Archive for December, 2008
Despite their great strides in the emancipation of women in this century ,the modern women of today still bulks at taking the first step in the romance game.
They prefer to get laid back and expects the men to make the first step. They want those interesting men to start or initiate the chase.
They are not assertive enough and would rather not take the initiative to start the ball rolling . The concept of them making the first move is associated with some negative connotations. To make the first move would make her feel cheap and desperate.
There is a group of women who are known as the ‘China Dolls’ who are very brazen and would aggressively approach any men who would provide for her in exchange for her services.This further reinforces the negative views of women making the first move.
Not making the first move is a mistake because the men are receptive to the idea of women taking the first step. They are in fact delighted to be spoken to and they did not have those negative perceptions as women thought.
Generally , most men would welcome a woman approaching them and engaging them in conversations unless he is a pervert. They will be flattered by her attentions.The men would want to appear to be friendly , kind and helpful.
Not to talk to an interesting man when she is interested in him is a misconception , while secretly hoping for him to make the first move.
Some men may feel her interest but many men may not be that sensitive .There are those good looking guys who maybe shy or cowards or feel intimidated and will NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!
In this new age, it does not matter who starts the ball rolling . If he is incapable of initiating it , the women should take over the driver’s seat and then allow him to take over when the engine is warmth up.
A woman has to be careful that she is not too aggressive or it will drive away and frighten all those men.
Most men are attracted to beautiful and confident women and if they open the door , he would gladly come inside.
If you are still single , you will need to polish up your men hunting skills. Being a trapper and laying traps for them is not enough. You will need to challenge the traditional gender roles and break through the glass ceilings.
Suggested readings :-Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )
Are you a slave to the money God and the material God ?
We all know what is slavery and no one would like to be a slave .Yet many do not realized that they have been working their butt’s out to earn a decent living and providing for some material comforts to their families.
In their quest for wealth and material comforts, they have forgotten about their family values. They become like ants and work from dawn to dusk everyday of their life. There is nothing left for their wives and children .
Their priority is to make money to give their family a comfortable life and nothing else matters. They become workaholics and slaving at their job until they grow old and realize that their children have grown up without knowing them or their wives left them for another men who could shower more love on her.
Some men have the false notion that they need to be a good provider and everything would be fine.They expect their wives and children to take care of themselves and they forget that their wives are human beings and need intimacies and love.
Their life are lopsided and unbalance,for they concentrated 90% of their time to work and only 10 % to their family. Such an arrangement is unsatisfactory and will affect their families as they have neglected their wives and children’s welfare.
They may have provided the financial means to live a good life for their families but they have totally neglected the relationship on a personal level and human developments.
Marriage is about balance and you cannot devote too much of your time to career and a little to your family life. Both are equally important and to ignore one will be detrimental to the other.
They need to seek a balance so that they would have a balanced life, less of a materialistic life but a happier and closer knit family life.
Many thousands of Malaysians cross over into Singapore daily to work because of the good pay. They make good money but it comes at a high cost to their families.
Their wives are so lonely and depressed because their husbands are consumed by work and have no time for them. Their husbands are so tired mentally ,emotionally and physically that all they wanted to do is sleep and rest when they are not working.
They may even suffer ED due to their heavy work load and sex maybe unsatisfactory.The lack of intimacies may ruin their marriage. Some of the women may turn to others for their needs.
Children, deprived of love and affection, are the ultimate casualties. They grow up with an absentee father who do not have the time or inclinations to spend time with them or play with them or involved with their daily affairs while they were growing up.Some of them may mix with some bad hats and grow up to be delinquents in the society.
The cycle is completed when the father grows old and the son is too busy working and has no time for him or he does not care if he existed or whatever happens to him.
You may make more money and have more material comforts but is it worth the breaking up of your family or the poor quality in your relationship with your wives and children?
It is still time to change course if you are working too hard and not paying attention to your families.Money is not everything in life.We need to live a balance and fulfilled life
The love for money is the root of all evils and another may say the lack of money is the root of all evils. Whether it is the love for money or the lack of it , money does not guarantee you happiness.
In the end , for all your sacrifices and toils, you would be known only as an automaton or an ATM or automatic cash dispensing machine devoid of any personal feelings.
When you are old and useless, you will be send to the scrap heap because you are terminated and do not exist anymore.Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 1 so far )
This problem is only peculiar to the men . If they marry , they will have to walk a very fine line between two possessive woman ,his wife and his mother .
One is his mother and the other is the mother of his children . He will not only have to show where his heart lies but must appear to be fair to both of them.
If he does right, he will have harmony and peace in that family. He has to divide his loyalty and sometimes he is torn between those two when they do not see eye to eye with each other. He is caught in the cross fire .
A mother who nurtures him and took care of all his needs till he is able to support himself and a wife who shares his life together through thick and thin .
A mother would would want his son to love her more because a wife is like a shirt and you can change or discard any shirt if you do not like it or she may leave him . Whereas you only have one mother and she is always there for you ,no matter what happens.
When a man marries, he should learn to love his wife more and more because they have more roads to travel. A good mother would understand as long as he does not ignore or forgets about her. Out of sight but never out of mind. They should keep in contact with his parents and spend sometime with them .The mother will be satisfied and she will not demand more.
In the East, it is known as filial piety while in the West, they have a culture of moving away from the parents and sometimes having nothing more to do with them.When they are doing well, they will forget about them but when they are down , they will go back to them for help.
When your wife comes from a rich background, you should expect to listen to her as money talks louder.If your wife asked you this question, choose her or your mother? You do not have much choice.
You have made a life with your wife and committed to her.No right thinking rational women would want a man who loved the mother more than her.You would have to be very diplomatic with your wife and tell her a white lie.
She only wants to listen to those words that she wants to hear .It does not matter if you said it and do another thing.What is important to her is those words that come out of your mouth .
When you marry , it means you have become an adult and independent and have left your mother and father to begin a new life with your wife. You should be on your wife’s side. You are no more depending on your mother for all your needs.
If you love your mother more than your wife, it shows that you are still immature and has not grown up.Grow up quickly and be a real man .Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )
What is it that attracts you to a man ? What do you look for in a man ? What are the qualities that you value highly in a man ?
Can you guess the answer ?
For those men who do not have the killer looks or those with the super intelligence , it is manners that matters to a woman. How you treat her and your little gestures which reveals your true inner self warmth’s her heart.
That is why you see many beautiful women who are married to not so handsome or ugly men. A classic case of Beauty and the Beast.
Looks maybe advantages at first as there is sexual attractions and beauty is something everyone enjoys and appreciate. But looks are only skin deep and for any further relationships to blossom , it will require manners to sustain and bonds them together. Intelligence is an added asset if used in the right way and not to belittle others.
If you have the good looks, manners and riches, you are one ‘heckuva’ guy and can get most of the girls you want. Most of the girls will swoon and fall at your feet.
I have a friend who have those three qualities and where ever he went or approached any girls , all of them would be slain , even those married one’s. They would give him their phone numbers, addresses or names to him when he asked from them,even though he is just a total and complete stranger. The girls were like bowling pins , falling all over him. Such was his power and it was really amazing to see how this guy can weave his magic spell over them.
If he has the good looks but poor manners, she will be quickly turned off .It is human nature. If he has good manners , she will be very touched by his manners and kindness.
All men do look the same .There is not much difference physically. It is only in the class, whether they are from the high class or the low class type.
The men may not realize it, when they are with their same kind , they don’t need to be well mannered .It does not matter much to them . They understand their own kind.
But when they are with the women, they need to put on their best behaviours. It counts a lot because women view men by the way they are treated.
A woman likes to be treated like a woman and his mannerism is very important to her. It will decide whether she wants the relationship to carry on further.
To a woman, how she is treated by him can make or break that relationship.
Those with good manners can open many doors.
Good old fashion chivalry still works..Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 1 so far )
You are probably so busy with your working life that you do not have the time to think about your single status and each day will pass uneventfully until you realized that you are knocking on the 40′s door. Time flies very fast.
The problem only manifest when you gather with friends or on new year or Christmas occasions and find that they have love one’s besides them while you have nobody besides you.
You may sometimes wonder if there is something wrong with you or that there is something wrong with the men .Could be that your expectations were too high ?
Maybe, you are just unlucky not to attract any man and you have resigned to your fate or destiny .Your failure to find someone is not because you have not tried but that you did not find the right kind of suitable man .
You will rationalize and justify your single status and think that you can enjoy your single life and can live without a man .You are now self sufficient and able to support yourself financially and do not have to depend on a man for your needs.
It is not by choice and you have witness your friends suffer from bad relationships and you fear to venture there.
We should not look at those bad examples but we need to look at the positive one’s. It is better to have love and failed than not to love at all. No one is perfect and we learn from our mistakes .
You should not have fear but to enjoy and be happy with your single status.
The more you fear, the more you will become desperate and this will make any man flee as fast as their feet can carry them. You would appear to be very needy and to most men this is a turn off.You need to be confident about yourself just as you expect your man to be confident too.
Having to taste the fruit of marriage is better than just looking at it from afar.We can overcome the fear of being single but what is the real meaning of life ? Are we like those worker ants or honey bee’s whose existence is merely to work and gather?Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( None so far )
The modern day women have been liberated from the shackles of the old feudal system and is allowed and free to choose her own destiny.
All bias and prejudices were removed and they were given the same rights as the men in those develop countries.
Women were no more chained to the kitchen or imprisoned in their own homes.
This freedom to choose her path to live the life she wants have given her a lot of headaches and heartaches. They are now playing the twin roles of a woman and a man and it is causing them undue strains , dissatisfaction and pain .
They are unhappy about their twin roles and this has caused them internal conflicts which paralyzed them and probably ulcers in their stomachs.
They have attained success in many fields but many of these single minded career women had to give up a family life and those that had a family life , found it lacking and unsatisfactory or unfulfilled due to their busy and heavy schedules.
Many of these new generations of career women would have to decide for a successful working life or to have a happy family or to juggle their life as best as they can.
How do you judge the success of a woman? Is it by her achievements or job or is it being the good wife and mother to her kids.
What exactly is a woman’s role in the modern society?
The traditional feminine roles and lifestyles have evolved and women today found that they not only have to excel in their work but also as a good wife and mother.
The traditional roles and stereotyping of a woman and her expectations are quite deeply rooted in our society. Though women have made amazing advancements through the ages,the men are still lacking behind.
Whether you are a stay at home mom or a working mom , it is all about perceptions and if you are happy and contented with the multi roles you are playing now , you should carry on and not bend yourself over somebody’s perceptions of an idealistic and successful woman.
Be happy ,for you only live once.
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