Archive for July, 2008

I Am Single And I Cannot Seem To Find The Right Guy!

Posted on July 31, 2008. Filed under: Man-Women Issues | Tags: , , , |

They are young, beautiful and talented and have everything they wanted in life but there is one thing which evades them , that is finding the right and perfect guy to be their b/f.

They enjoyed success in whatever they are doing but this venture is beyond their capabilities and they cannot find the answers why they are still single or not in a serious relationship.

Perhaps they maybe in the wrong planet or those men are aliens or came from Mars. Maybe those guys do not exist but only in their figment of imaginations. Some even don’t know what kind of men they are looking for.

Why is it so hard to find the right guy to have a relationship or to fall in love with each other?

Half of the world’s population are males and they are everywhere and I am sure there is one who would be right for you if you seek them out or show yourself in their world.

Some girls are lucky and have many b/f’s like those bright lights attracting those flies to it,while the majority maybe crying out for help because the world seems to pass them by.

The only reason they cannot find the right guy is because of their unrealistic high expectations and the degree of perfections they expect from the guys. No guy is perfect and they don’t come wrap up in the way you want . They are like raw materials which need processing before you can enjoy the final products.

If you are in the market to buy the finished product, you will not find it except it belongs to some other females who has moulded and refined them according to their taste.

Finding a man is not hard. The hard part is whether you are willing to work on him and accept him for his faults and live with it. A man needs to be educated or domesticated to be a family man.

They are like wild stallions which roam in the wilderness and they need to be caught , corralled and broken down before you can ride on them and obey your commands.

It is also not about the present but about the future prospects . He maybe a lowly clerk or peon but if he has the drive and intelligence , he maybe a rich man somewhere down the road.

It is not about waiting for the next guy to come along who maybe better or more perfect than the present one. If you think this way , your heart will not be in the relationship and it will not last .

Some girls keep their b/f’s like spare tires and discard them when they meet a better one. It is not easy to please a girl .

We all make mistakes because we are only human .We should not be afraid to make mistakes or mess up our life. For if we want to be stronger , we need to face strong challenges in life. A sailor cannot be a good sailor if he does not encounter ‘storms’ in his/her life.

For a young man ,just out of college or university, he begins at the bottom of the success ladder and it needs time for him to climb up. Some will of course be forever stuck at the bottom .

Do not judge a book by it’s cover,for you do not see what is inside of him. He could be kind, loving , understanding, gentle and will bloom to be the right kind of guy you intent him to be with your love and kind touch.

Look not for perfections, for none is perfect. Many men are just like small boys at heart and it only need some kind and loving words and gentle touch from you to bring out his best for you.

Give lots of praises and compliments and he will want to be that person you desire.

Getting married to the right guy is like buying the lottery. If your luck is good , you strike first, second or third prize. If you do not have the luck , you may get the pain  in the ass kind.

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Never Too Old To Love .

Posted on July 31, 2008. Filed under: Man-Women Issues | Tags: , , |

We read of couples falling in love and marrying in the 80’s and 90’s . Some of them could be their 2nd or 3rd love . As a human being , we can still love another as long as we still can breathe and in control of our faculties. We will need some lady luck to find our partners.

I do not know how many of us will have the chance to live up to that ripe old age and can still find love. What we can do is to enjoy each day as it come and do what you want to do and do those things that you like to do.It is the little things you do everyday which make the day .

I do not know what it is like falling in love again in the 80’s but falling in love when you are in your 20’s , 30’s, 40’s and 50’s may not feel the same or have the same meanings. Just as life begins to feel different every 10 years.

For those who thought they missed the boat, take heart that love can come anytime after you cross the 40 shelf life. Do not despair but keep on enjoying life. You are never too old to change or fall in love.

Your body may grow old but your spirit will be forever young if you feel young. Be happy , be free and be at peace with your surroundings and you will feel young . Tomorrow is always a new day. Live the good life and never let anyone tell you that you are too old to fall in love.

You’re never too old, too busy, too ANYTHING to do something you love! …Love can mature at any age.

There is always a new love story to begin and where it will end , nobody knows.

Related topics ;-

http://www.floridaweekly.com/news/2008/0214/Top_News/002.html

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/124535/_a_precious_valentine_love_story_you.html?cat=41

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Seat Belt Warning !!!

Posted on July 31, 2008. Filed under: News | Tags: , , |

It was an unfortunate tragedy. A 18 month old baby ,Angel Nguyen which was on the mothers lap was catapulted 150 ft through the BMW car’s windscreen at 80mph (128.7kmh) when the tire blew and the car went out of control.

She was strapped on to a baby car seat moments before the under inflated tire blew causing Angel’s father to lose control of the car which mounted a grass bank before somersaulting back on to the carriageway and ending up on its roof.

Our prayers and condolence to the father Michael and mother Hau over their sad loss.

In Malaysia, the government has introduced legislations to force people at the back of cars to buckle up .It will come into force in six months with some exceptions to the Kancil car and some older cars.We should not wait for any legislations but to buckle up now for our our safety.

Some cars do not have seat belts while many new models only have two seat belts at the back. Most people do not buckle up when they sit behind in the car.

We should be aware that when an accident happens, the people who do not buckle up behind in the car will be propelled forward like a missile . If the car is travelling at 60kmh (37mph), a 60kg (132lbs) person will be moving forward with a force of 2.5 tons.

In most serious accidents , the back passengers will be thrown out of the car and can cause them serious injuries and sometimes death.

When we have children on board, we should drive more carefully and slower. Make sure the kids are buckled up. Sometimes , it is a hazzle as the kids do not want to buckle up . After sometime when they have quieten down , you should buckle them up for their safety.

It is important that you do not speed and take a rest when you are tired.Observe all the traffic rules and if any accident were to happen ,it is fated.There is not much we can do about fate.It just happens no matter what you do .

The BMW is a safe and sophisticated car. At that speed, it is just normal and easy to handle . I had two experience about tires blowing while driving but I was not driving very fast and I managed to pull over by the side of the road.

If the road is wet, it may cause the car to spin . On rainy days or wet conditions , it is safer and more prudent to drive more slowly.

Buckle up and save life. Better be safe than sorry.

Your life and your children’s life are very important. Do not speed or drink and drive.

Reference and thanks to ;-
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1039850/Seat-belt-warning-baby-mothers-lap-catapulted-150ft-car-windscreen-80mph.html

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You Are Precious Too…

Posted on July 30, 2008. Filed under: Social Issues | Tags: , |

No one should feel useless or redundant or good for nothing, for we were send in to this world with a purpose in life. We maybe just a small screw in a big machine  but still it’s importance cannot be missed. Every  part is essential to the success and the working of this machine. We all have the right to exist  and play our parts in the higher order of the process of life.

We are just like a piece of jigsaw puzzle  to fit into a particular place in the bigger picture. We do not know what the picture looks like until it is completed . Then we will know where our destiny lies.

Do not feel that you are not a good for nothing fella.People may feel that you are  good for nothing ,but in God’s eye’s you are very precious to Him. You serve a purpose in this world and only God knows when your light will shine brightly.

You did not come into this world to face prejudice or to be prejudged by mere mortals who are no better than themselves.We should not judge others if we do not want to be judged.For we will all face our maker in judgement day .

You did not choose to come into this world or where to be born. You were send here because of the love of your  parents for each other and you were the result of that beautiful union.

Your  Earthly parents love you and brought you up with all their sweat,toil and blood and give you the best they could muster.You are  precious to them. Their love for you knows no bounds . Think of all their sacrifices and do not disappoint them.

Your loving and merciful parents carry your  burdens for all their life.Many a times, thoughtless people shoots poison darts at them because of you. Sometimes , they go to bed with tears in their eyes.

You maybe a nobody in this big wide world but in your heart, you know you are very  precious in God’s sight.

For the sparrows dont have to worry about tomorrow because God cares about them ,what more when you are His children.

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Pleasure Now Or Pleasure Later ?

Posted on July 30, 2008. Filed under: Financial Issues | Tags: , , , |

There are two school of thoughts of how you should live life and be successful. You were either born into one or you were shaped by your circumstances.

We are told that if you want to be successful and rich in life, we will have to suffer now and scrooge every penny to invest and make more money. We need to make great sacrifices and give up instant gratifications inorder to enjoy more in the future.

Your one dollar now may be worth 20K if you invest it right after 20 years. That is if you are still alive. All those financial consultants will tell you to manage your finances and you will be a millionaire in 20 or 30 years even if you are a lowly office worker.

Look around us and we can see you are either a slave to money or money is your servant. The majority of us are slaves to money , for we want to enjoy first and pay later and we sell our souls to the devil and fall into all sorts of debt traps set by the banks .

Money is always short for this group. The plastic money make it more easier for this group to realize their objective. Spending more than they have and incurring big debts in the process.

Those who want pleasure now or instant gratifications will say that life is short and you do not know how long you will live. You should enjoy while you can and let tomorrow take care of itself.

If you work all your life and keep your money to invest in more land and buildings , what good is it to you except to your children who may fret them away since they do not want to work .Why would they want to work when they have everything they needed?

Today’s generations will not accept the ethics of their forefathers who slaved without knowing how to enjoy their labours. They were just like the ants who worked till they die of old age. All their life, they only know how to work and make more money .

If your parents have build up the foundations, then you will have no problems as the rich will get richer . Like Bill Gates, he does not have to work . When he wakes up , his value will increase by US$20 millions or more . They have more money that they can account for . Such is the disparities between the very rich and the millions of poor people like us who has to slogged 24 hours to earn the meager income just to survive on this planet.

Everyone of us is given only one life and you should have a balance between enjoyment and working . Some people are meant to be rich or fated ,while many can only dream about their riches .

If you are planning to get rich , I wish you all the best. As for me , I may not be rich by this world’s standards but I am happy and contented to be where I am .

Related topics;-

http://zenhabits.net/2007/07/enjoy-life-now-and-save-for-later-or-why-delayed-gratification-is-a-false-dichotomy/

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What Men REALLY Think About Marriage ?

Posted on July 29, 2008. Filed under: Man-Women Issues | Tags: , , |

A couple cutting a cake.

A couple cutting a cake.

Courtesy;-

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wedding_cake

More and more women are marrying later in life and some may even be addicted to single life. To be free, single and without a care in this world! Is it by choice or by circumstances?

What happens when you grow old and others who marry and have a whale of a time with their children and grand children .

Is life as a single woman meaningful and  fulfilling?

Single life has its advantages and disadvantages. I would rather opt to marry or fall in love than never to marry or fall in love. Are we destined to remain single all our life and never to marry and leave our legacy behind ?

Those fortunate ones will take the last boat to La La Land, while those unfortunate ones will be consigned into the history bin. Finding the right man is like looking for a needle in a haystack.

Marrying late has its disadvantages as the men becomes less fertile and having children can be a problem. She may also be past her shelf life.

Some women have an unrealistic and too high expectation of the man. They sit on their high horses and surveyed the man and if you are not on a white horse with a shining white armour, then you are not worthy of even a look. Never judge a book by it’s cover for you will miss a kind hearted and loving man.

Women who are rich or well off or earning a big pay cheque can have their problems compounded by the lack of men in that category .They are known as Alpha females . Those men are already taken up or too old for their taste.

The problem of single womanhood is exacerbated by the men’s fear of marriage. Marriage is all about love, sex,children, money and power.

The single most important considerations is about money . If the men do not have enough , they would not want to marry a rich girl or may not even want to marry because of the exorbitant cost of going though the marriage ceremony.

Only those who are truly in love will not find it a problem. They will marry come what may and some maybe up to their necks mired in debts .

Most men are brought up or conditioned to be the main breadwinner in the marriage. He is expected to be the provider . With most girls now working and some earning big pay packets , the men would be intimidated and such girls are viewed as high maintenance prospects.

When they find out about her income , they will scoot off as fast as their legs can carry them. They are afraid that they will not be able to support her present lifestyles and fear the marriage will not last .

They will fear that she will be the boss or the one who wears the pants in the family and he plays the second fiddle. This can cause some chauvinistic men to ‘lose face’ or bring shame to them. That is why most men prefer to marry down than up.

Men have the perceptions that women are insatiable , be it love , money or sex. They are afraid to mess up and fear making mistakes or unable to give her a good life. Some of them do not want to give up their freedom in exchange for a yoke on the neck or a rope through their nose like a buffalo.

Getting married and when you marry is fated. When the time is ripe, you will throw away all your objections ,faulty thinkings and perceptions and happily hitched up with your not so perfect partner.

Related topics;-

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/812513/why_men_avoid_marriage.html

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Mail Order Brides

Posted on July 28, 2008. Filed under: Man-Women Issues | Tags: , |

Asian bride

Asian bride

Courtesy;-

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brides#Bride

They are young , some are beautiful and they are hardworking . Life for them has been very hard and many of them live in poverty. To escape from this poverty , many sign themselves up for the mail order bride.

It is fraught with uncertainties and sometimes danger as they leave their country to be with their new husband in a foreign land . They will be all alone in a strange land and with a different culture and there will be no turning back. It will be probably the last time they will see their parents or siblings again .

She will have to accept her fate .They cannot be choosy and sometimes , they have no choice . Some of them may be married to very old or invalid or sick men and it becomes a lifetime of serving their husbands like a serf. It is like she has sold her soul to the devil if she finds a cruel husband or the nasty in laws.

Many of these women do it for their family and for themselves. It is a passport to a good life for them and their family. Some of them may send home remittance back to their poor family .

In every industry , there are the good and a sprinkling of the bad ones .Others may trick and cheat their new husbands or control them and suck them dry before disappearing back into their home country and never to be seen again.

You can find many Vietnamese brides in Taiwan , Korea, China , Singapore, USA , Japan and Malaysia

In many small rural Malaysian towns, the youths after finishing secondary school at the age of 17 or 18 have left to continue their studies in the bigger towns or those who are seeking employment or a better life will also leave for the bright lights in the big cities and there is nothing for them there.

Most of these small town senior folks have difficulty finding local brides as they are more materialistic .The only options left for them is to order those mail order brides from Vietnam, Thailand, Philippines and China.

Most Malaysians prefer Vietnamese women because they have the right aptitude, pragmatic and are very hardworking. Language can be a problem at first but in time , they will be able to communicate better because of true love. When you have love, there is no need to talk much .It is like a romance between the physically challenged ,using the international love sign language.

The men will have to fork up about M $20 grand (US$ 6.06 grand) to cover for all the expenses to bring the women over. It is worth the money spent if they find a very good wife.

Those Vietnamese women are brought into Malaysia through the agents and are sometimes paraded like cattle’s for sale. This is very demeaning but this is the fastest way to find a husband in this land. You see and inspect the goods and then pay up , sign the papers and take them home to be your lawful bride.

<script language=”JavaScript1.1″ src=”http://ads.asia1.com.

Related topics;-
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Traditional_Vietnamese_wedding

http://www.xinhdep.info/

http://tnp.sg/news/story/0,4136,171761,00.html?

http://tnp.sg/news/story/0,4136,171762,00.html?

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Are The Modern Working Women Out Of Touch With Their Feminine Side ?

Posted on July 28, 2008. Filed under: Uncategorized, Women Issues | Tags: , , |

It is work, work and more work for the modern ,emancipated and liberated women . Her life is so hectic and there is no time to think about femininity .She has to juggle career, marriage and motherhood and this is putting alot of stress and strains on her body and soul.

This new world order is not being fair to the ladies. She has to shoulder additional and heavier burdens than her mother’s generations. She has to compete with the men and yet are expected to appear feminine . While the men have not changed and are still much in the traditional mode expecting her to perform those traditional wifely roles .

What did she achieve with all her toils?

It is like chasing after the wind .Her rewards for all her labours are stress, back aches , headaches,unhappiness and miseries in her social life. She may enjoy success in her careers but her private social life maybe in tatters or unsatisfactory. She could probably be a single mum or worse a single,unattached woman and no kids of her own. Maybe , being rich , single and free is the new fad.

Time will pass her by and when she realized that she has been working very hard like an ant , she will be past her prime and missed out on her youth and what life is all about. Everything becomes meaningless .

What was once a beautiful dream turned out to be a sad one,for they ended up lonely, exhausted and broken hearted. It was not what they bargained for when they went to the university to get a degree.

Her sisters who did not go to the university , got married and have kids and live a more happier life than her. She may have some old fashioned ideas but it has given her what she wants in life. A cozy family nest and a chance to grow old gracefully and have children and great grandchildren.

Does she exist to work like a slave to the God of Money ? What is her purpose in life ?

These will be the questions she will have to ponder over and see which directions she wants to go in life.

Many of today’s career women in order to compete in the male dominated world , have turned aggressive and assimilated many of the men’s working culture and morphed into them. They begin to take on more and more of the men’s role . It can de-feminize them and leaving them little time for themselves.

This has made them lose their femininity because it could not get them far in the ladder of corporate success. They become corporate warriors with no holds barred and become aggressive and fiesty like the men .

They think of personal relationships as business relationships .They use the same reasoning in the corporate world and apply to their private world. She becomes controlling and oppressive and want things done her way or none at all.

When the women becomes successful in her job, the men will feel intimidated by their intellects and prowess and feel threatened by their higher earning potentials. Men are expected to be the breadwinner due to their upbringings and traditions and this recent trend of women bringing home a larger pay cheque can upset their thinking process and psychology. It is a blow to their ego’s and they would feel less of a man .

The working women should not forget her femininity . To be feminine is about allowing oneself to yield more and control less. It is not about looking more feminine but also feeling feminine in the heart.

To show vulnerability is not a sign of weakness but a strength ;to show submissiveness but in actuality in total control.

What is femininity?  You cannot fake it . It has to be real and comes from your heart.

Reference and thanks to ;-

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1039030/Fast-track-femininity-Why-competing-men-left-women-touch-feminine-side.html

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How To be A Great Mum !

Posted on July 27, 2008. Filed under: Women Issues | Tags: , , |

Mother & Child

Courtesy;-
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother

Every girl would want to aspire to be a great and perfect mum after they have married and have kids. We may not know the hows or the whats but we will use our motherly instincts and intuitions whenever we encounter any problems.

We will dig here and there and ask our mothers,aunties, relatives and friends for advice or go online to research on this topic to overcome any imperfections of our career in motherhood.

We will try our very best and being a mum can bring on the tears, sweat, sacrifice , happiness ,joys and sorrows.

I came across this site which gave 12 awesome tips for being a great mum.

Stay true to yourself.

Being a mum can be a very hard breaking and unending task . You are expected to take care of the children single handedly without much help from your partner. If he can lift a hand and lighten your load, your life would be much better. You would be able to rest your tired body and be able to recover from the rigours of motherhood.

The men should try to help their partners whenever they can and understand their sometimes neurotic and erratic behaviours and also from certain times of the month when they are not their usual self.

Taking care of kids can be very stressful. It is a tough job bringing up kids and most men may not even stand or last an hour taking care of the baby alone.

Your whole life will now revolve around the children and you may not find the time to do those things that you like. Being single and being a mother are two different worlds apart.

Your single life or freedom to do whatever you wanted is a luxury or privilege which you do not enjoy anymore .Every second and every minute, your mind is always thinking of your children.

Don’t try to be perfect.

You are wasting your energy if you try to control your life and do things in a perfect way. When the children comes , your life will not be the same again . It will get more messy and crazier because you do not have the time and energy to make your life perfect. You would probably looked disheveled , with sunken cheeks and black rings around your eyes from the lack of sleep and exhaustions.
Accept things as they come and forget what other’s will think of you. You will look like a survivor from a war zone..LOL!

There is this beautiful prose of before and after you became a mom I found online .

Before I was a Mom.

Before I was a Mom…
I slept as late as I wanted
and never worried
about how late I got into bed.
I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.

Before I was a Mom…
I cleaned my house each day.
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn’t worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom…
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on. Spit on. Chewed on. Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom…
I never held down a screaming child so that doctors could do tests.
Or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom…
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn’t want to put it
down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn’t
stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom…
I didn’t know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn’t know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn’t know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn’t know that something so small could make me feel so
important and happy.

Before I was a Mom…
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to
make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the
wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn’t know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom.

And before I was a Grandma…
I didn’t know that all those “Mom” feelings more than doubled!

Author Unknown

There is a lot to discuss on this topic and you can go to the link below to read all those awesome tips to be a great mum. I could ramble on and on with my experience and it could bored you to death..LOL!

Reference and thanks to ;-

How To Be A Great Mom – 12 Awesome Tips
by Vered of MomGrind.

http://zenhabits.net/2008/07/how-to-be-a-great-mom/

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Are You A Gastrosexual ?

Posted on July 27, 2008. Filed under: Man-Women Issues, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , |

In the Asian and traditional society , it was the women’s job and prerogative to do the cooking and to be in charge of the preparation of the food.

During the dinosaur age, men were the hunters and women the caretakers and home givers. They need to looked after the young and was required to cook and this became associated as a women’s role This stereotype thinking still pervades among many of us until today.

Many modern women today are working and they have no time or inclination to cook until they get married or have their own family.

Cooking is an art and for some they will need to learn to survive in the present times. Today , many of those famous chef in those high class establishments are males . I often wonder why there are not many female chefs in that position ?

Are men better cooks than women?

Cooking is not gender based and both men and women can be good cooks if they are passionate about it.Perhaps it is not about the cooking skills but the bias about employing female employees as chef.

Who can cook better or who is the better cook is subjective and it is best left to each of us to decide .It does not matter if a woman cannot cook or a poor cook , as long as she marries a man who can cook and it is one job less for her to do.

Today , men are learning to cook to woo potential partners. Increasing numbers of males are using their culinary skills to woo the opposite sex, a study says.

These men are dubbed as ‘gastrosexuals.’ Being able to cook up some appetizing dish is an added advantage over those who do not know how to cook. It is a key factor in the seduction of the women.

Man in apron

Man in apron

Courtesy;- http://www.pinksuzie.com

A man in apron working in the kitchen can be an aphrodisiac’s to a women’s mind. You will sure score Brownie points with her if your cooking is good. You will have to practice and practice by trial and error until you get the right ingredients for the perfect taste.

Start taking an interest in cooking or learn from your mum’s secret recipe for your favourite food to impress your g/f. Do not be the dishwasher always .

Related topics;-

Why women can’t cook – by a very brave husband

Reference and thanks to ;-

http://www.metro.co.uk/news/article.html?in_article_id=228097&in_page_id=34

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