Archive for July, 2009
Many Singaporeans and Malaysians chose to marry foreign Vietnamese brides because they are not as demanding and materialistic as the local brides. Some of them are ethnic Chinese, born and bred there.
Most of those middle age bachelors are from the rural heartlands because it is difficult to seek a wife, as many girls have migrated to the larger towns to work.
Vietnamese brides are simple and hardworking people and they can accept whatever conditions in their new country .
Those living near the border with Thailand would marry Thai girls.
Everything will be fine at first but marriage is not easy when they come from vastly different cultures and sometimes may not be able to communicate with each other except with sign language.
When they don’t get what they wanted from their spouse, those women may take whatever is available and abscond .
It is better than the poverty which they faced back home.They came from a war torn country and faced lots of hardships during the war.
Marrying outsiders offers them a chance to escape from their poverty or a life of prostitution to survive .
They will go to those matchmaking companies who will arrange the Vietnamese girls to come over and if they like what they see, the deal is done.
It is like the traditional customary practice,where you only get to see her for a short while and agree to marry her. You will only know the real person when she becomes your wife.
The matchmaking companies will not guarantee or vouch for her character or background.
She maybe tainted goods and you will be unlucky if you chose the wrong one.
Marrying a mail order bride is not without risk. Those brides could still be married in their home country or not legally divorced or in some sort of emotional entanglements with their ex’s.
Those foreign brides may run back to their own country and you will not be able to trace them . Even if you can trace them , there is nothing you can do about it.
Those men should check the girls background but it is easily said than done because it would incur a large amount of money to hire PI’s.
Even some of them have to pay by installments to those matchmaking agencies.
They can only hope for the best or they will never marry in this life.Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 1 so far )
Do you sometimes feel like you are the man in the house ?
You make all the major decisions and pay for everything in the marriage .Your man appears to only piggy back on your back and adding to your problems.
You want him to pull his weight in the relationship but he seems to be oblivious of your feelings and discontentment’s.
Instead of being understanding and helpful , some men may even constantly criticize , complaint ,emotionally abuse and have a higher expectations from her.
The journey is long and you can get tired and you need to rest sometimes and expect him to carry you when you feel weary and weak.
You are tired of carrying all those burdens on your shoulder and want him to help lighten them.
You maybe paying for half of everything in today’s marriages and in some cases, you may even pay for everything.
After paying for so many things , you expect some gratitude from him but instead you feel lousy about his selfish behaviour and would have preferred if he showed some understandings about your needs and learned how to nurture and take care of you .
You feel that you have given a lot to the relationship but he only knows how to take but does not know how to give in return.
Blame it on their mothers who pampered them and did not train them properly.
It can be very weary carrying the whole world by yourself all the time and sometimes , you need to rest and allow him to help you but help is not forth coming.
You think of your parents time when the man is the sole provider and the woman the house minder. The gender roles were distinct in those times.
With women getting higher educations and better paying jobs, the role of women in our society has taken on a different role. They are now the breadwinner as well as the housewife.
Even though some men take on a greater role in the taking care of the child and home, a greater proportion of the household chores are still being borne by the women.
Women want equality and they want to prove that they are just as capable as the men in every fields.
In the process, they compete against men and men are confused with the new role of women in the society.
Today’s women act like men or assimilated some of his characteristics but yet want to be treated like a traditional type of women.
The modern women want independence and equality but deep down they want to be taken care off like a traditional women with the men paying for everything.
It is like having the best of both worlds. Some women reverted back and fro from the old and the new world whenever it suited them.
If she is from a lower paying job, her man would look after her but if she is from the other higher end, the man is not expected to pay for her upkeep.
The way to avoid these pitfalls is to work out the details before marriage or put a certain percentage of their incomes into a joint account for all those bills and mortgages.
I see some Christian couples do that and they have a very good relationship and money is not a problem or can cause any misunderstandings or bad feelings.
When you are in love, you just want to live together and do not want to discuss the nitty gritty stuff before hand. There could be serious troubles if you go into too much details.
If there is love, everything will be fine and you won’t mind paying for everything.
When the honeymoon is over and reality sets in ,you begin to see his faults .
He is not the golden God you worshiped and let him walked all over you but only a statue with feet of clay.
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You maybe too busy to take notice about things around you . From morning till dawn , your life is like a clockwork routine everyday.
Work consumed the most part of your life and you are like a slave in the new world order.
The world is turning and revolving without stopping and days turns into nights and months into years.
Soon one day you will realize that you are no longer young. You see mothers with cute infants and kids and the realizations hits you .
You think you can have a child when you want because you could have anything you wanted in life through sheer hard work, a big house, an expensive car, a successful career ,an opulent lifestyle and all those rich trappings of life.
Nothings seems to be beyond your abilities.You think you can control your own destiny.
You read and hear stories of those stars who had children in their forties,actress Jane Seymour and model Iman both had children at 44, actress Mimi Rogers was 45, Susan Sarandon 46 and Holly Hunter 47.
What is sometimes not reported is a very high proportion of babies born to women in their 40′s are conceived using donated eggs from younger women.
You think it is possible to have babies in your forties and you would assume that you too will be capable of having your own baby when the time comes.
If you cannot , there is always the IVF process.Not everyone can afford this treatment . It is very expensive and only have a 13 % chances of success.
You may be healthy , look and feel young at your 40′s but your eggs have gone by their expired date.
The window of opportunity of having your own baby is so narrow that you are not able to squeeze through anymore.
All your plans of wanting to have a bigger and beautiful house, a successful career , a loving and understanding husband and the most prize of all ,a baby is now out of your reach.
Without a baby or motherhood, life seems to have lost it’s meanings. You often wonder about those mothers who devoted all their love and time taking care of their mentally challenged kids.
Don’t be too busy chasing financial independence or looking for the right and perfect man to come along.
Your most fertile time will not last forever and your chance to have a baby will be too late.
Many women would share her fate because they do not look at the big picture. They are just like those lemmings rushing over the cliff and into the sea.
You have no one to blame but yourself because you did not plan to have a baby in your most fertile period but rather settle for all those worldly desires first.
You wait and wait ……..
As a child, you received your mother’s love but sadly you will not be able to pass those love to your own child.
A Mother’s Love
A Mother’s love is something
that no on can explain,
It is made of deep devotion
and of sacrifice and pain,
It is endless and unselfish
and enduring come what may
For nothing can destroy it
or take that love away . . .
It is patient and forgiving
when all others are forsaking,
And it never fails or falters
even though the heart is breaking . . .
It believes beyond believing
when the world around condemns,
And it glows with all the beauty
of the rarest, brightest gems . . .
It is far beyond defining,
it defies all explanation,
And it still remains a secret
like the mysteries of creation . . .
A many splendoured miracle
man cannot understand
And another wondrous evidence
of God’s tender guiding hand.
by Helen Steiner Rice.
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A two years old girl was a tug of war between the suicidal father and a rescuer on an eight floor window in Chengdu , China.
She was saved by the rescuer and thanks God that she was lucky to be alive and a tragic incident averted.
It is so horrible and terrifying to witness such a calamitous scene.
The suicidal father who was on drugs was gripping the ankle of his daughter and dangling her outside the eight floor window and threatening to throw her down.
Why did the father threaten to throw her down from the eight floor?
It is very sad when the parents take out their stress and frustrations and hit on the innocent child.
They are irrational and whatever the reasons, he should not have done that .It is very inhuman.
Life is precious and furthermore when they are only a young and defenseless child.
There have been cases where the man could not cope with looking after a child and they became violent and went into a rage with dangerous results.
Sometimes , it is about problems in their relationships where the mother devotes too much of her time on her baby and neglecting her man. This can be a source of contentions between them.
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It is the only hope for the poor to make it rich without sweating for it. Even if they worked very hard , they will not make it into the rich category.
Those who are capable may need a long time to accumulate their riches. Many want a shortcut way to riches.
There are three and sometimes four lottery draws in a week in Malaysia. There is another big lottery with the first prize being Rm$3million .
Many poor people play those lotteries regularly . Some place small bets while others may hope of striking it rich and becoming a millionaire.
The big boss of those lotteries are sure winners and the government gets a cut through taxes.
Despite those horrendous odds,those punters believed in their luck.There are many stories of people striking it rich due to circumstances.
Sometimes, extra ordinary things or events happened and those people bet on those events. They looked up in the ‘numbers dictionary ‘which interpret events or things into numbers.
One of my friend found an egg near his car and he exaggerated his story to his friend that a hen laid an egg on top of his car.
Both of them interpreted the events and bought his car number, the egg number and the hen number. That very day of the first draw, all three numbers came up and they were richer by a few thousands.
Was it pure coincidence ? They were very lucky indeed.
WINNING the lottery is bad for your health even though it makes you happy.
Many punters do not accept this fact. They see the rich and their opulent lifestyles and want to be like them without working for it.Greed has blinded them.,
They think that money can solve all their problems in life and they will live luxuriously without any financial worries.
No worries matey! They can always seek the best doctors money can buy ,to cure them if they are sick.
Jackpot winners drink and smoke too much as they celebrate their good fortune and enjoy their new-found wealth.
When a man has plenty of money, he would indulge in those ‘sin’ activities. He would gamble more, womanize, visit hookers, keep mistresses ,drink more, smoke more and eat more of those expensive foods.
They end up having “worse lifestyles” and suffer long-term health problems.
Buying the lottery is like cutting your pound of flesh and selling it to the Sherlock. It is your blood , sweat and toil money .
Think of what you can do with those money instead of feeding it to the hungry tiger.
It is still not to late to stop this gambling habit.It is addictive and can destroy your happiness.
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Had her downstairs neighbour not noticed water dripping through her ceiling, she would still be dead and unnoticed by anyone.Nobody noticed any foul smell coming out from her flat?
The badly decomposed remains of an 89-year-old woman,Miss Purves were discovered in her flat five years after she died,
This is a sad reflections of the times we live in. You could be dead and nobody knows until something drastic happens and you are discovered.
People who lives alone are vulnerable. If they do not work or have any relatives or friends, they may die without anyone knowing or unable to get help while dying.
In today’s busy living world, there is no time to get to know our neigbours. We all mind our own business and ignore our neigbours.
After work , we will return home and locked ourselves in our homes and enter into our own private world.
In the modern city life, it is everyone for himself/herself.We have no time for our neigbours unless there are advantages to us. Otherwise, we don’t give a damned about our neighbours.
Sometimes neighbours too,do not like to mix around or kept aloof from us. It could either be a misunderstandings or a growing social problem.
Nobody noticed she was missing as her pension was paid directly into a bank account and bills were paid by direct debit.The convenience of modern life has its drawbacks.
This is a very sad but true case. It is not easy living next to a loner because old people can be obnoxious and sometimes they can cause frictions or troubles or do not like people to poke into their business.
As the population grows older, this will become a common occurrence in the foreseeable future unless the government does something about it.
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There are couples who wanted children but no matter how hard they tried, they could not get pregnant.
Some of them went for medical checkups to find the cause of their infertility. Others tried those complicated medical treatments and expensive pills or portions.
The way to boost fertility could be as simple as making love every day. Have plenty of rest, eat the right kind of food and exercise regularly.
The present generation is over worked,over stressed and under exercise and fed a lousy under nourished diet which caused them to feel fatigue and dulled their sexual life.
Her most fertile period is seven days before and after the onset of her first day of period . His sperms can stay in her from three to seven days.
Some women may not have regular periods. Usually ovulation is on day 14 of the menstrual cycle .
The problem is that many women don’t ovulate on day 14 of their cycle. Normal ovulation can occur as early as day 10 and as late as day 20 (or even later, especially if your cycles are irregular).
How can you predict when you will ovulate ? There are many methods available, including using ovulation predictor kits or tracking your basal body temperature.
Trying to find the right timing can be distracting from the purpose of sex. It can become a chore and becoming less about love and connection. This can cause tremendous stress on a relationship.
Research shows daily passion boosts both the quality of a man’s sperm . You should have passions like when you were young.
Making love regularly is said to prevent the build-up of damaged sperm. Freshly produced sperm is better than stored sperms. They may not secrete in large quantities but it only take one sperm to fertilize the egg. Fresh sperms are greater swimmers than old sperms.
Just enjoy the passions in love and leave everything to God. I believe children are a blessings from God.
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