Archive for February, 2010

Are you a doormat ?

Posted on February 27, 2010. Filed under: Man-Women Issues | Tags: , , , |

There are givers and takers but unfortunately, some givers give so much of themselves that people will take advantage of them and they will become doormats or people pleaser.

Usually, it’s not intentional , but it does happen.

You become a doormat when you agree to do something you know is wrong and/or don’t want to, just because they want you to.

You should be so happy to be around this person, that you go against your personal beliefs and feelings.

You let them walk all over you even if there is dirt on their shoes.

You really need to evaluate your relationship with him . It will not get any better but will only get from bad to worse.

Don’t be obligated to do for others because you are afraid they will get mad.

Don’t go out of your way to put your life on hold in order to cater to others, so much that you may cancel appointments or never have time for yourself?

Set out your own limits and boundaries.

Do not always conform to his opinions.Don’t keep your opinions and feelings to yourself.Air them out.

Find your own voice or you will be forever be controlled by him.The more space you give him , the more he will exploit it .

Understand what is wrong being a doormat. Don’t sacrifice your time and energy for something you don’t enjoy doing and treat yourself the way you want to be treated.

You are slowly being suffocated and he relished what he is doing to you .

You need to get out before depression hits you . You don’t deserve all those treatments.

Love should not have any pains .If there is ,then it is not love.

You will one day regret wasting your time and energy on a fool who does not deserve you .

Where is your self worth and self respect?

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A man’s word is not cast in stones!

Posted on February 26, 2010. Filed under: Man-Women Issues | Tags: , , , , |

A man’s word is not ‘cast in stone’ unlike God’s word.

What a man said is only valid at that particular moment or maybe 24 hours or 1 week and after that it is no more valid or has become inapplicable.

Many women kept those words said by men for 20 or 30 years and some till even their dying days.It is so dumb to believe those words said by man like the Gospel truth.

What they said at one moment can be forgotten in a few minutes or hours and they conveniently do not remember them after wards and go about doing their usual thing without a care.

While the women are carrying those hurts every minute of their walking life.
Those hurtful words are like arrows shot at their heart and remains there for eternity untill someone comes and take them away.

Words said 2 months ago does not apply anymore.Circumstances have changed and to know whether they have changed, you need to go there and probe him.

Breakups are common among the youngs because they are inexperienced and do not know how to handle those pressures.It does not mean that you are not suited or incompatible with each other.

In time , if they are fated to be together, they will make up again.

Breaking up does not mean that you will walk away forever from that person.There are many people who make up after they breakup when they realized their follies.

Relationship is not an easy thing and you don’t just lie on the bed and everything will solved by itself.

You need to have understandings , love and the capacity to resolve all those contentious issues.

People are not machines and they have feelings and emotions. They can be influenced and swayed by emotions and certain actions of another individual.

The ground is not always static for it can shift according to those external forces.

Sometimes ,what you hear or see is not what you get.

You not only have to hear what is spoken from the mouth but you also need to feel with your heart what that person wants or means.

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Man’s roving eyes.

Posted on February 24, 2010. Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , |

We humans are born with a roving eye. In one study , it was found that woman’s eyes are more roving than the man . The difference is that, men do it too obviously than the women.
Woman’s roving eyes are even more dangerous.

The way a man looks at a woman and a woman looks at another woman is not the same. She would scan her in a split seconds and her mind would quickly assessed her. Whereas man only focused on certain parts of her body

Don’t blame the men . It is not that they don’t love you but up to that point, their mind is taken over and they lose control of it.

Many women are embarrassed in public when their men gaze lasciviously at other women without blinking and some even salivating in their mouth.

It is disconcerting when your man does that. You can tell him your feelings but it is impossible to tell him to stop ogling at those sexy and pretty urns. It is his nature.

Some women want to control their men from looking at other women.you need to understand and accept them as they are.It has nothing to do with you .

Men are imbued that way for the human species to survive.

What happens in man’s brains when a “pretty” woman comes into view is that the part of the brain called the visual cortex (VC) automatically registers her presence and, without conscious thought, his eyes turn to assess her.

A thing of beauty is a joy forever. Who does not enjoy looking at a pretty thing? It is just looking and nothing more.

Some look from the corner of their eyes, some stare, some ogled and some are fixated and many women have a problem dealing with this behaviour.

Why blame the men ? The men are visual creatures. Even a pretty thing can be stale after sometime and they want to see new things.

Reference:-
http://searchwarp.com/swa59039.htm

http://www.buzzle.com/articles/roving-eyes-heartache.html

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Handling disagreements

Posted on February 22, 2010. Filed under: Man-Women Issues | Tags: , , , |

Life is not without problems . If life has no problems then life is too boring and unchallenging.

Relationships have it’s up’s and down’s and men and women are different creatures from different planets.

Conflicts appear even if the relationship is great. Sometimes it is inevitable for misunderstandings to appear. They may be related to money, spare time, friends, family or career.

You need to know how to handle those problems or you will be in for a very hard time.

Sometimes ,the problem cannot be solved there and then. Your stands could be rigid or you do not give ways or want to compromise at the heat of the moment.

You should take a time out and let things cool down abit before you can become rational and ready to talk.

If you have anger, it is not wise to talk because harsh words would be spoken and you may regret it.

Don’t pressure a guy because most guys are not good at expressing themselves.

He maybe standing on the edge of the cliff at that particular moment and you may tip him over.

He could lose control and lash out physically at you . Guys are brought up that way. If the mouth cannot speak , the fist will do the talking.

Some women have a very loose or long tongue which they cannot control and this inability to reigned in their tongue may caused them injuries and in certain cases death.

They should know when to shut their mouth when they see their man are very agitated.

A wise, experienced and matured man would walk away from any heated disagreements with his partner.

You do not talk when you are irrational , angry or feeling hurt. When the other person is like being possessed, it is best to stop and walk away.

When you have cooled down, calm and your normal self , you will see things differently .

You should not seek instant solution or gratifications but to discuss it at another place and at another time.

Those heated and bias feelings would have cleared up and you could discuss it in a more rational and calm way.

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Will you wait to be wealthy before you can have a child?

Posted on February 16, 2010. Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , |

A child is a gift and blessings from God. If you are pregnant and give birth to a baby ,you are blessed.

Some people would plan to have babies only when they are financially capable.They want their child to have the best things in life.

They want to wait for all the conditions to be right before they want to have a baby but fate does not give them this luxury .

By the time ,they feel well off to have a baby ,they would have crossed their expired dates and they would use their wealth to get a baby by the IVF method or use surrogate dad and mom to achieve their aims.

In the process , how much must one accumulate enough to have a child? Is it really for the child or is it for the parents enjoyments.

Does this mean that those who are poor should not have children?

Having children is not about wealth or giving up the good life.

It is about the sacrifice and joy in raising them. A poor mother may work hard and suffer lower standards of living to support her child but she finds joy and fulfillment being a woman and a mother.

What about those people who are rich but are too preoccupied with their careers and have no time for their child?

Will having a child makes them better parents because of their wealth and materialistic wants ?

What good is materialistic things when you cannot give a mother’s love and spend time with your children?

Children do not need all those materialistic things but only those basic needs like love, care and concerns.

The human factor is more important than all those inhuman and materialistic needs.

If you feel it is the right time , by all means go ahead because it is your life.

It is just a matter of arranging your priorities in life.
Different people have different priorities.

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Will you live together (cohabit) with your b/f before marriage ?

Posted on February 4, 2010. Filed under: Man-Women Issues | Tags: , , , |

These days , it is quite common for two people who are unmarried to live under the same roof .

Some of them have stayed too long together until they even have children.They are like a family unit minus the legality or marriage certificate.

It was a taboo and shame in the olden times but people have come to accept this practice as a matter of fact in the new millenium.

If you are the traditional ,moralistic or religious type, it is wrong to do that and unacceptable and they believed it is a grave sin before God.

There are the pro’s and the con’s not only on religious or morality aspects but also on the perceptions of how the men would treat the women.

There is a nagging doubt within the women if she is doing the right thing or not.

Will the men respect those women ?

It has been found that most men in such a circumstance often tend to keep the status quo and do not register their marriages.

Living together have it’s advantages
They can cut or lower their cost of living.Two can live cheaper than one.

Moreover, it is like a trial marriage to see if they are compatible with each other.

In the long run , it is the women who will lose out as the men may get tired of them and then leave without ensuring any child or financial support to them.

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Why do women fall for those total morons or creeps?

Posted on February 3, 2010. Filed under: Women Issues | Tags: , , , , |

Women find them more exciting and appealing as compared to those good guys who are predictable , boring and unassertive.

They become a challenge to women ,thinking that they can change them from their wild ways.

Those bad guys are more macho , assertive and they go straight for the kill. They don’t beat about the bush .They openly showed their intentions

They showed their intentions early and give clear signals what they wanted in the relationship.
They do not want to be viewed as a friend but as a boyfriend.

While those good guys take too long and are too timid to move on a higher level.The girls will assume that you are not interested in them and give you up.

In any early relationship , the girls would be able to to tell in a few seconds if the new boy is a ‘friend’s’ category or a ‘boyfriend’s’ category.

Once she has decided, then the boy who is in the friend’s category will find the going tough..

Some women secretly want to be laid so bad but are afraid to be called sluts and their self esteemed is increased when they are desired sexually .It brings out the women in them.

If you are going fishing , you will need to learn the rules of dating. You need to take risk and show that you are interested in her and not just for the friendship or you will be treated like a friend and nothing more.

Bad guys may reach the first base but it is the good guys who will roam home.

A woman is not without her senses .Eventually , she knows which is the one for her .

There are guys who are just for flirts and fun’s only and guys who can provide them a financially and emotionally secure environments.

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