What The Freak Is Wrong With Alpha Females?
Hot Alpha Female has blog about this topic in her site.
Hi Hot Alpha Female,
Permit me to response to your post here because I think my response would be very long winded and garrulous, LOL!
An alpha female is usually referred to those highly successful and rich women. The CEO of those corporations or their own company’s. They are making more money than those beta men .
When I refer an Alpha female, it can also be women professionals like lawyers, doctors, engineers who marry down or seek life partners who earns less than them.
[Is she simply someone earns more money than her man?]
She not only earns more than him but is more successful in her job and outlook. She has got a higher profile than him.
[Does it mean that she has more control over him in everyway]
Generally speaking, during the chase, it is the women who hold the upper hand. She earns more than him and her financial muscle or might is bigger than him. If it concerns her money, she will have a bigger clout .LOL!. Who has got more control will depends on whether the women love the men more or the men love the women more.
Generally, an Alpha woman would like to run and manage her life her way and she would dislike people telling her what to do. Before marriage, the women are the queen. The men in order to woo them will have to submit to their whims and fancies unless it is the woman that is crazy about that man.
[ Does it mean that she is smarter than him? Better looking? Or does it just mean that you will do the housework for him?]
A woman will generally think she is smarter than him overall. In some cases, it is true. There are many areas in our life where women excel and some areas where men excel. No man is an expert in every field. Each of us has our own specialties. We are experts in our own arena.
Well! You cannot compare a woman’s look with a man. Most of the time, we see beautiful women are attracted to handsome men and the not so beautiful with the not so handsome. There are always exceptions like the beauty and the beast.
The housework maybe done by hired hands or she may take it upon herself as she is not satisfied with the hired hands or the men’s way of doing things. She may have to supervise those hired hands as the men may not do a good job.
[I ask these questions, because I think that some girls, label themselves as Alpha Females because they are simply picky. But this pickiness man not come from Alpha Female tendencies which I believe are associated with much higher levels of self confidence but because they have been hurt in the past and therefore feel they need to set higher standards so they cant be burnt as easily.]
I think men will always be men whether they are Beta or Alpha males. Alpha males may even be more pronounced in their actions than Beta males.
When the men is rich , he would expect a certain criteria from his woman. Being hurt is a part of the game of love. We learn from our mistakes.There is no way you can shield them out completely. How many heartbreaks you get or give to others are all fated . LOL!
[In my terms I think that it is someone who has high levels of self confidence, knows what she wants out of life and looks for things that are challenging and meaningful. I think she is someone who strives to seek an equal, someone who she can throw ideas back and to with, who brings out the best in her. She does have high self esteem and this allows her to surrender to her worthy partner]
This is very true of your definitions of an Alpha female. It is not wrong to think this way .You are looking from your side. Have you thought of looking from the other side? To the men, such Alpha females are too aggressive like men and not soft,gentle and restraint like those traditional women(women in Thailand or the Malay women) .They are meek and submissive.
If the men have a choice, most of them would prefer a traditional women type and not a high flyer. When he comes home , there is his wife who would pamper him like a king. Compared to his high flyer wife, she would be too busy with work and will tend to neglect him and will not be able to do her duty as his wife. The world has changed, women are now more liberated but the men are still the same.
All males that earn less than you are not worthy of your attention because you think of them as below your standard. They are not your equal.Most women are quite rigid in their preconditions until when age catches up with her , will she lower her barriers.
Initially, the new men may appear attractive to you but when you slowly learn of his background, you would lose interest in him because he did not meet one of your conditions, to be equal or higher than you.
I read in one of your post, that it only takes 3 seconds for an Alpha female to assess the men. From what you see about his clothes or the things he used, you would come to a quick conclusion if he is worthy of your attentions or not. Further if you asked him what he is doing or what car he drives, would drive the final nail in his coffin..LOL!
But have you heard of this proverb, “Never judge a book by its covers!” What you see in such a short time cannot be a good judge of a person’s character and personality.Inside may contain a rough diamond and some other women who know their value, polish them till they shine and they get to keep them.
As you climb up the social ladder, you will find fewer men who would qualify.Just because a man does not take home a big pay cheque like you or don’t have the same academic qualifications,does not mean that he is an uninteresting or not a worthy man. Some people don’t have the chance to be rich . They don’ t have that opportunity .
An academic qualification is only good in a certain field. It only gives you the chance to make money in that field. People study for a degree not for their knowledge but to find a well paid job.There is nothing more to it.
In life, it is not about your paper qualifications, it is about living and doing the right things. A degree from the University of Hard Knocks is better.
I find some graduates can be stucked up fellas who think that they have a degree and they are more superior than others who don’t go to the university. Not many graduates will make it rich if they work for others.A company can only have one CEO or some managers. Some doctors and engineers even give up their jobs to become directors in private company’s , because they can make more than their related fields.
There are many graduates that are unemployed. They take up courses which have no relevance to the economy and find no jobs in that field. In the end, they are either self employed or work as policeman , bus drivers, taxi drivers etc.
We may speak in ideal terms and imagine the future scenario of our marriage life but I assure you what you think now and when you are on the ground are two different things.
[ Surrendering means that she can do things for him, without feeling like she is being degraded. Because she is a giving and whole person and wishes to express this. That’s all. An Alpha Female can maybe earn more money than her partner, or maybe equal his income. But she knows that this is not a reflection of her partner and his worth. You can be an Alpha Female and love to cook for your partner, wash the dishes and do the laundry.]
Ok! I will record these words you said and one day after you have married, then you can come back and see whether you still share the same thoughts..LOL!
It is not about surrendering, it is about gender roles which we have been ingrained or taught to us when we were young. When you were young, you accumulated your knowledge about the gender roles of a man and woman. You have formed an opinion what your husband or wife should do in a marriage.
Even when you earned a big pay, yet Alpha females still want to look for a provider in a man? WHY! They don’t have to depend any more on the men but they always feel insecure about the future. They want everything to be secured, better, if written in black or white or in tablets of stones. LOL! That is the female of the species way of thinking. If anything bad happens to them, they can always fall back on their husband.
Women are always insecure about many things. They are made that way. No one can tell what the future will bring. Live for today and let the future take care of itself.You may make plans for the future but don’t forget to live in the present. For we don’t know when we will leave this world. Life and death is not in our powers.
A woman’s work is only secondary. It is a stop gap measure in her life till her main priority of finding a right and suitable mate and marries. She retires to become a mother and care giver.
A traditional man expects his wife to cook, wash and take care of him like his mother..LOL! A husband expects the wife to do those roles and I don’t see where it says she will have to surrender and do those roles. A man is the provider and the woman a homemaker. Now that women are working in large numbers and in certain cases have become the main providers, there is a clash in the concept of provider and homemaker. There is a role reversal and women do not expect to perform both the roles. She wants the men to do more housework’s, baby care giving or share in their marriage duties without being gender bias.
An Alpha female can do all those feminine roles if she can remind herself that she is a woman and not some bossy woman who only wants to be served. In work, she is the boss, when she comes home, she will also be the boss…Can she let the man be the boss of the house ? Easier said than done.
[Why do people have this preconceived notion that you are either an Alpha Female or a Traditional Housewife. All im asking, is … cant you be both? I think its highly possible. N this is what I would classify as the “ Hot Alpha Female” – just an ordinary chick who can balance lead a balanced fulfilling life in all areas. Work, leisure and relationships.]
Is it possible to be both? Will success and riches not go into your head? Being successful can make you think like men and being aggressive like men and lose your feminine values.
Can you remain as simple as those traditional women? Can an Alpha woman behave like a traditional wife? If you think you can, then you are the minority. The Alpha women will have to have the Miranda complex. They will have to pretend like traditional women to keep the men from scooting away as fast as their legs can carry them during the dating period. LOL!. You may pretend for a short period but can you pretend for whole life? Before marriage, you may keep up the charade but after marriage , you would show your true self.After marriage , most men will have to accept their fate.
If you are known as a ‘Hot Alpha female’, you are even more intimidating to the males.To the men , you are not the marrying type but only for the fun and play type. No offense meant.Those women who are sexy, beautiful and hot are intimidating to many men because they do not have a perfect body to match hers…LOL! A plain Jane is not so intimidating to the men.
[I mean I definitely get your point that many guys are scared off Alpha Females because they appear to be very aggressive. But I think that if you toned it down a bit, that you would be able to attract a lot of meaningful traffic in terms of interested guys your way! N I think that the aggressive mainly stems from wanting to protect yourself from being hurt, n working on this area so that you no longer feel like you need to put up a barrier to the world and to guys, will make attracting the right guy for you a whole lot easier!]
It is not the lack of guys but the dearth of the quality in them and many women are still single because they want the very best from men.
If you are a graduate, would you date a non graduate? If you are in your 20’s or 30’s , you would not even give it a thought but when you are near the 40’s or over, you would become desperate and any good man who is interested in you will do , graduate or no graduate!Can such a marriage survive when you come from such a different background? They are looking for an Adonis .
If you think you need to marry, then you should lower your expectations and find some good men of sound character and not based on his earnings. Love a man for what he is and not his ability to earn a big pay cheque.People used to marry based on the grooms future prospects or perceptions of his abilities. It is a calculated risk. Most men at their 20’s are just starting out and not established yet. I really admire the Malays and their culture. The girls are taught not to look down on the males as long as he can make an honest living.
If you think , you want to look for the perfect man , then I can only wish , you were also perfect.
Mirror! Mirror! On the wall! Who is the most beautiful and perfect woman of all? Me! Of course ! Where is the most perfect man? He is not here on Earth but in Heaven! Sighs!
In conclusion, if an Alpha female can temper her success and retain her feminine values, she will have a higher chances of getting married in life.We are not talking of extremities. Most women are somewhere between the Alpha female and the traditional women.The traditional women is extinct and may not even be found in Africa . LOL!
Women have made tremendous progress and contributions to the society by and large and their success in many fields have been phenomenal .The men’s world is reeling from this women’s onslaught and the men don’t know how to handle this situation which has turned their world upside down.
You have already answered this question from one of your post A Hot Alpha Female Doesnt Have Many Rules!!
P/S, I have visited your blog and you are a great and prolific writer.It is great to exchange ideas or duel with you ..LOL!