Should a guy pay on the first date?

Posted on April 20, 2009. Filed under: Man-Women Issues | Tags: , |

If a guy asked a girl out on a first date, he should pay. Period!

What if a girl asked a guy out? She should pay but if the guy offers to pay and insisted on paying, she should allow him after some token resistance.

There is no point in hurting his fragile feelings to score a point. Be gracious and give him the honour.

Sometimes, who ever pays first does not matter ,it could be due to circumstances.

The waiter could accept his payment first since he is by his side and she should not feel uncomfortable about it.

There are times when it matters if the guy does not pay. It will be the end of that relationship.

In some traditional Asian societies, it reflects badly on the man if the woman pays directly to the waiter. They would usually hand the money over to the man to pay up.

The Chinese would rush to pay the bill first and sometimes, it can be a comedy when the other side also compete to pay first. It is about face saving.

Most men would gladly pay on the first date because they want to impress the girls.

It Is also gentlemanly to do that. It shows his good upbringing and class.

Most females are ingrained into them by their upbringings to accept this practice .

Some of them have the opinion that if the guys want to enjoy their company , they will have to fete them.

There are some modern day liberated women or hard line feminists who would insist on splitting the bill as they would feel offended and do not want to feel obligated to them.

Depending on where they will take them , it would indirectly tell her how
much she is valued in his eyes.

If the relationship becomes long term, then she should offer to pay according to her abilities .

Love will overcome all obstacles and one should not be too calculative or measure love only by the financial means but by the intangible gifts .

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4 Responses to “Should a guy pay on the first date?”

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I think it is up to the guy on the first round. In fact, my feeling is that guys should pay for most dates!

Laura1318 :-
Thank you for your input . You reinforces the general perceptions that guys should pay for most of the dates.

Hey! If you want my time and company , you will have to pay!

“If you want to court a woman , that is the price you will have to pay”

Maybe in a sense, but it makes men more selective in whom they date. For me, a woman who is cold or unappreciative at all is an automatic deal-breaker. I will not have a second date or even call her.

Women tend more and more to expect lavish outlays of money from men, but honestly, they don’t deserve this just for existing. Women must reciprocate in at least acknowledging that a man is putting forth effort in taking her out. Men with high character don’t like to feel used by women. The ones who will keep spending money on an inconsiderate woman are only trying to use her for sex.

BTW, the vast majority of Western women expect men to pay for dates as well.


A mother takes 25 years to make her son into a man . Along comes a woman , she turns him into a child in 25 minutes.

Don’t blame the woman for the man’s own fault. He becomes a fool when he encounters a beautiful woman.
He should be wise and not be a fool .

I totally agree. I’m a progressive man, but I wouldn’t think of allowing a woman to pay on almost any date regardless of how long we’d been together. Even for a married couple, accounting does not belong on date night. It’s not a matter of chivalry, it’s a matter of generosity.

My only complaint against women is that they sometimes take this for granted a little too much. It’s nice to get a ‘thanks’ from a woman after you’ve just dropped $300 taking her out.

Laura1318 :-

Thanks for your input. There is the cultural differences between Asians and Westerners.
The Caucasian men and women would go ‘Dutch’ because they do not give treats like Asians. Their women do not like to feel being bought or their characters being sullied.(Free loaders)

Even if they are in a relationship , the bills are split both ways.This is not so for Asians. The traditional Asian women would expect the men to pay all the time . Only those modern high income women would split the cost.

Some women have no monetary sense. A bouquet of flowers is very beautiful to look at but it can cause some pain in the man’s pocket.

With that money you could have a lavish meal for two instead of just admiring those flowers and will be thrown away after a few days.

If you want to court a woman , that is the price you will have to pay. For flowers are the language of love to many women.

Well said and I do agree that the guy should pay on the 1st date, whether initiated by him or the girl 🙂

Laura1318:- It is the lady’s psyche that the men should pay even if she earns more than him. Ha! Ha!.

She has to preen and make herself presentable to him and this takes lots of time ,efforts and money .

In fact, she spends more on this date than him. Therefore, he should pay for the pleasure of her company. 🙂

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