I am tired of being a man ,I want to be a woman again.

Posted on July 22, 2009. Filed under: Family Issues | Tags: , , |

Do you sometimes feel like you are the man in the house ?

You make all the major decisions and pay for everything in the marriage .Your man appears to only piggy back on your back and adding to your problems.

You want him to pull his weight in the relationship but he seems to be oblivious of your feelings and discontentment’s.

Instead of being understanding and helpful , some men may even constantly criticize , complaint ,emotionally abuse and have a higher expectations from her.

The journey is long and you can get tired and you need to rest sometimes and expect him to carry you when you feel weary and weak.

You are tired of carrying all those burdens on your shoulder and want him to help lighten them.

You maybe paying for half of everything in today’s marriages and in some cases, you may even pay for everything.

After paying for so many things , you expect some gratitude from him but instead you feel lousy about his selfish behaviour and would have preferred if he showed some understandings about your needs and learned how to nurture and take care of you .

You feel that you have given a lot to the relationship but he only knows how to take but does not know how to give in return.

Blame it on their mothers who pampered them and did not train them properly.

It can be very weary carrying the whole world by yourself all the time and sometimes , you need to rest and allow him to help you but help is not forth coming.

You think of your parents time when the man is the sole provider and the woman the house minder. The gender roles were distinct in those times.

With women getting higher educations and better paying jobs, the role of women in our society has taken on a different role. They are now the breadwinner as well as the housewife.

Even though some men take on a greater role in the taking care of the child and home, a greater proportion of the household chores are still being borne by the women.

Women want equality and they want to prove that they are just as capable as the men in every fields.

In the process, they compete against men and men are confused with the new role of women in the society.

Today’s women act like men or assimilated some of his characteristics but yet want to be treated like a traditional type of women.

The modern women want independence and equality but deep down they want to be taken care off like a traditional women with the men paying for everything.

It is like having the best of both worlds. Some women reverted back and fro from the old and the new world whenever it suited them.

If she is from a lower paying job, her man would look after her but if she is from the other higher end, the man is not expected to pay for her upkeep.

The way to avoid these pitfalls is to work out the details before marriage or put a certain percentage of their incomes into a joint account for all those bills and mortgages.

I see some Christian couples do that and they have a very good relationship and money is not a problem or can cause any misunderstandings or bad feelings.

When you are in love, you just want to live together and do not want to discuss the nitty gritty stuff before hand. There could be serious troubles if you go into too much details.

If there is love, everything will be fine and you won’t mind paying for everything.

When the honeymoon is over and reality sets in ,you begin to see his faults .

He is not the golden God you worshiped and let him walked all over you but only a statue with feet of clay.

Related story,

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-pay-for-everything-myself-why-doesnt-my.html

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2 Responses to “I am tired of being a man ,I want to be a woman again.”

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I understand how you feel about it. But sometimes, things really happen since you allowed it to be that way, and will always be that way. Its just a matter of being open to one another and sharing your thoughts as well. Yes, we are humans we really get tired.
Thanks for sharing about it.

Elsa from parasol en paille 

Hi Laura,

I saw this title, “I am tired of being a man, I want to be a woman again” (July 22, 2009). At first I could not believe my eyes–I thought you might be talking about those repugnant sex-change operations. I’m so glad you weren’t!

Now that I know what the article really is about, I’d like to add a comment. There is a Biblical dimension to the issue you’re discussing. In our modern society, my view on this issue–which I believe is based on Scripture–is definitely not popular. However, some of your many posts in your blog seem to indicate that you are a Christian and accept the Bible was the word of God. You even have a tab entitled, “Bible Studies.” I hope you are a Christian, making us kindred spirits on this issue and perhaps many others. So here goes.

Your opening statement describes the problem as follows: “Do you sometimes feel like you are the man in the house? You make all the major decisions and pay for everything in the marriage …”

Later you write, “You think of your parents time when the man is the sole provider and the woman the house minder. The gender roles were distinct in those times.”

What you have put your finger on in this second quote is the root cause of the problem you are discribing in the first quote. Today there has been confusion and sometimes an actual reversal of the traditional gender roles in marriage and society. However, these roles are Biblically-based:

“Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church” (Ephesians 5:22-25).

I could multiply passages. The issue is not imposing one’s views on others. If anyone wants to disbelieve the Bible, he can. However, it was God you designed and created male and female, and it was God who designed marriage and defined the roles to be played by the man and woman in marriage. A marriage, therefore, cannot be truly fulfilling and foster love and contentment when the principles for its success as laid down by its designer are ignored and violated. The inevitable result is what you describe in this article: confusion of roles and stressful, unhappy marriages.

The family, not the individual, is the basic building block of society. If marriage and the family disintegrate, as we see happening in our modern society, the disintegration of society itself must inevitably follow.

Now to a happier subject. You may remember that I recently posted replies to two other articles in your blog: “Wife Says “NO TO SEX” and “Do Women Need Sexy Lingerie?”

Laura, I want to thank you for your comments to my post on the “Wife Says No…” article. I very much appreciate your looking at my Web site and your kind and encouraging remarks about my stories.

In case you haven’t been back there recently, I’ve posted two new stories. First, “What Makes a Sexy Wife?” The answer to my title question is really remarkably simple–and universal. The newest story is “She Will Never Say ‘No’ Again!” This one is written for pure humor–and I actually received the email portrayed in the story. Perhaps, if you take a look, you might enjoy these stories as well. The two bear an obvious relationship to your “NO TO SEX” and “Sexy Lingerie” articles.

Cheers.

Bill
Romantic Marriage Stories
http://www.romanticmarriagestories.com

Thank you billquinn27 for your eloquent post. I apologize for this belated reply. I have been too busy Face Booking and have neglected my blogs. I am on leave from my blogs as I do not have the inspirations to write for the moment. Regret for not answering you in depth.


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