The Working Mums – From The Daughter’s Perspective.
To be a human being is not easy as some people find life hard and difficult. What with the cost of living going up and the pains and the pangs of the daily struggle to survive the rat race and to move ahead of the pack. Animals do not have to worry or care about what others think of them. They eat and sleep and survive on instincts.
Not only being a human being is hard but being a female is even harder as society expects alot from the females and they are always in the spot light and the criteria judging them is even more stricter and higher than for the males.
With today’s living standards , a woman is expected to juggle her hectic career and home and being not a super woman , many of them will have to choose either career or home or somewhere inbetween.
Somewhere will have to break if they decide to hold two jobs inside and outside the home. The children will grow up lacking the close touch and the special rapport even though they may have every material things or facilities which their parents can afford and provided them to enjoy in this world.
Society or the social prevailing conditions do not expect the males to perform the roles of mothering and bringing up their children.
Are material things a substitute for mother’s love?
Any tangible things cannot replace the intangibles. It is that something special or shared moments that cannot be replaced with those ‘extras’ in life.Those moments that are like priceless moments captured and frozen in time and forever etched in their memories . It is these moments or their legacies ,where we will always remember them when the other person is gone.
A career minded mum may never feel for the daughter’s needs or ignore them as she becomes obsessed with moving ahead in her career. She would override the daughters psychological and emotional needs in her upbringing.
These women have the luxury of choosing a career or a full time housewife. Others may not have a choice as they are too poor and have to eke out a living to bring up their children .
It is just like rearing battery chickens in cages. You give them the food , water and a place to stay and allowed them to grow up in that environment without the ever presence of the mother figure to teach, play and share their childhoods.
Being a mother is no mean and easy feat. She will have to depend on her intuitions and instincts to survive the rigours and walk through that difficult terrain which is called motherhood.
When their daughters grow up , they will find that there is no special bond or close rapport with them . When they were young, the mothers were hardly around or were around and then disappeared as quickly as they came into their world.
In Malaysia, many working couples who can afford to hire a nanny or helper , have an Indonesian maid to look after their kids and do the household chores. She is like a Godsend help to them to manage their lifestyle.
Since the mothers are always busy , the children spends alot of time with the maid and learns from her and becomes their pseudo mothers in some cases.
What happens when the children grows up?
In those formative years , they have formed an opinion of their parents and since when they were young , their parents were not always there because of their hectic schedules; when their parents are old and look forward to their children, their children will be like them too and having their busy schedules or the lack of inclinations and do not have the time to visit or entertain their aged parents. It is Karma. The chickens have come back to roost. You reap what you sowed.
You have struggled hard and given them a good life but have you ever thought that it is not all about money or things but personal human values and be there for them when they needed you.
Some of us may not be able to change history and have to live with our handiworks while others can still decide which way they want to travel.
I do not blame my mother for not being there for us as we came from a very poor family and she had to supplement the income by being a washer women and she had to slaved every minute of her waking life to help put food on the table . We did not have a choice . We grew up and will always love her no matter what.
What do you want from life?
Reference and thanks to ;-