Grandparents denied access to their grandchildren.

Posted on May 21, 2009. Filed under: Philosophy Of life | Tags: , , |

Many grandparents are raising their grandchildren at their homes .With the current economic depression kicking in , we may see even more grandparents raising their grandchildren .

The parents are retrenched or they cannot meet their expenses and had to fall back on their parents.

The increasing incidence of parental
substance abuse, child abuse and neglect, incarceration, divorce, and desertion are the other factors which culminated in the grandparents having custody and raising their grandchildren.At their age, they should be looking at retirement and a relaxing life.

Grandparents play a major role in their grandchild’s development. They can give their grandchild the loving and supportive start early in their life.

They are given a second chance at parenting again. With their vast experiences , knowledge and time , they would make better foster parents to their grandchild.

When their children got married, they may need their parents help to look after their child. Some may just require their help on a short term.

Some may have no choice but to leave their children totally in their care due to economic and financial reasons.

Most grandparents spend a lot of time and dote on their grandchildren. They have more time, patience and understandings than the child’s parents who are always too busy with work and other commitments.

Being a grandparent can be a joyful experience and very satisfying. By helping them grow up in a secure environment, the grandparents experience a sense of self renewal.

It is what keeps them young in thought and body.Usually the grandchildren is the apple of their eye and literally , they live for their grandchildren. They also give them emotional fulfillment.

When the grandparents are denied access to their grandchildren ,or taken away from their care, it can be very hard and inconsolable.

This comes about when the parents divorce and the children stays with the mother who cut off her ex and his parents.

Some grandparents may spend large sums of money to fight in the courts for access to their grandchildren.

There are others who may never see their grandchildren again or at the mercy of the child’s mother.

If they are good, doting and co-operative grandparents, the mothers should not deny them access .

Put yourself in their shoes and you will sense their frustrations and helplessness. There should be a compromise and respect for each other.

It is normally a rocky journey when the parents divorce and some of them can be very intransigence , unreasonable, irrational and do not allow the other parent or grandparents to have access to their kids.

Such shortsighted actions can be detrimental to the child’s development and the special relationship with their grandparents.

Why deny your child the grandparent’s love and support? Do not be selfish and think only of yourself.

If you sow bad Karma you will reap more bad karma. Do not use your child as a pawn to hurt your ex or his /her parents. You should try to compromise with your ex and do what is best for the child’s welfare.

I do not have much recollections about my grandparents. My paternal and maternal grandfather died when I was very young and I don’t know how they look and even do not know what is their name. I can only remember my maternal grandmother but there was no close bond between us.They did not play any meaningful roles in my life. This is really sad.

That is why , we need to change and become more involved with our grandchildren for theirs and as well as for our benefits.

To guide , nurture and to offer them lots of love and affections and to make a great difference in their life.

A friend is better than an enemy. It is wise and prudent to have a cordial relationship with your grandparents -in-laws unless they are from Hell.

They have done no wrong to you nor to their grandchildren and to punish them by denying access to your children is pathetic and terribly wrong.

Reference and thanks to :-

http://www.wvu.edu/~exten/infores/pubs/fypubs/240.wl.pdf

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1185135/Justice-grandma-Its-bond-like–old-folks-deserve-access-grandchildren.html

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