Handling disagreements

Posted on February 22, 2010. Filed under: Man-Women Issues | Tags: , , , |

Life is not without problems . If life has no problems then life is too boring and unchallenging.

Relationships have it’s up’s and down’s and men and women are different creatures from different planets.

Conflicts appear even if the relationship is great. Sometimes it is inevitable for misunderstandings to appear. They may be related to money, spare time, friends, family or career.

You need to know how to handle those problems or you will be in for a very hard time.

Sometimes ,the problem cannot be solved there and then. Your stands could be rigid or you do not give ways or want to compromise at the heat of the moment.

You should take a time out and let things cool down abit before you can become rational and ready to talk.

If you have anger, it is not wise to talk because harsh words would be spoken and you may regret it.

Don’t pressure a guy because most guys are not good at expressing themselves.

He maybe standing on the edge of the cliff at that particular moment and you may tip him over.

He could lose control and lash out physically at you . Guys are brought up that way. If the mouth cannot speak , the fist will do the talking.

Some women have a very loose or long tongue which they cannot control and this inability to reigned in their tongue may caused them injuries and in certain cases death.

They should know when to shut their mouth when they see their man are very agitated.

A wise, experienced and matured man would walk away from any heated disagreements with his partner.

You do not talk when you are irrational , angry or feeling hurt. When the other person is like being possessed, it is best to stop and walk away.

When you have cooled down, calm and your normal self , you will see things differently .

You should not seek instant solution or gratifications but to discuss it at another place and at another time.

Those heated and bias feelings would have cleared up and you could discuss it in a more rational and calm way.

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My Parents Fight Everyday …

Posted on October 13, 2008. Filed under: Man-Women Issues | Tags: , , , |

It is very sad when you are a young child or teenager and see your parents fighting everyday like cats and dogs.There is no love lost between them and everyday they cannot keep the peace and must fight in front of the children.

As children , there is nothing much they can do about the war between their parents. It is best that they do not take sides and stay away and not witness the acrimonious fight which could escalate into violence and in some cases leading to critical injuries or death .

Children do not understand the issues of grown ups and should let their parents work out their differences. Sometimes it is due to too much stress from working too long hours and they have no outlet to de stress. Their feelings and emotions are on tender hooks and would fly off the handle on slightest fault or provocations. They will regret later but the harm is done.

There are some parents who lose control of their emotions, kill their young children and then commit suicide. This is very tragic and we can read such news often. They should seek help or counseling if they think they are unable to handle those life issues.

The parents should not fight in front of their children as this will affect their emotional and psychological upbringings. I do not believe in fighting and if you cannot stand each other or think that there is no more love , then you ought to find a peaceful way to co exist and if that is not possible , to live separate life’s. Better to be alone and happy and the children will not face those sadness when there is a fight.

I believe that the women should know when it is time to shut up and not stoke the fire in him. Being physically weaker than him , she would only bring it down upon herself if she pushes him over the cliff.

It is not that he wants to hit or beat her up but her non stop vitriol could be the cause of him losing his control and going berserk. This is when he cannot control himself any more and lashes out violently as he cannot argue with the woman who barrage him with insults.This is a dangerous trait in a man. He sees it as the only answer to shut up the woman.

If you want to talk issues with the man , you would need to find the right time and if he raises his voice, you should shelf it and speak to him again in another appropriate time when he is in the mood to listen.

If you are a child and when your parents fight, go to your room and insert ear plugs or listen to some music . It is not a pleasant sight and it can be distressing but this is the adult world and there is nothing much you can do about your parents when they do not get along with each other.

They have fallen into the gutter and this is the only way they can communicate with each other. If they realized how it is affecting you , they should both go for counseling .

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Do You Argue Often?

Posted on October 31, 2007. Filed under: Social Issues | Tags: , , , |

No two persons are alike and when one is a man and the other a woman, it only magnify the problems. Problems are inevitable in our daily life.

We see things differently through the male and female eyes. There could be many ways to do a job or to solve a problem.

All the roads lead to Rome but when you are short of time or want the easy way ,you want to go by the fastest and shortest route possible. If you want to argue, you can argue on almost any and  every issues.

You can argue until the cows come home and you still cannot get a definite answer and the problems is not resolved. If this issue cannot be resolved, there is no point in mentioning this issue except to accept the disagreements and let it stand and moved on.

Some day, one of them will be enlightened and will change his/her thinking, until then keep away from that topic that has no endings.

The only way to resolve arguments or conflicts is to try out the other’s methods and see which is the better way  or to let the person who is responsible for the job to do as he pleases. That will solve all their conflict amicably.Or they could do it alternately , to be fair and square.

Arguments are usually about power and control in a marriage. A man may resort to aggression and it can be quickly turned on when words have no effects on her.

That is why a woman should be wise when to shut up or she may infuriate him and make him lose his control and get whacked or physically abused by him.

Watch for the raised voice and the thinly veiled threat that he want s to end the argument. It never pays to cross that boundary.

Talk again in another time when he is more in the mood and he wont get angry easily. Don’t be in a hurry to settle everything now and then. It cannot simply be done.Don’t force the issue.

Women have a tendency to bring out past issues which can even date back 20 years ago. No one likes to hear of the past .If he digs out your past, you would say that was in the past.Today is today and yesterday is gone . You are not the same now and yesterday.

If you can agree , good , if you cannot agree then to each his own.You cannot force your ideas on anyone. Everyone is entitled to their opinions rightly or wrongly until one day they will see the truth.

Arguments are  a waste of time. State what you think , accept or reject, end of the story.

Related Contents.

Do you fight and argue often?

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