The Paradox Of The Alpha Female!

Posted on December 29, 2007. Filed under: Women Issues | Tags: , , , |

This is my reply to Hot Alpha Female’s post on The Paradox Of The Alpha Female

Hi Hot Alpha Female,

Thank’s again for another great write up from you. Glad to hear you had a beautiful white Christmas.

[ Too many times I see two people who think that they are only half a person without the other. Its like two starving people in a room trying to steal each others food! It just doesn’t work. N it leads to dependant relationships which I think can be quite unhealthy in the long term. N while obviously when u are in a long term relationship there will be times where you are more dependant on your partner for support and what not, because you have an open and loving relationship, but the whole idea of having to rely wholly on another person .. is something that Alpha Females definitely don’t appreciate and would not want to do. Coz we are all about independence in every way right? One of our greatest assets and greatest downfalls I think.]

No man is an island. We can choose to live alone all through out our life by choice or by default. I do not hold the same view as you. My view of a relationship is both men and women complement each other and not totally dependent on each other. They should not feel like they are only half a person as both are strong in their departments.

They can live or survive without each other, though their life will not be as happy and contented when they have each other. Before, you have only two hands and two legs but after marriage, you have 4 hands and 4 legs figuratively speaking.

I don’t see a half but I see another one that is like a detachable you. He can do things for you and be where you cannot i.e at two places. It is like looking at a glass, half full or half empty. Or I see from the inside and you see from the outside.

When you have one rod, it can break easily, but if you tie two rods together, it will need more strength to break them. When two people come together, they complement each other and will therefore be stronger to face the challenges in life. You have someone to discuss and ponder over. Love and encouragements from your partner can do wonders .You can be pushed to the limit to discover your capabilities and true potentials.

You are only an Alpha female because you are strong in the making money department; it does not mean that you will be strong in all the other personal departments. You are a female and you do not have the male characteristics. No matter what you think you are, you are still a female and have only the female characteristics. There are still places that you cannot go or go alone unlike a man.

When you have a partner, it is like an insurance. If anything happens to one of you, there is the other one who will carry or support you .When you are single, you are all alone. When you fall down, there is no one to lift you up. A friend is not the same as a husband.

[You know I have heard of so many stories of people going after the money. I have so many problems with this, its not funny. Firstly I don’t see the point. Why do u have to go after someones money, when u can make your own? ]

That is precisely the point why Alpha females want their partners to be someone who is equal or more successful than them. They are looking for someone who is as rich and successful as them. Will they love a Beta man who is not that rich or successful according to their financial standards? They don’t need a man provider but they are looking for one without realizing it. It is a women’s instinct to find a good provider.

Secondly, you cannot judge a man by his riches or his success on this factor alone.Do only all successful and rich men are good? In that case, then all the good men don’t exist in the poor category.This is a wrong thinking.

Do you think all those rich and successful men are good for you? Do you think all those successful men have the good attributes of a man? Not all rich man earns their money by the hardworking and honest way. If you work honestly, you will take a very long time to get rich and by that time you will be in your 50’s. LOL!

If from ground zero and be a millionaire in your 20’s, you must be exceptionally lucky or very brilliant. I know of a guy from a rich background and he manipulated his shares in the stock market and made Rm28M in that year. How many men can you find like him? Sorry, he is already married. What he made in one year, many men will never made through out their life’s. He is rich out of the miseries of those small shareholders who bought his company shares when the price was bloated.

[Secondly why would you want to be in a relationship where one person has all the power. Say u marry someone with all the money and u don’t really have much at all. You are completely dependant on him. He in every sense, accommodates your needs and he in every sense can take that all away in a flash.]

Don’t the girls want to get a rich husband? That’s the price they have to pay. Even if you are an Alpha female and you marry someone who has more than you , you still have to kowtow to him.

[Thirdly, guys usually want someone who is their equal, who they respect and who they can have a growing nurturing and wonderful relationship with. Otherwise just like you said Laura they get bored and move on!]

Not all guys want an equal. Nah! I cannot say precisely about how many percent of guys will want an equal but around 50%, give or take 10% both ways. You are thinking from an Alpha female mind which is not a true reflection of the male mind. Why do many male graduates or male professionals marry down? That is for you to ponder for another day.

A simple man looking for a simple woman who would cook , wash and take care of him and his needs and whether she is his equal or intelligent is not a very important factor but she must have some beauty or sex appeal and this quality will compensate for her lack of intelligence. LOL!

A woman who shows her feminism and great skills in inter personal relationships and treat a man like a man is better than those graduates or Alpha females who expects much from the men but gives little in return.

This is the key to a man’s heart. This has nothing to do if you are an Alpha or Beta female. You don’t have to get a degree to learn how to treat a man.

Another great one from Tanya Gold ,” If you want to be loved, just scoop out your brain and act like a child.”

You can read her post on
Men want us lobotomised

Yeah! Just throw away what you have learned from the university and pretend you are a lowly girl. That is if you want to get married. LOL!

An intelligent woman may not be a graduate and a graduate maybe intelligent only in a certain subject but a dumbo in human personal relationship’s.That’s how a man thinks.

As in everything, we always admire what we don’t have and don’t appreciate the things that we have. Other people’s wife or husband are better than ours .We can get bored and sometimes familiarity can breed contempt’s.

Before marriage, you may be attracted by those qualities in him/her but after marriage those same qualities may be repugnant and offensive to you. LOL! In marriage, it is all about love. Their love should grow and become stronger.

It is not easy like those weeds where they grow abundantly. Marriage is like a rose plant where you have to give tender loving care to the plant. They need water, fertilizer, love and sunshine. They need to work at it.

[Life is all about challenge and it absolutely is about the journey as well. There is no point in life where u have it all, because as humans we always need to grow, there always needs to be the next level. N if u are in a relationship where u cant bring that next level? Well I don’t care how much money you have, how great your relationship is, it wont last.]

There are many challenges in a married life or life in general. You will know what happens today but you will not know what tomorrow will bring. You meet new challenges everyday, that’s why marriage is more interesting when you can share with another person.

Man was not made to live alone. God give man a helper in Eve. God took a bone from Adam’s ribs because that would show that the women were equal to men. They complement each other’s weaknesses.

God does not burden you more than you can bear.


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5 Responses to “The Paradox Of The Alpha Female!”

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mai maru ga teri gand

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Girl! I don’t know why you say you don’t hold the same view as me because I’m not exactly saying that two people should be dependant on each other. I’m saying that it’s a bad thing if two people come together as half a person, try to get someone else to fill their own emotional needs. Its kind of like a girl getting into a relationship because she wants to have someone to love her, because she doesn’t love herself. That I think can be destructive, because it can mean that she will date anyone and everyone who can fulfill that need, but may not be good for her. I absolutely believe that we are not meant to go through this life alone and that everyone deserves a partner to walk through life with. I believe that loving another person in an intimate relationship, magnifies the quality of your life and is an absolutely essential part in having a full and fulfilling life. …….

Read the full article @

This is an extremely interesting piece!
I enjoyed reading it..

More so because I’m working on a project…’genderized…’

I’ve got an interesting comment on your closing phrases (God gave man a helper in Eve…) Well, I don’t think that’s quite right!
God gave ‘the male’ man a helper in ‘the female’ man.

At that phase of the human development, it was all about complementarity…

…or..what do you think?

Laura1318; Thank you for your comments.I stated the obvious and the general truth.God made man and then he made a ‘man with a womb’ and later the name was changed to woman for short.Maybe God did not coin the word woman yet and so you could call her a female man.

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