Archive for May, 2009
Malaysia will soon be the only country in this world to persecute the men for telling their wives are ugly!!!! I do not know if other countries have this law yet .
You Malaysian men better watch what you tell your wives..LOL! She may carry a recorder on her to record your words and you are in the sin bin.
Malaysia’s director-general of the Women’s Development Department, Dr Noorul Ainur Mohd Nur ,said laws are being amended to reflect the seriousness of those remarks – when uttered by the husband in his attempt to humiliate his wife.
If the parliament amend the law and include this clause, those Malaysian men are in for a hard time. The Malaysian parliament consist of mostly men representatives and do you think those men parliamentarians will pass this amendment?
I suppose for now the only word is ‘ugly’ but later on may add more negative words to this clause…LOL!
Emotional abuse is not only about telling your wife is ugly,it is a psychological warfare where the men attempt to degrade and humiliate the women.
The methods of emotional abuse include causing fear by intimidation, threatening physical harm to self, partner, children, or partner’s family or friends, destruction of pets and property, forcing isolation from family, friends, or school or work.(Wikipedia)
With the modern technology , text and cyber -bullying became the new form of emotional abuse.
When some one is angry, all kinds of hurtful words just pour out from their mouth without any brake. You should not take to heart , those hurtful words because they don’t really mean it.
Some men continuously criticize you, humiliate you, or undermine your self-esteem. They come from an emotional abuse family system and do not know it is wrong.They were brought up in that kind of environment . How to blame them ?
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If those people have a choice, they would not want to borrow money from those Ah long’s (loan sharks).
They need money urgently and the banks are not lending them because they do not have the right criteria to qualify for loans.
Those banks would need collateral’s like a house or land tittles in order to secure a loan.
In the present day , it is easy to apply for a credit card and the banks literary send you one even if you do not apply for it.
Credit cards are a very good source of income for those banks because of the hidden costs (late payments fee’s, annual fee’s)and 18% interest P.A .This would make those banks the officially sanctioned licensed ‘Ah Long’s ‘
Where can they go or turn to ,if they want to borrow money ?
If the banks do not want to lend them because they do not have any collateral’s , they could go to those pawn shops or money lenders if they have gold ornaments to act as a deposit.
They could seek out their friends or relatives but there is a limit on how much those friends and relatives can lend . Moreover for some people to let others know about their financial predicaments is shameful (No face).
It is when they do not have any collateral’s , or gold ornaments, or willing friends or relatives ,they will seek the services of those Ah Long’s.
Since it is an unsecured loan , the Ah Long’s can charge very high interests for their loans.
Those who want to borrow money to tight over a situation can be from any levels of the society.
It could be from the rich to the very poor in the society. The majority of borrowers are from the middle class as the poor are too poor and those Ah Long’s will not lend to them.
In Malaysia, you can see the Ah Long’s hanging their banners or posters advertising their services with only their contact numbers and no address as it is illegal to lend money without a license.
They have migrated from sticking their name cards on telephone poles and walls of buildings.
There are many reasons why people want to borrow money from those Ah Long’s.
Some are die hard gamblers who lose their bets and need to repay their winners.Some businessmen need money to cover their postdated cheques which are due.Some need the money for emergencies due to sickness or accidents.
If you are a die hard gambler, it is difficult to kick the habit and you are at the mercies of those Ah Long’s.
For those businessmen , it would be better to arrange with those debtors to settle those cheques which are due.
Borrowing from those Ah Long’s will only increase your cost . Those business debtors are understanding as they do not want to be harsh and will allow you more time to pay up.
You will save a lot from those high interest charged by those Ah long’s.
If you borrow from those Ah Long’s to pay your debtors, you are only stupid.
Those who borrow from those Ah Long’s because of an emergency, make sure that you can pay them back. Otherwise , you will be hounded and your life would be like hell.
There is another way you can borrow from the banks if you have those credit cards. If you need a short term loan , you can always use the cash advance facility and if you want to max out your card, you can go to those companies that will arrange the loan from the banks and you can pay back by installments in two or three years time.
Those companies will swipe your card for electrical goods but you get cash after paying for the bank commissions and their agent’s commissions. it can be a one time upfront 18% to 20% flat for the three years loan. it is not expensive and better than Ah Long’s.
Live within your means and cut your clothes according to your size. I rather be poor and happy than to appear rich but with mountain of debts.Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 1 so far )
Never give out your bank account number to anyone , not even your best friend , relatives or your boss.
You do not know what is their intentions and when you find out about it , it maybe too late to save you from the heartaches .
A few youths were lured with easy jobs with good money without suspecting anything until loan sharks started harassing them.
They had to give out their personal bank account numbers to the company’s clients and a certain amount of money was deposited into their accounts.
They then had to take out the money from the bank and gave it to their boss and received a lucrative commission.
The boss did not have an office but worked out of a coffee shop at a shopping center and there was no company name .Isn’t that very fishy?
A company that does not have an office .There are some who may have an office address but the barest minimum of furniture’s . This should raise some red flags and it could be a fly by night company.
The boss borrowed money from those loan sharks without their knowledge and since it was their accounts, the loan sharks went after them for the repayments.
The boss could be working with those loan sharks and now it was their problem . The boss denied everything and cut them off. He will probably disappear and to reappear in another place to carry out his schemes.They were too trusting or too innocent.
Anyone who requested your bank accounts for help in the transfer of money should be treated with utmost suspicions. It could be illegal money laundering and all those money trails will lead to you . That is a capital offense and you can be jailed for this crime.
If your job requires you to have your personal bank accounts to handle the company’s financing’s, you will be in dire troubles when the boss commits any illegal acts. Get out before it is too late.
If someone or your best friend or relatives offer you a very good deal, be very suspicious .
It is probably a get rich scheme or a sham. Do not be greedy and fall prey to it. Your greed can blind your eyes and you will be conned of your money.
There are many scams these days and they are getting more innovative and if something is too good to be true, you better not swallow their bait.
The recession has spawned more new high tech crooks and one must always be on the alert for such cons in real life and in the internet.
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There was once the itsy ,bitsy, tweeny ,weenie ,yellow polka dot bikini trend in the 70′s and now the super tight , skinny, weenie, teeny and tingling blue jeans.
You can see them everywhere ,whenever those modern teens gather. You often wonder how they managed to wriggle into those skin tight and skinny jeans. They are so trendy and in vogue among the younger generations.
Not everyone likes them because they can be uncomfortable and the tightness of those jeans can cause discomforts .They can also cause a tingling sensations or meralgia paresthetica. They feel a tingling sensation like numbness or slight pain running up and down their thighs.This is caused by the constant pressures on the nerves .
If you are going to wear those skin tight jeans, you will become a victim of those fashion trends.
With a five inches high stilletos or a shoe that is one or two sizes too small for your feet, you will end up killing your feet and maybe give you backaches too.
According to some , you could find a weird sensation in your legs as though you are floating when you are walking.You feel like your legs are not there or gone to sleep.
There is a rise of these conditions among the young girls.. This condition usually affect those obese people who are forced to wear skin tight jeans .
There were rumors that snug jeans caused infertility in men and yeast infections in women. How far it is true, I don’t know?
There is no permanent risk of injuries as long as they remove those pressures. If you feel those sensations , you will know why?
Even with that knowledge, there are girls who will follow the fashions and disregard those tingling sensations. They want to look trendy and beautiful.
Those fashionistas are willing to suffer and torture themselves for the sake of their vanities. Women are vain creatures.
They buy and wear smaller size shoes , jeans, blouses in order to look cute and cuddly.
Oh! Well! Since it is not a life or death issue , so what?
They do not always wear those skinny tight jeans all the time any way.
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When you love your partner with all your heart and soul and he loves you back the same , it is only a matter of time ,you would expect him to pop that question,”Will you marry me ?”
You have been waiting patiently and earnestly for that proposal from him and would probably have prepared your reply beforehand. Sadly and disappointingly , those loving and ever precious words will remain still born in his brain.
You will need to graft those words into his heart and when summer comes, you should see a new shoot and if you cannot see any new shoots,he is not the one for you.
Some women may have waited from two to 8 years and some forever .If you are not going to push for it , the men would just sit on the fence and do nothing . He loves you and wants to be with you but his words and deeds do not match.
After two or three years and if he cannot commit to you , there is no hope in that relationship and it would be better to move on and find another man.Some women can go on having an uncommitted relationship for many years.
They are only deceiving themselves . If he cannot commit to you now , what makes you think he will commit to you five years or ten years down the road ?
Your biological clock is ticking and you want to have kids as early as possible .He seems not to be in a hurry or oblivious of your needs and it never crosses his mind that time is an essential factor.Everyday is just the same to him and he is bobbing around directionless and soaking up your sunshine.
Whenever you want to bring up the subject of marriage,he seems lukewarm about it and he does not share your views. After all, you are living like a married couple and what is a piece of paper?
Do you want a piece of paper or a loving and happy relationship ?
Most men would posed that question to the women but one needs to understand a woman’s psyche.
Your perspective is different and being married legally offers you security ,official status and matters when dealing with the state like death , divorce or inheritance.
If the state recognize such loose relationships, then there is no problem but in many countries, a marriage certificate or if your marriage is registered with the state , then you have a local standing . Otherwise, you are nobody and cannot sue or claim your rights as his wife or his inheritance .
Many couples are living together or cohabiting and having children too.They are not married but are living like married couples.The men are enjoying this arrangements without having any legal commitments to their partners.If they don’t like each other, they can just leave . This is an unfair advantage to the women.
A marriage is like a contract and is binding . When you don’t have a marriage contract, your bonds may not be strong and he can easily break away or tempted away by another younger women.
If the man loves you , why are they afraid to get married ? Would they not want to go to the end of the world with you or die for you ?Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 1 so far )
If you go to the ‘Dear Cupid’ site, you will get the impression that many women in the U.K detest and are against the watching of porn by the men .
There are many types of porn but those women seemed to lump them all into one group . Child pornography is against the law in many countries .Watching them is not against the law but possession and distribution is against the law.
You can be fined or jailed or both for that offense. Child pornography is a vile and contemptuous crime because those young children are kidnapped,sexually abused and sometimes killed.
I received a terrible shock that some of those women may even report their fathers, brothers,sons, boyfriends, husbands to the police and brand them as paedophiles and have them arrested by the police and lock up in jail for simply watching porn on the computers.Maybe, this is not the real situation over there.
The fact that these women would go to that great length to incarcerate their men folks is astonishing to say the least.
Why are such women so extreme in their actions?It is just beyond my comprehensions. I cannot imagine sending anyone in my family to jail for watching porn on the PC.
Most males do watch porn in their lifetime and some do watch it on and off. It can be addictive and cause tensions and break ups in the relationships. Some men may even deny they ever watch porn in front of their girlfriends or wives. There are a lot of hypocrites in this world.
Porn is a taboo subject and people do not talk about it openly between the sexes. There are still those holier than thou types who would cast aspersions on your character and brand you a dirty sex fiend. They would avoid you like a plaque.
Not all females are against porn . There are those who are more open minded and enjoy watching some of those porns. Some do watch but will not admit it openly for fear of being branded a bad girl. Some watch porn alone or together with their girl friends which seems more fun and enjoyable.
If you are going to watch porn with your boyfriend together, be prepared that you will not be able to fight against tide. Your hands and your body will not obey your mind…LOL!
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“A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.”
That sums up the difference on how each sex view marriage.
Before a man is ready for marriage, , he would need to have a stable job, healthy , psychologically and mentally conditioned for marriage , wealthy enough to afford the wedding receptions and be ready to give up his Wild, Wild ,West ways .
In some cultures, it is the woman’s side which provide the groom with dowry’s or pay for the wedding receptions.
Money is the chief impediment to being married. Everything needs money and when you live by yourself , you will find that every single thing will have to be bought .When you were living with your parents, you need not spend a single cent . Everything you need was provided by them. How life with one’s parent is such a bliss!
Being married to a girl , means that he will have to give up part or all of of his freedom or independence , sharing his decisions and taking on an increased in the responsibilities of a spouse, ,children and home.He becomes the provider .
The traditional women and some modern day liberated women does not realize that burden as they come to expect the guy to bear that responsibility and it is his job. Some of them take it for granted.
To a working women , she can always quit her job anytime when she does not feel like working or if she was fired from her job. She has no problem with that as she can always depend on her husband to support her. To her, the job is just a temporary stop gap measure.
The men do not have this choice. They have to work till they are old or cannot work anymore.
If they are single , they do not have to worry about the family or home or kids and can just spend their life anyway they want.
When a woman marries, she is likely to focused on herself , her wants, wishes, dreams and desires. He is like her passport to a great life and assumes that he will share her dreams as well.
Today, women are working and the household expenses are lightened by her contributions. Some husbands pay for all the bills but do not give her any allowances since she is working .
Basically what she makes, she spends on herself or on the kids and only grudgingly help pay the bills when the husband is broke.
There are many obstacles in a man’s path to matrimony.If money is not a problem , there is the problem of her.
Will she be a good mother and wife and make his life worth living ?
Will she be like those high maintenance type? They worries about not being able to afford the good life for her and provide her with the luxuries of life.Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )
You will never know this monster until it comes out of the evil darkness ,deep inside of that person.
Behind every person there lurks a monster waiting to be released or born. You cannot judge a person from the outside for the monster in him can feed on his anger and hate and grow beyond his control.
Many a times, we may feel like losing control and letting this monster to take over the driver’s seat.
If this monster is allowed to take over, we will be going on a disastrous journey .
Sometimes, life’s can be lost because we don’t know how to control our emotions and anger.
There is a trigger in each of us and we need to recognize when we have reached that point and run away from that situation.
Running away is the only answer as you cannot fight those forces that is arrayed against you.
You do not know what you are up against and it maybe something that you have never experienced before.
Like the Tsunami, those tidal waves which will sweep you off and there is nothing you can do or fight against.
You are powerless and if you do not run away , you will have to pick up those destruction’s that those forces left behind.
A divorced mother with a 3 year’s old wanted to find a step father for her toddler but ended up losing him .
This is a very sad , unfortunate and tragic story. He did not find the right man but a monster who did not meet her ideals but took her most precious possessions from her.
Her boyfriend was jealous of the toddler because he felt she cared more for her son than him.
They argued frequently and they could not find a way out of this problem. It festered and grew cancerous ,leading to the abuse of her toddler and death at the hand of this monster.
He was bashed so brutally by her boyfriend that he became brain dead and died four days later in the hospital.
Such incidents can happen anywhere and anytime. As mothers, you should be watchful and observe your man’s behaviour towards your children.
This does not happen suddenly but can build up over time. If you think , he has anger problems and treat the child harshly , you should nip the problem in the bud.
Do not leave them alone together. Always be watchful .Seek help and get him to see a therapist or counselor.
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Man demands ‘break up fee’s’ from ex girlfriend and for all those gifts and money spent on her. Otherwise he would upload her naked pictures and sex videos online.
What a cheap sauerkraut and low life creature !
She reported to the police fearing the man would make good his threat.
This is a very unfortunate incident and she has only herself to blame .
Why did she agree to have her naked pictures and sex videos with him?
She put herself in a disadvantage position and open herself to blackmail.It is easy to take pictures with the camera phone and video .
Sometimes, one party may secretly video the events without the other party aware of it.
Such happenings are very common these days with all those mini spy cameras.
These days whenever you are in a public place or even in somebody’s home , you will have to be careful when you are changing your clothes or naked. Check the mirrors and for any suspicious looking objects .
When you are on good terms , every thing would be hunky dory but human relationship is a complex matter. There are ups and owns in any relationship.
Today a friend but tomorrow an enemy or vice versa.There are the good times and there are the bad times.
You should always protect your interest and never compromise your integrity and welfare. It is a mistake many girls do not realize that the good times may not always last.
When the relationship is over after you have tried your very best to salvage it , you should come to terms with it and move on.
For some girls, they would return his things or throw them away and be not reminded of him . He is history.
For a man to demand back his money, gifts and a break up fee’s is ungentlemanly and down right obnoxious and repugnant.
He should cut his losses and vamoose from her life.There is no honour and it would only bring more shame and discredit to his name.
Let her go ,for the anger in your heart burns you more than her.
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Many grandparents are raising their grandchildren at their homes .With the current economic depression kicking in , we may see even more grandparents raising their grandchildren .
The parents are retrenched or they cannot meet their expenses and had to fall back on their parents.
The increasing incidence of parental
substance abuse, child abuse and neglect, incarceration, divorce, and desertion are the other factors which culminated in the grandparents having custody and raising their grandchildren.At their age, they should be looking at retirement and a relaxing life.
Grandparents play a major role in their grandchild’s development. They can give their grandchild the loving and supportive start early in their life.
They are given a second chance at parenting again. With their vast experiences , knowledge and time , they would make better foster parents to their grandchild.
When their children got married, they may need their parents help to look after their child. Some may just require their help on a short term.
Some may have no choice but to leave their children totally in their care due to economic and financial reasons.
Most grandparents spend a lot of time and dote on their grandchildren. They have more time, patience and understandings than the child’s parents who are always too busy with work and other commitments.
Being a grandparent can be a joyful experience and very satisfying. By helping them grow up in a secure environment, the grandparents experience a sense of self renewal.
It is what keeps them young in thought and body.Usually the grandchildren is the apple of their eye and literally , they live for their grandchildren. They also give them emotional fulfillment.
When the grandparents are denied access to their grandchildren ,or taken away from their care, it can be very hard and inconsolable.
This comes about when the parents divorce and the children stays with the mother who cut off her ex and his parents.
Some grandparents may spend large sums of money to fight in the courts for access to their grandchildren.
There are others who may never see their grandchildren again or at the mercy of the child’s mother.
If they are good, doting and co-operative grandparents, the mothers should not deny them access .
Put yourself in their shoes and you will sense their frustrations and helplessness. There should be a compromise and respect for each other.
It is normally a rocky journey when the parents divorce and some of them can be very intransigence , unreasonable, irrational and do not allow the other parent or grandparents to have access to their kids.
Such shortsighted actions can be detrimental to the child’s development and the special relationship with their grandparents.
Why deny your child the grandparent’s love and support? Do not be selfish and think only of yourself.
If you sow bad Karma you will reap more bad karma. Do not use your child as a pawn to hurt your ex or his /her parents. You should try to compromise with your ex and do what is best for the child’s welfare.
I do not have much recollections about my grandparents. My paternal and maternal grandfather died when I was very young and I don’t know how they look and even do not know what is their name. I can only remember my maternal grandmother but there was no close bond between us.They did not play any meaningful roles in my life. This is really sad.
That is why , we need to change and become more involved with our grandchildren for theirs and as well as for our benefits.
To guide , nurture and to offer them lots of love and affections and to make a great difference in their life.
A friend is better than an enemy. It is wise and prudent to have a cordial relationship with your grandparents -in-laws unless they are from Hell.
They have done no wrong to you nor to their grandchildren and to punish them by denying access to your children is pathetic and terribly wrong.
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