Family Issues | Tags: , , |

A new report concludes that children growing up in large families are happier and more successful.
Growing up in a big family is more fun and enjoyable than from a one or two child family.

In those days, people were not so fussy about their social status and there were not much distractions like those electronic and technological gizmo’s which kept everyone busy and when night falls there were not much entertainments and many parents entertained themselves resulting in the baby booms.

Today , speak about having children and many couples would shudder at the very thought of raising a child as it is quite expensive to support a child in the present times. They care about their social standards of living and having a child would lower their standards.

They felt that it was unfair to bring a child into this world because they cannot afford to give them the best .They have a wrong concept of life. Life is not about materialistic things.

As long as we can meet our basic needs like food and shelter ,we should be contented . If they chased after the asset trials, it will never end for they will want more and more and forget the real purpose of life.

With both parents working , they do not have the time or the resources to have children. Even if they want to have children , one or two would be all they asked. Anything more than that will be a disaster for them.

During our parents time, there were no such thoughts. The babies came year after year or after a short rest. There was no thought of contraceptions but to accept whatever was fated. In some religions , they believed that children are a blessings from God. In the Roman Catholic society , they are against contraception.

Those parents never had to think about money or whether they will have enough to eat or not. Some how or rather, there is always food at the table even though they may subsist on just gruel or just plain broth because of their poverty. They were happy even when they have so little material things.They wore tattered clothes or hand me downs and broken toys thrown away by those rich

As long as they have a roof over their heads and clothes to wear, it was normal living for them.

Today’s generations most probably come from a one or two family background and do not know what it is like living in a big family.

Most of the older generations or the parents of today’s teens grew up in a big family where more than 10 siblings are common.

There are always two sides of a coin but having a bigger family is more fun and more meaningful than a single child family. Children from a bigger family are more developed and balanced as they learned to live with each other at a very early age. They can develop better communicative and living skills. There are more benefits of having a larger family . There is the economy of scale and they only cost abit more.

You can survive because as a Christian, the Lord will bless you and your children and they will grow up anyhow whether you are poor or rich.

Reference and thanks to :-


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How To be A Great Mum !

Posted on July 27, 2008. Filed under: Women Issues | Tags: , , |

Mother & Child


Every girl would want to aspire to be a great and perfect mum after they have married and have kids. We may not know the hows or the whats but we will use our motherly instincts and intuitions whenever we encounter any problems.

We will dig here and there and ask our mothers,aunties, relatives and friends for advice or go online to research on this topic to overcome any imperfections of our career in motherhood.

We will try our very best and being a mum can bring on the tears, sweat, sacrifice , happiness ,joys and sorrows.

I came across this site which gave 12 awesome tips for being a great mum.

Stay true to yourself.

Being a mum can be a very hard breaking and unending task . You are expected to take care of the children single handedly without much help from your partner. If he can lift a hand and lighten your load, your life would be much better. You would be able to rest your tired body and be able to recover from the rigours of motherhood.

The men should try to help their partners whenever they can and understand their sometimes neurotic and erratic behaviours and also from certain times of the month when they are not their usual self.

Taking care of kids can be very stressful. It is a tough job bringing up kids and most men may not even stand or last an hour taking care of the baby alone.

Your whole life will now revolve around the children and you may not find the time to do those things that you like. Being single and being a mother are two different worlds apart.

Your single life or freedom to do whatever you wanted is a luxury or privilege which you do not enjoy anymore .Every second and every minute, your mind is always thinking of your children.

Don’t try to be perfect.

You are wasting your energy if you try to control your life and do things in a perfect way. When the children comes , your life will not be the same again . It will get more messy and crazier because you do not have the time and energy to make your life perfect. You would probably looked disheveled , with sunken cheeks and black rings around your eyes from the lack of sleep and exhaustions.
Accept things as they come and forget what other’s will think of you. You will look like a survivor from a war zone..LOL!

There is this beautiful prose of before and after you became a mom I found online .

Before I was a Mom.

Before I was a Mom…
I slept as late as I wanted
and never worried
about how late I got into bed.
I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.

Before I was a Mom…
I cleaned my house each day.
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn’t worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom…
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on. Spit on. Chewed on. Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom…
I never held down a screaming child so that doctors could do tests.
Or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom…
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn’t want to put it
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn’t
stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom…
I didn’t know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn’t know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn’t know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn’t know that something so small could make me feel so
important and happy.

Before I was a Mom…
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to
make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the
wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn’t know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom.

And before I was a Grandma…
I didn’t know that all those “Mom” feelings more than doubled!

Author Unknown

There is a lot to discuss on this topic and you can go to the link below to read all those awesome tips to be a great mum. I could ramble on and on with my experience and it could bored you to death..LOL!

Reference and thanks to ;-

How To Be A Great Mom – 12 Awesome Tips
by Vered of MomGrind.


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Surrendered Wife?

Posted on June 29, 2008. Filed under: Women Issues | Tags: , , |

In America, they are called Surrendered Wives – a phrase that was coined by relationship guru Laura Doyle. Basically , it means to revert back to the old age practice where women are submissive to their husbands.

The role of women and the men as defined by our beholden culture since the ages where woman was the caregiver and the house keeper and man the breadwinners.

This is unlike the movie,’ The Stepford Wives’ where a chip was implanted in them to control them and do what the men wants.

The modern ,liberated and emancipated women are running themselves ragged by working the dual role of the sexes. It is very taxing as compared to her mothers generations where she only has to do the house keeping’s and looking after the kids. In her time , the roles were distinct and divorce was unheard off or rare.

Women are not super beings and many of today’s modern women are too tired and overtaxed by their multi facet roles which they have imposed on themselves or were caught in the new waves of feminism.

It did not grant them the happiness they seek but instead beset them with myriads of problems in their marriage. The traditional marriage is beginning to look more appealing to many modern day females.

A growing number of career women are sacrificing their salaries to stay at home and devote themselves to their partner and raising a family. They will have less stress than holding two jobs which can pull them in opposite directions. They find fulfillment as a wife and mother and are contented and happy.

It is an idealistic situation but with today’s world where one breadwinner is not enough , both will have to work to maintain their lifestyles . If he has a big fat pay , then it is easier to give up one’s career to become a surrendered wife.

If you do meet the right guy, it will be such sweet surrender . While for many who do not have this luxury , it would be better to continue to work for one’s own security and peace of mind.

Do you think this is simply a crazy idea after what you went through the University  to obtain a degree and let it all go to waste?

Reference and thanks to :-


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Britney Spears “Blackout.”

Posted on January 5, 2008. Filed under: Family Issues | Tags: , , , , , |

Why are they so rigid and must play by the rules set by the court?

Surely, justice can be tempered by mercy. Can two adults not see eye to eye for the sake of the children’s welfare? Why should they use the full brunt of the law to dictate how a family live?

Those two people should settle amicably between them but instead had to go to court. Once when those lawyers took over, this is expected, everything by the book.

What is wrong if the mother wants to keep the children for a few more days? The children are in no danger. I feel very sorry for her for this guy is really so hard on her .Whatever they are fighting for, it is only the children who will suffer .

If you think of your children , you will never deny them of their mother’s love. There is always a compromise between warring couples but this couple has gone beyond reconciliations and want to fight to the finish.

A court commissioner on Friday gave sole physical and legal custody of the former couple’s two little boys, 2-year-old Sean Preston and 1-year-old Jayden James to Federline and suspended the troubled pop star’s visitation rights.

This is like a death sentence for any mother and it is worse than death. It is very sad and heartbreaking to have to come to such a decision. In some divorces, the man may threaten the woman and won’t allow them to see their kids.

Why is the man so selfish? They are immature and plain stupid to see beyond their shallow minds. They rather see their children grow up without a mother’s love. Their mind is full of revenge and want to torment their ex to no ends.

The children will miss their mothers and will cry day and night for their mothers. It will be a pitiful and pathetic sight and will wear the fathers or whoever is taking care of those kids. Some fathers just use their children as pawns in the battle with their wives. Sometimes, it is just about pride and ego or money and properties.

When the children grow up, they will seek their natural mothers. There is no way you can stop them. There have been cases of marrying across the international borders and separated children.

I think she should pull herself up and make things right and she will get to see her kids. Or fully concentrate on her career and know that her kids are well taken care by their father .It is like sending them off to boarding schools. Or get married again and have kids.

Whatever happens, it is destiny. Dig in and just hang in there! Winter will soon pass..

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The Best Christmas Present From God.

Posted on December 20, 2007. Filed under: Family Issues | Tags: , , , , |

He was given up for adoption when he was small. His mother was too young to take care of him .Later she married and had two other children.

Every year she would think of him when it was around his birthday. The pain and hurt it brings can only be realized by those mothers who have lost their children.

It can be heartbreaking to think of your children whom you have given away and sometimes you regret or have remorse .You may meet him later in life or you may not have the opportunity.

Even if you were to meet your children, so many years have past and so much water has flowed under the bridge. You cannot bring back those younger days .

Those are the forgotten days when you walked alone and with him only in your sweet memories. Memories of a cute little baby being the lasting impression which you will never forget.You wonder what he would look like now.Would he be like his father or is he very handsome?

You can never totally sever your ties with your children even if you have given them away for adoption. You will think of your child or be reminded about your child when you see other children. That is as much as you can do as you have no idea where he is at the present.

Fate can be kind and her son who works in the same company made a search for his biological mother and found that she is the chief cashier in the same company. It was a perfect present for them. God reunited them.

Merry Christmas to Steve Flaig and your mother Christine Tallady in Michigan, USA .May God bless the both of you !


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Child Beaten With Broom Till Broken Into Two..

Posted on December 20, 2007. Filed under: Family Issues | Tags: , , , , |

She is now an angel in heaven where all nice and innocent girls go. She is gone and no more. You may cry and shed all your tears and she will never come back again.

A precious little bundle of joy but you did not know how to treasure her and instead you used your adult judgment upon a little tot who is just innocent and curious. You let your rage and anger destroy a precious life and her departure will torment you for the rest of your life. You do not know how to love and take good care of your children .In your heart, there is now emptiness and remorse.

We should never beat our child with any instrument like a broomstick. They can injure their internal organs and may kill them. Even if you beat them with your bare hands, you as an adult can also feel the pain, much less the child who has thinner skins.

Children do not know what is right or wrong. Sometimes, they are curious and they discover and learn about new things everyday. You may think they are mischievous but they are having their kind of children’s fun.

Children like to play and unless it is not dangerous, we should let them learn and play. It takes time, patience and many reminders before they can learn something. Their minds are growing and it need more time and at their own pace. No two children are the same. We cannot hurry them to grow faster.

Love them and treat them gently. They will grow up and learn from their mistakes. Just treat them with soft glove and let them be little children. They will go though all those phase of childhood a step at a time.

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How To Be Happy With A Man Or Woman.

Posted on October 27, 2007. Filed under: Man-Women Issues | Tags: , , , , , |

 To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and try not to
understand her at all.

What is love and what is understanding?

To love somebody means to understand somebody. To understand somebody may not necessary be to love somebody.

When you love somebody, it means you love her for everything whether you understand her or not.

If you want to be happy with your man,you need to understand him which is easily said than done. If your man works 24/7, you would not understand why he works that hard and neglects you and the kids?

The women would say , all he ever think of is work and more work and like she does not exist in his life . She feels like she is just another furniture or trophy  to be kept by him and when he likes , he will give her a warmth pet or treat her like a sex  object and nothing more.

She does not see the picture, that it is because of her that he has to work extra hard to give her the spending power. She wants more money and more of his time which is impossible for any man. They will have to seek a balance or they should compromise and have a more balanced life.

He thinks of giving his family a good life by being a good provider  and offered himself as a sacrifice to the workaholic God.He thinks he is doing the right thing

But many men failed to realise that by working such long hours, they failed in their other social responsibilities like spending precious and quality time with his wife and kids.

They are growing up or getting older and time and tide waits for no man. Those times are precious, for you only go through once  in your life .

When the kids have grown up and have wings, they will fly away and you will have the empty nest syndrome.Your wife may also fly into some others warm arm  because your arm have grown cold or turned into lifeless stone.

Yeah! Try to understand that he loves you in his own way and it is only your fault if you do not address this issue of working too long hours and having a poor quality lifestyle.

Just like Peter Durose who gave up a high flying job to downgrade and to be with his family. Are you a master of money or a slave to money?

If you continue to make more money than you can spend , what is the point if you do not know how to enjoy life ? You are just like the million of ants who work till they die , a money making machine, a slave to time and money.


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Beware ! Couch Potato Husband .

Posted on October 27, 2007. Filed under: Family Issues | Tags: , , , , |

After you get married , it is not happily ever after like those fairy tales you read when you were small.

Marriage is not the way you envisioned it without taking into considerations of your other half who have her own visions of what a marriage is suppose to be like .

Her visions of marriage may not be the same as yours and you need to find out and listen carefully what she expects from you.

Many  naive men made the mistake that once they got married , their spouse would serve them ,cook ,wash ,look after the kids and do everything for them like their mothers  do.

They treat their wives as an extension of their mothers.This explains their general  attitude  towards their wives.They are so used to taking and not giving back. They get pampered by their mothers and expect their wives to do the same towards them.

Many wives are left high and dry by their men’s  selfish attitude and they could not change their men’s mindset. Men think that after marriage, their wives would serve them forever .They think that they have done their part by bringing home the pay cheque and that’s the end of it.

They then sit back and expect their wives who may be a full time housewife or working wives to  serve and attend to their needs or all those household chores are  solely the women’s  responsibilities.

 He becomes a couch potato and watch T.V most of the time or read the papers and have no time to talk to her.He talks to her in monosyllables or grunts unlike before when he was romancing her and paid her much attentions.

They take each other for granted, for life has  fallen into a boring and monotonous routine.He does his things and she does hers.

People can change over time. Everyday is a different day and as you get older, your views also changed. Sometimes the men who sit infront of you everyday is like a total stranger .

Women seek love and emotional attachments and they like to please their husbands.

They want to be told that they are needed and their contributions  play a very important part in their husband’s life or in their family.

A praise here and there tells her that she is doing the right thing and have the attention and love of the husband.This build up their self esteemed and confidence and will make them happy.

Many a beautiful women upon married  becomes  sad and cannot smile anymore because of the treatment of their spouse. Those men did not know how to please their wives and instead make her felt worthless and a burden.

.Many husbands are misers when it comes to giving  praises  but criticisms and complaints comes forth from their mouth unceasingly .They want their wives to be perfect while they are slobs and  their double standards. 

 Giving praises is like giving a sweet to a kid.His face would light up and his happiness bubbles forth. If you give a praise a day to your wife, you will make her happy and you don’t need all those  cosmetics to make her young and happy. Be genuine and don’t flatter her.

It is only words and it does not cost you a single cent but the right words spoken at the right time and right place is like honey, it’s sweetness can melt even the most critical and hardened heart.

Be generous in your praises and miser in your criticisms and complaints. Don’t criticise and complaint is the best policy. Do unto others if you want others to do unto you.

Check and see if you have become a couch potato or that you have been inattentive to your spouse . Your spouse is like a plant and need sunlight to grow healthy and happy.

Otherwise, your plant will grow towards another sun which shines on her way.

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