Love Marriage Shackled By Traditions.

Posted on December 23, 2007. Filed under: Marriage Issues | Tags: , , |

Finding a right mate is difficult enough but getting married is another difficult hurdle to overcome .If both of you are orphans, then you will not face much problems. You can just go and register and go for your honeymoon. Congrats! You are now husband and wife.

If you are an Asian, you will be beset with traditions and customs of your race. You can only escape if both of you put your foot down but you may alienate your parents and in laws and may be banned from your community as in some cultures.

If you come from a deeply conservative society like in India, your woes can be insurmountable except through death or run away to another country and never to come back.

The love affair of Konedela Srija, the daughter of a top Indian film star Chiranjeevi, is a case of defiance of conservative parents by children trying to become more independent and assertive – sometimes at a terrible price. They are killed and sometimes it is called ‘honour killings.”

Marrying into another religion can even be more formidable. If you marry a Muslim, you have no choice but to follow the Islamic way if you are in Malaysia. You will have to convert to their religion. This only happens in Malaysia and as far as I know, no other Islamic countries in the world would forced you to convert through marriage to one of their kind.

If you want your parent’s blessings, you will have to follow all those customs and traditions of marriage in your culture. Some of the customs which you have never heard off or your mother does not even know about them.

It can be absurd and exasperating to follow some of those old customary rites. The master of ceremony or the brides chaperone will dictate the events and you just follow like a lamb to the slaughter. LOL!

You may think you are modern and progressive but when it comes to marriages and customs, your parents will have more say than you. If you have a very modern and understanding parent, it is your blessings. They will not stand in your way and will just accept whatever you prefer. Some parents have a very rigid stand and it is impossible not to obey them unless you want them to disown you or break away from them.

The economic progress and growing contact with Western values are causing increasing confrontations with the cultural traditions of our parents. The liberalization and emancipation of woman too contributed to this problem.

You may have found the man of your dreams, but traditions and customs is such a hassle that you would find it better to give him up then to fight on because the price is too high to pay.. Will you be like the Romeo and Juliet love story? That would be tragic and sad.

“A man and a woman fall in love with each other and then celebrate it through a wedding. Household duties and childrearing after marriage are not just a woman’s duties but the couple’s common responsibilities,” Oh says. From Househusband wears the apron, not pants in the family


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